Feminists burn $20 bills to 'end male dominance in currency'

TIMES SQUARE, NEW YORK CITY- The feminist group "Radical Feminists of America" rallied in Times Square today to protest "False male dominance on American currency" by burning $100,000 in twenty dollar bills throughout the day.

Feminist activists were seen burning single bills and even handfuls of them at a time, while spitting at male passers by who walked by the scene on their daily routine. There have been several outbreaks of fighting between the feminists and some homeless men who attempted to salvage the burning cash from burn-buckets and the hands of protesters.

The protest was intended to popularize the long-standing idea of removing Andrew Jackson from the twenty dollar bill in favor of a historical feminist figure, Harriet Tubman, a 19th century abolitionist. However, instead of succeeding in raising awareness about the feminist goals, the cash-burning protest seemed to have sent the wrong message, sparking anger and confusion among the public and donors to feminist organizations.

The money was received through donations from wealthy individuals who wished to support the group's cause but were not informed about how the money was going to be used. Contributors were outraged when they saw their donations go up in flames.

Crowds of onlookers watched in disbelief as hundreds of dollars at a time were being tossed into flames, with the protesters shouting in unison, "Female yell!"

Big Red, the leader of the group, screamed into her megaphone while waving a large wad of twenties in her other hand. "Look in your purses, sisters, and you will see that there is not one bill that bears the face of a female, not one!"

At one point Big Red was seen removing her bra from under the shirt, using it to wrap up the large lump of cash in her hand, and tossing it into the flames of the closest burn-bucket at her feet.

"Check your male privilege," she continued to yell at the gathered crowd. "The days of chauvinism and female oppression are at an end! No longer will we allow any male to be worshiped and raised in social standing just because they have a horrific weapon of domination dangling from between their legs!"

With a loud high-pitched roar, the protesters took a break from burning the money and began to burn their bras, designer shoes, clutches, and other items of traditional female clothing.

Around 2:00pm, as the feminists burned the last twenty dollar bill, their anger turned onto the crowd. Eyewitnesses saw activists tear down a stand erected by the Boy Scouts of America, violently ripping sashes and hats off of the terrified boys before burning those items as well. Still not satisfied, they took the money raised by the scouts throughout the day and tossed it into the flames along with their burning uniforms, as Big Red shouted into the megaphone, "You're just another elitist male entity that needs to be destroyed."

Bob Turman, the scout leader, later spoke about the incident to reporters. "We were the only ones with a permit to hold an event in the square that day," he complained. "We spent months in preparation for our fundraiser in support of local shelters for abused women. Now all that money is gone, my scouts have lost parts of their uniforms, and they'll probably be traumatized for life. They're not old enough to understand even if I were to explain to them what happened, and I'm not sure I fully understand it myself. One thing I know, these boys may have a deep-seated fear of women for the rest of their lives."

Police arrived on the scene shortly, responding to several 911 calls, but made no arrests.
 

Yeah, well, Comrade Chedoh,

We burned our bras way back in the day. Look where that got us!

Nowhere.Talk about a way to devalue our currency! Ha! It's in the bag!
 

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Chedoh - Ivan's image is on the three dollar bill!
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I wonder whose hand is holding that match?!
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Administration offers response to feminazis feministas feminists clamoring for equality:



 

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Pamalinsky obviously knows what she is talking about because she

Yeah, well, Comrade Chedoh,

We burned our bras way back in the day. Look where that got us!

Nowhere. Talk about a way to devalue our currency! Ha! It's in the bag!.
Pammie - all those bras being burnt and not a boob in sight...

well, except for the boob with The People's Cube Underpants™!
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.
.

 

Comrade Putout

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Pamalinsky obviously knows what she is talking about because she

.tpc-underwear.png.


HA! That's hilarious. I may have to order those from Store #86, they are in stock, right?
 

Pamalinsky

Yeah, well, Comrade Chedoh,

We burned our bras way back in the day. Look where that got us!

Nowhere.Talk about a way to devalue our currency! Ha! It's in the bag!

Don't be so down, Comrade! Progress has many directions! But I would be more worried about the pollutants those burning bras put into our atmosphere.

I'm sure Comrade Bill Clinton would be very enthusiastic in fining bra smoke polluters appropriately. The larger the bra size the larger the fine. It's only fair ™.
 

Comrade Putout

.

Pamalinsky obviously knows what she is talking about because she

Yeah, well, Comrade Chedoh,

We burned our bras way back in the day. Look where that got us!

Nowhere. Talk about a way to devalue our currency! Ha! It's in the bag!.
Pammie - all those bras being burnt and not a boob in sight...

well, except for the boob with The People's Cube Underpants™!
.
.tpc-underwear.png.ivan-burns-his-bolder-holder-as-well.jpg
Good one! Comrade Putout.

Yes, these babes are rebelliously burning their bras, yet still wearing their backup bras. Well, I am ashamed to be a Feminist™, as you have clearly portrayed my feelings in this revealing shot. I, totally bra-less was embarrassed to be there.

However, and particularly notable, is the dude in charge of the fire.

What else could you expect when a guy like this is in charge?

The same ol’ same ol’.
 

Kamrade Chedoh, the choice of the hero feminist to grace the new 20 ruble is clear!



The only issue, dear kamrades, is to figure out how to overcome severe eye strain...
 

I did not wish to see that!
 

Kommissar Uberdave

Is that Comrade O'Donnell?
 

Chedoh

Kommissar Uberdave

Is that Comrade O'Donnell?
That, Kamrades, is dear departed komrade Andrea Dworkin, Hero of the Great Womyn's Revolution!
 

Pamalinsky

Yeah, well, Comrade Chedoh,

We burned our bras way back in the day. Look where that got us!

Nowhere.Talk about a way to devalue our currency! Ha! It's in the bag!

Comrade Pamalinsky, if my knowledge in the KKKapitalist system is Korrekt, wouldn't the burning of twenties actually INCREASE the value of currency by a small bit? I know the state prints tirelessly to bring the value down every day, but if we could get enough people to burn their money, that would actually INCREASE the value of the currency and make the money more valuable. This would help the state dominate and bring Revolution to the unwashed masses and nations of the world, and even spread Revolution to other planets!

Comrades! Burn your money and help your country! Remember the acronym BMBM: Burn Money, Better Motherland. Comrade UltraSuperMegaKomissar Obama practices this every day, why aren't you practicing it?
 

Lev Termen

I did not wish to see that!
Tovarisch Lev Termen! Do not allow Hate Think ™ lull you into accepting such poisonous thought concepts as: "beauty is only skin deep but ugly goes all the way to the bone."But, take heart, I have adjusted dear departed kamrade Dworkin's image for our new 20 ruble note to a newer truth!


 

Kommissar Uberdave

Lev Termen

I did not wish to see that!
Tovarisch Lev Termen! Do not allow Hate Think ™ lull you into accepting such poisonous thought concepts as: "beauty is only skin deep but ugly goes all the way to the bone."

I fear you have misconstrued my meaning, Kommissar. What I had wished for to see was a flying rainbow unicorn farting jalapeno cheeseburgers with a side order of Tequila Don Julio Anejo and Emma Peel for dessert, in the glorious world of Sometime Next Week If Not Even Later. I was merely remarking that the image in question was not what I had wished for.

Alles klar, Herr Kommissar?
 

Lev Termen

Kommissar Uberdave

Lev Termen

I did not wish to see that!
Tovarisch Lev Termen! Do not allow Hate Think ™ lull you into accepting such poisonous thought concepts as: "beauty is only skin deep but ugly goes all the way to the bone."

I fear you have misconstrued my meaning, Kommissar. What I had wished for to see was a flying rainbow unicorn farting jalapeno cheeseburgers with a side order of Tequila Don Julio Anejo and Emma Peel for dessert, in the glorious world of Sometime Next Week If Not Even Later. I was merely remarking that the image in question was not what I had wished for.

Alles klar, Herr Kommissar?
Bwaahaahaa!Excellent rejoinder, Comrade Lev. Excellent! Most equal killer humor!
 

Comrade Stierlitz

Pamalinsky

Yeah, well, Comrade Chedoh,

We burned our bras way back in the day. Look where that got us!

Nowhere.Talk about a way to devalue our currency! Ha! It's in the bag!

Comrade Pamalinsky, if my knowledge in the KKKapitalist system is Korrekt, wouldn't the burning of twenties actually INCREASE the value of currency by a small bit? I know the state prints tirelessly to bring the value down every day, but if we could get enough people to burn their money, that would actually INCREASE the value of the currency and make the money more valuable. This would help the state dominate and bring Revolution to the unwashed masses and nations of the world, and even spread Revolution to other planets!

Comrades! Burn your money and help your country! Remember the acronym BMBM: Burn Money, Better Motherland. Comrade UltraSuperMegaKomissar Obama practices this every day, why aren't you practicing it?
The burning of bras equivocates to the burning of money. The solution: Print more money and make more bras. That's how it's done in the world of "next Tuesday™.
 

Lev Termen

Kommissar Uberdave

Lev Termen

I did not wish to see that!
Tovarisch Lev Termen! Do not allow Hate Think ™ lull you into accepting such poisonous thought concepts as: "beauty is only skin deep but ugly goes all the way to the bone."

I fear you have misconstrued my meaning, Kommissar. What I had wished for to see was a flying rainbow unicorn farting jalapeno cheeseburgers with a side order of Tequila Don Julio Anejo and Emma Peel for dessert, in the glorious world of Sometime Next Week If Not Even Later. I was merely remarking that the image in question was not what I had wished for.

Alles klar, Herr Kommissar?
Alles klar Tovarisch Lev Termen. One might note that the Hate Think ™ Stasi could pay you a midnight visit to question you on the concept of "flying rainbow unicorn farting jalapeno cheeseburgers with a side order of Tequila Don Julio Anejo and Emma Peel for dessert." Their methods of interrogation are much more human these days:
 

Chedoh was involved in a little dissembling when he

HA! That's hilarious. I may have to order those from Store #86, they are in stock, right?
.
Yes Chedoh they might be in stock... perhaps the next time you model them live in Store #86 you can purchase redistribute a pair!
.





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Chedoh - the next time you are in the fields you might want to think about retaining a medium sized beet for shall we say 'personal enhancement' of your nether regions!?

Kommissar Uberdave - a private message awaits you!
 

Kommissar Uberdave

One might note that the Hate Think ™ Stasi could pay you a midnight visit to question you on the concept of "flying rainbow unicorn farting jalapeno cheeseburgers with a side order of Tequila Don Julio Anejo and Emma Peel for dessert." Their methods of interrogation are much more human these days:

Well, a humble kulak eating his daily ration of beet paste can but wish for a better world; it is, indeed, encouraged by the State.

Diana Rigg in a leather catsuit. Now there's a Dame.
 

Lev Termen

Kommissar Uberdave

One might note that the Hate Think ™ Stasi could pay you a midnight visit to question you on the concept of "flying rainbow unicorn farting jalapeno cheeseburgers with a side order of Tequila Don Julio Anejo and Emma Peel for dessert." Their methods of interrogation are much more human these days:

Well, a humble kulak eating his daily ration of beet paste can but wish for a better world; it is, indeed, encouraged by the State.

Diana Rigg in a leather catsuit. Now there's a Dame.
Of course, Tovarisch Lev Termen! (Be sure to bear that in mind when the Ministry of Thought comes to call):


 

Comrade Putout

Chedoh was involved in a little dissembling when he

HA! That's hilarious. I may have to order those from Store #86, they are in stock, right?
.
Yes Chedoh they might be in stock... perhaps the next time you model them live in Store #86 you can purchase redistribute a pair!
.
The attachment tpc-drawers.jpg is no longer available

The attachment chedoh-too-big-to-fail.png is no longer available
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Chedoh - the next time you are in the fields you might want to think about retaining a medium sized beet for shall we say 'personal enhancement' of your nether regions!?

Kommissar Uberdave - a private message awaits you!
Yeah, that's it! French Fried Phallic Fare! It's a hit in Europe, especially Portugal!


As you can see, they come in a variety of sizes so as not to offend anyone.
 

Something to keep Tovarisch Lev Termen's mind calm at time of interrogation:


 

Kommissar Uberdave

Something to keep Tovarisch Lev Termen's mind calm at time of interrogation:



*Phew* I might need to take this down to the State Printing Bureau. I'm sure there's some way the Party can use this...
 

Have any of my Comrades noticed that most feminists look like men? I've always said if I was going to be with a woman, I'd want one that looks like a woman!
 

Life imitates the People's Cube:

Feminists upset over statue of man and woman talking

Scene: You're a woman, sitting on a bench reading a book. Your male friend sees you on the quad and comes over to say hello and talk. You put down your book, lean back against the bench and smile. He doesn't sit next to you; instead, he puts his foot on the bench and leans over his knee.

So sexist, right?

That scene is depicted in a statue at the University of the Incarnate Word in San Antonio, Texas, and despite no sign of distress or physical assertion, some women have decided it is a statue of "mansplaining" — a term used to describe men condescendingly explaining something to a woman.

Seriously. Here's the actual statue and the claim of misogyny:



 

Thankfully I kept all those Dinar's under the mattress while Yugoslavia was collapsing. I had a feeling they'd be worth something someday.
 

Komrades: The slutski feminist, man hating, smelly, hairy lesbians should get their own currency. I propose a Three Dollar bill with Rosy O'Donnell's nekkid picture on it.