Don't go breakin' my heart:

Rush to the Altar — And the Wedding Singer Is…

It's wedding bells for Rush Limbaugh – for the fourth time.

The conservative firebrand, 59, exchanged vows with Kathryn Rogers – a blond bombshell half his age – in a lavish Hawaiian-themed wedding bash headlined by none-other-than Sir Elton John Saturday in Florida.

My fellow comrades:

For years and years and years, As a teenager, no one was a more loyal fan of Elton John than I, Pinkie. (He even wrote a song about me that said I'm as perfect as the Fourth of July!) But now I find myself having to destroy my entire Elton John CD collection to raise awareness of how devastated and outraged I am that he would sing at the wedding of none other than that loudmouthed, hatemongering, wants-Obama-to-fail Rush Limbaugh!

How can my beloved Elton do this? Does he really think that after this, the Obamas will invite him to the White House, or Honky Chateau if you will, to pick up an award and make a speech about how, after the past eight years, it's good to finally have a president who knows what an award is?

Have you any idea how I was looking forward to the prospect of Elton serenading Michelle with "The Bitch is Back" while Barack sat next to her, grinning and silently mouthing the refrain, "Bitch, bitch"?

Just who the hell does he think he is? Elton is not even a U.S. citizen, and yet here he is in the United States, accepting money from that vile hatemonger Limbaugh as if he has a permit to work here. And by the way—DOES he have a permit to work in the United States? I demand an investigation!

Yeah, I know sorry seems to be the hardest word, but at the very least he owes an apology to all of his fans, followed by cash reparations.

Until then, Elton, I don't wanna go on with you like that.

I think I'm gonna kill myself. I'm better off dead. But before I go, allow me to rewrite my own version of "Candle in the Wind."

Goodbye, Elton John,
It seems I never knew you before,
You had the gall to sell yourself
To that big-mouthed right wing bore.

Goodbye, Elton John,
From the young girl with her shovel all of gold,
Who longs to whack your brains out with it,
All because you played for Rush Limbaugh.

And it seems to me, you ruined your life
For that great big bag of wind,
Never knowing that we'd turn on you,
When the news came in.
How I wish you wouldn't have done this,
And that you'd shown more class.
But clearly you are nothing more
Than a dittoheaded ass.

Yes, clearly you are nothing more
Than a dittoheaded ass!

Commissarka Pinkie wrote: Goodbye, Elton John,
From the young girl with her shovel all of gold,
Who longs to whack your brains out with it,

This is slightly light in poetic rhythm but the imagery is outstanding. I'm giving it an "A+"
All I can say is "Ditto".

Pinkie - he is a fat duck... and so is Elton!

I got nothin...

Comrade Putout wrote:Pinkie - he is a fat duck... and so is Elton!

elton-john-rush1.jpg

Comrade Putout, after seing your glorious agitprop, I thought to myself that Limbaugh looks very much like a a duck outfitted Sir Elton when behind the so called Golden EIB Microphone ™ which I suspect is actually gold plated Hitler memorabilia... just sayin...

Comrade Buffoon - I suspect we have both made a new 'friend.'

Comrade Buffoon wrote:
Comrade Putout, after seing your glorious agitprop, I thought to myself that Limbaugh looks very much like a a duck outfitted Sir Elton when behind the so called Golden EIB Microphone ™ which I suspect is actually gold plated Hitler memorabilia... just sayin...

Comrade Putout,

Limbaugh's disapproving look combined with the glorious fellow traveler sipping from my skull has (and will for days) give me great happy type thoughts!

And now, Jim Norton's thoughts on the BP oil spill (naughty words warning)

Comrade Buffoon wrote:I got nothin...

eltonjohnrushlimbaughwedding.jpg

Well it is good to see that when it comes to being a leftist sellout

Papa Obama cost a lot more - Obama biggest recipient of BP cash

Neotrotsky wrote:

Comrade Buffoon wrote:I got nothin...

eltonjohnrushlimbaughwedding.jpg

Well it is good to see that when it comes to being a leftist sellout

Papa Obama cost a lot more - Obama biggest recipient of BP cash

Ah, but my dead Comrade Neotrotsky, you forget, when it goes to Dear Leader Obama, it goes to The People, the true owners of all value.

ThePeoplesComrade wrote:

Neotrotsky wrote:

Comrade Buffoon wrote:I got nothin...

eltonjohnrushlimbaughwedding.jpg

Well it is good to see that when it comes to being a leftist sellout

Papa Obama cost a lot more - Obama biggest recipient of BP cash

Ah, but my dead Comrade Neotrotsky, you forget, when it goes to Dear Leader Obama, it goes to The People, the true owners of all value.

Good point Peoples Comrade...

ThePeoplesComrade wrote:

Neotrotsky wrote:

Comrade Buffoon wrote:I got nothin...

eltonjohnrushlimbaughwedding.jpg

Well it is good to see that when it comes to being a leftist sellout

Papa Obama cost a lot more - Obama biggest recipient of BP cash

Ah, but my dead Comrade Neotrotsky, you forget, when it goes to Dear Leader Obama, it goes to The People, the true owners of all value.

Very true

Then let us hope that the progressive tax rates of Britain will take most of it for the people



(rumors of my death have been greatly exaggerated ;-) )

This is not good. I haven't seen Commissarka Pinkie this upset in quite awhile.
I hereby denounce Elton John and the entire Rush Limbaugh wedding party!
Now I'm going to take my leave while my skull's still intact.
Have a good evening Comrades.

Oh, must you go, Grigori? You're the only one who seems to understand my pain and trauma. What am I to do with all these insensitive loutish proles with stuff on their heads and over their heads and sticking out of their heads?

I denounce you all just as I denounce Elton John. But since none of you have CD collections for me to smash and burn, I'll simply have to whack you all over your heads with my shovel.

Except for ThePeoplesComrade. I'll just have to content myself with smashing that big hand of his. Then we'll see just how well he can play "Crocodile Rock" on the piano with only one hand--and his smaller one, at that.

Now, I'm going to lock myself in my room and never come out again.

Comrades,

I must confess that growing up at the end of an era where brown and yellow were considered a fetching color combination, I was nevertheless scarred by my environment and unable to accept Elton John due to his excessive eyewear. While the myriad forms certainly kept proles working for the Greater Good™, it stank of rank individuality. Accordingly, I took "The Last Train to Clarksville," until scoring enough cash to buy my first 45, a Boston hit (literal and figurative).

Commisarka Pinkie, Wow! That shovel really does hurt! Apologies for my loutish insensitivity, I should have tried harder at providing comfort. I was trying to help by applying shovel to Sir Eltons head but you needed more and I wasn't there to provide it.

I exile myself from the cube to return again tomorrow, hopefully more fuller of that sensitive stuff....

Comrade Pinkie?

*knock knock knock*

Hello?

*knock knock*

There a capitalist outside trying to sell Christian bibles to white heterosexual males while wearing a baby seal fur coat....

Pinkie?

*knock knock knock*

I have been of denouncement of the Elton John since day he was to be of so much laziness he could not even to write new song for the deadedness of Diana and stole the Marilyn Monroe song then to give it to the deadened princess. And then the Queen Mother to give him the hood of the knight for stealing? Ala zeg!

Commissarka, I to like your new and improved version of Capitalist and the Wind(bag).

And shame shame on others who to highjack thread of Commissarka. Shame.

Commissarka Pinkie wrote:

. . . Yes, clearly you are nothing more
Than a dittoheaded ass!

Comrade Pinkie,

I, too, denounce Elton John. He was supposed to be an artist of the peoples, and now, he is nothing but a whore with dittos printed all over his ass.

Oh my, Commissarka Pinkie is still locked in her room? Ok, I'll get her out.

Knock, knock, Commissarka?
I know you're hurting and we all feel your pain, but the struggle continues.
We need you Pinkie. You know this.
Still no answer..........
Ok, well I just happened by to bring you one of my eggs.
It's a nice one. It's got little pink flowers all over it.
I'll just leave it here on the table.
Rose Trellis Egg by Faberge
That should do it.

O'Brien wrote:There a capitalist outside trying to sell Christian bibles to white heterosexual males while wearing a baby seal fur coat....

Comrade O'Brien,

You need to acquire a copy of the song "Clubbin' Seals" by M.O.D. with the earnest refrain "I don't care what you like to do / I'd rather be clubbin' seals."

I believe it wraps up with as follows:

"When time for the bashin' comes
You know where I'll be
Killin' defenseless animals
Listen while I sing"

Who knew Sarah Palin was writing lyrics for '80s speed metal bands? Just like Hitler, if only her artistic talent had been recognized, there's no telling what the world would have been spared!

Grigori E.R. wrote:Ok, well I just happened by to bring you one of my eggs.
It's a nice one. It's got little pink flowers all over it.
I'll just leave it here on the table.
Rose Trellis Egg by Faberge

Comrade Grigori E.R.,Unless things have changed since the early 1990s (and there is a good chance they have), it used to be that at certain collectible trade fairs Russians would appear with Soviet and other "liberated" items that had museum tags attached to add an air of authenticity to product and price.While your egg is missing such a tag, I know you are a highly trustworthy and loyal Party functionary whose word is therefor sacrosanct.

(Door to Pinkie's room cracks open the width of an egg. Hand reaches out and snatches egg inside.)

Oh, Grigori! The pink flowers are absolutely darling! And as for you Tovarich, it just so happens the egg does have a tag attached to it. Here, I'll read it to you:

"This egg laid especially for you in Hong Kong by Red Rooster."

Well! While it's about time that frigging Rooster punched out a Faberge egg, I'm afraid you still have some 'splainin' to do, Grigori. For instance, since when did Faberge have a branch office in Hong Kong?

On the plus side, there is some chocolate inside the egg. I suppose I can replace the portrait of Empress Alexandra with one of me. I wouldn't mind having that tiara.

Speaking of which, Mrs. Al Czarweary, I couldn't agree with you more about Diana. She deserved an original song, not a rewrite of an ode to some slut who may have swapped spit and knocked boots with JFK. Is that so much to ask?

And as for you, O'Brien: Don't knock on my door unless you have something to give me--and it better not be something made in Hong Kong.

Sorry, comrades, but I'm afraid I still can't come out yet.

Pinkie - your denunciation has made it to the AOL News:

Helen Thomas Joins the Apology Chorus

By Steve Pendlebury
Editor

Indeed, as the old Elton John song says, sorry seems to be the hardest word for a lot of people. (One blogger is even demanding an apology from the pop star for performing at Rush Limbaugh's wedding reception over the weekend.)

2010 AOL Inc. All Rights Reserved.

I guess you can come out now.

PLEASE GROVEL PLEASE Commisarka Pinkie come out?


You look stunning in white by the way...

No, I can't come out. I'm not doing this for fame and fortune. I'm not doing this to get attention and make people look at me for 15 minutes, because people should be doing that all the time anyway.

I will be satisfied with nothing less than cash reparations. He should take the million he got from Rush, match it with another million of his own money, then fork it over.

Now, you all know what a good prog I am, so you know I'm not just being greedy. You know I'm not out to take whatever I can get from a pair of filthy rich old capitalists. You know I hate money. I hate everything about it. But it's the only thing that will make me feel better about this. I wish it weren't so, but that's the kind of world we're forced to live in.
You know how much I hate rich people. I hate the way they live. I hate the way I live when I have to be around them, and you have no idea how much courage and sacrifice it takes for me to do so.

Unfortunately, my commitment to making an issue out of everything and raising awareness of how much I care about those issues, requires me to associate with rich people all the time so I can get them to donate to the Commissarka Pinkie Awareness Foundation, a non-profit tax exempt organization made possible with funds from Obama's stimulus, and established to raise awareness of all the important issues of the day.

Thanks to Obama's generous stimulus, last year the Commissarka Pinkie Awareness Foundation was able to create 50 new jobs making awareness ribbons and wristbands. Another two million dollars would allow us to hire 5 more people.

So you see, as I said, I'm not doing this for me. I'm doing this for those 5 people out there who are hurting and need jobs. Don't you agree it's worth it for me to stay in my room until then?

Comrade Buffoon - more enhancement.

Chedoh looks stunning in Pinkie's hovel... he is at an interesting location (height) for what activity one might wonder?

OBAMUGABE! Glorious! Simply glorious!

For this you have been named the latest recipient of Pinkie's prestigious Beet of the Week Award:

And for your mother, a bumpersticker for her car: Additionally, as part of our new "Beet of the Week Gives Back" program, a donation shall be made in your name, and from your bank account, to the Commissarka Pinkie Awareness Foundation.

As for Comrade Buffoon and Putout, allow me to reacquaint you two with the business end of my shovel:

WHACK! WHACK!

Pinkie

I am... Speechless.

I have longed for this, dreamt about this for so long. I can't believe it...

Where's that damn Kleenex box!

I'm saddened for you Pinkie. However, destroying those records is probably a good thing. You now don't have what others never did.

I always thought Sir Elton was on our side. I suppose greed is his problem though.

Nice Obamugabe. Congratulations. Let see........ Empress Pinkie? Maybe Tsarina Pinkie?

Tsarina Pinkie,
That Egg I left on the table was the real deal. I was there when the Tsar gave it to Alexandra. It's been in my private collection for years. Someone or something replaced it with that fake from Hong Kong. I knew I shouldn't have left it there.


We have an egg thief among us and don't hand me any of that re-distribution stuff. That was Tsarina Pinkie's EGG!

First:

Obamugabe, your Beet of the Week award is truly deserved! But be wary comrade... one week you're Beet of the Week, the next you're crouched in the corner nursing a head wound.

Second:

Comrade Putout, In 1956 Khrushchev turned his back on the people to save his own skin by declaring approval of Stalin's glorious party purges to retain (temporarily) his standing in the party. NOTE: May be factually incorrect, I don't remember.

I fear I must follow his lead and formally denounce you for committing the exact same crime I commited and state: "through this ideological struggle, some must fall on the sword... so long as its not me"

Third:

Commisarka Pinkie... you need your car washed?

Comrade Buffoon wrote:
But be wary comrade... one week you're Beet of the Week, the next you're crouched in the corner nursing a head wound.

Comrade Buffoon

Jealousy makes you nasty. Face it, this week I am more equal than you!

Na-Na-Nana-Na!

Amandla

Obamugabe.

Awww Pinkie, come on out. If you want money I just came into a boodle. When that old geezer Rasputin had his back turned I snatched one his "precious" artsy-fartsy eggs and replaced it with a cheap Hong Kong knock-off. He'll never know the difference (tee hee).

If he does notice I'll just blame it on Buffoon, he's notorious for commandeering the wealth of others.

I sold it on ebay and got a whopping $50 for it. It's all yours if you just come out. I'll even buy you a box of Godiva chocolates. Whaddya say?

(While you think about it, I guess I better read the other comments in this thread)

Pinkie, if you come out, I'll scooch over and let you soak your feet in my jar again. Remember that magical night in Caracas? We spent all day at the stadium in 100 degree heat and 100% humidity and screamed ourselves hoarse denouncing capitalism. Then on the bus-ride back to the university dorm rooms that the students had spontaneously and voluntarily vacated so all us out of towners would have a place to sleep you slipped off your boots and slid your proli-toes in beside me. That was a magic moment. Then Sean Penn barfed in the aisle and threatened the driver with a shotgun if he didn't help strap his roawboat on the roof. That was a night with truth, and beauty, and justice....

Cripes. There he goes again.

https://apnews.myway.com/article/20100618/D9GDIMQ81.html

TEL AVIV, Israel (AP) - A concert by Elton John has given Israelis a boost after a string of cancellations by other world-famous artists.
The British rocker performed late Thursday in front of a screaming crowd of nearly 50,000 fans at a Tel Aviv stadium.
John, who wore blue-tinted sunglasses, told the audience those cancellations "ain't gonna stop me from playing here, baby."
Recent cancellations by the Pixies and Elvis Costello, who cited Israeli government policies, have added to Israel's growing sense of isolation.
John swiped at those artists, saying, "We do not cherry-pick our consciences," before hitting the opening chords of his 1972 hit "Crocodile Rock."

Where does it end, comrades? What next?


Will we see him firing up the teabagger mobs—as if they need it—with a little “Philadelphia Freedom” at their next shoot-'em-up Nazi rally?


Or maybe he'll give a private performance at the Vatican for the Pope Benedict, who'll be serenaded with “Bennie and the Jets”?


How about a concert tour of Arizona? Forget “Border Song”, that's too obvious and totally against the intolerant, hateful agenda he's clearly now pursuing. He'll have an open air stage right there on the border to sing “Grow Some Funk of Your Own”—a racist song that wrongly portrays Mexicans as violent toward non-Mexicans.


Next he'll be saying Bush was the bestest president ever, and joining the traitors Olbermann and Matthews in criticizing Obama's first Oval Office speech.


Mind you, my parents warned me about Elton John. They told me he was evil and corrupt and degenerate, a devil worshiper, and that listening to his records would only prompt me to engage in all kinds of wicked, immoral, criminal behavior.


It only took about thirty-five years, but I think I'm finally starting to figure out what they meant. And now I'm going to lock myself back in my room and stay there until one of you can give me one good reason to come out again.

Forgive me, Oh Pink one, but early on, for reasons that escape me now, I decided to agree with your parents - at least on the degenerate part.
But even the best of comrades in the entertainment business must call attention to themselves. In fact some of my favorites presented quite an image.

How many disappointments can one handle? As if Alice Cooper's betrayal was not enough!

INTERVIEWER: A lot of people in rock and roll, it's very fashionable to despise George W. Bush. That's not a view you subscribe to, is it?

ALICE COOPER: Well, I think if you're in a war, you don't want a poodle in there, you want a pit bull. I don't think that you want a guy in there going, "Gee, I don't know. Maybe. Could be." I think you want a guy in there who's either going to win it or lose it.

INTERVIEWER: Are you referring to Iraq or the broader war against al-Qaeda?

ALICE COOPER: I just think that that war's going to go on for a long time, whoever is the President. If it would have been Kerry, he would have been just as knee deep in it. I don't think Bush got us into that war. I think that started 9/11 and I think somebody had to take it from there.

INTERVIEWER: I think a lot of people are surprised to learn that you're a Christian, they're surprised to learn you vote George W. Bush, but they're absolutely shocked to discover you're a keen golfer.

ALICE COOPER: That's the biggest shocker, I think. And that I'm a pretty good cook.

Apparently, Elton John is no better than Alice Cooper! The both have sneaked into stardom by duping the gullible liberal establishment that they are counter-culture radicals. The both have been allowed to have long-lasting careers by the Politburo, and how are they paying back the favor? By going against the grain? What next, performing on 4th of July in Arizona?

They've forgotten who made them, so we need to remind them sternly about their place. From now on, no rock-n-roll career is safe! Strict discipline must be enforced. All careers are subject to review by the Board and extensions granted only upon presenting proof of compliance in the form of appropriate statements to the media, donations to and concerts for progressive candidates, bashing counter-revolutionaries, and content of their songs that serves to undermine the capitalist society and the Western civilization as a whole.

This approach is proven to have worked in Hollywood, which for decades has benefited from the enforced ideological purity of progressivism. The musical industry is not far behind; let's not allow traitors like John and Cooper darken the radiant hegemony of approved progressive thought and the uniform compliance with established rules for radicals.

I've heard that some Progs reach that precarious age when they (shudder) grow up.

Elton John, my favorite solo artist of all-time.