In his first Executive Order of his second term, Comrade Party Chairman and President Barack Barackovich Obama ordered the church services he was attended to be concluded quickly, so that he could return to the White Fortress to continue his struggle for implementation of Socialist Progressivism in the USSA.
Comrade B. B. Obama issued the decree via Twitter, so that citizens could see his enthusiasm both for showing religious tolerance (by attending a service) and his desire to return to his heroic struggle against Imperialistic and decadent Capitalism
Comrade President's Twitter directive, “Let’s go,” was quickly responded to by the senior male priestess of St. John’s Episcopal Church, a historical facility under the authority of the Episcopal Church of the USSA, one of the most Progressive religious entities the Party recognizes as a legitimate enterprise.
In roughly ten minutes, the dismissal was offered and the President, who brought his family to show his care and concern for young people and the plight of oppressed womyn throughout the world, returned quickly to the White Fortress.
Citizens should be comforted to know that not even the highly-entertaining nature of Episcopalian worship was enough to distract our Comrade President from his duties, and that he was carefully monitoring the State via his Twitter feed. We advise all citizens to use their Party-authorized Obamaphones during such services to continue to receive Party directives and instructions, except when watching Collective Broadcasting Services programming.
Patriotic citizens monitor Twitter for Executive Orders! No religious services can stand in the way of progress!
Faithfully submitted to the Collective of the People’s Cube,
"We shall unmask the anti-Soviet conspiracies by capitalists and the church! Long live the wold-wide proletarian revolution!" (1932)
Imperialism and religion: "The groundwork for imperialist oppression is laid by the preachers and missionaries with the help of the poisonous opiate that is religion."
Labels on the canisters: "Poisonous gas" and "Religious opiate."
Here's an enhanced fragment: