| We're all familiar with the "Islamic Rage Boy," but recently, Comrade Putout (at ThePeoplesCube.Com) discovered the "Islamic Rage Boys," and in the process she discovered quite a number of things that "enrage" them, so she posted the results of her research at ThePeoplesCube on December 1, 2012, entitled "What Are These Guys Sniveling About"?. |
Noticing that such Middle-Ages Hyper-Enragement-Syndrome (MAES) bears a striking similarity to another syndrome, the Progressive Enragement Syndrome (PES, which is similar to PMS), KOOK (a comrade of Comrade Putout), launched his own research into PES, as a result of which he discovered three of leading sufferers from the Progressive Enragement syndrome: The Progressive-Rage Boys otherwise known separately (when becoming enraged separately rather than Collectively) as Al Gore (a.k.a., "Climate Rage Boy"), Barack Obama (a.k.a. "Obamist Rage Boy") and Michael Bloomberg (a.k.a. "Nanny Rage Boy").
To view a brief, gif-animation of the evolutionary history of these manifestations of Rage, click the image below.
As a public service, KOOK hereby publishes (commencing immediately below) the shocking results of his research: .
We the People Trumping Ye the People:
As shown above, Al Gore (Climate Rage Boy) is outraged that the drafter's of our Constitution misspelled the intended salutation "Ye the People" from the Government and thereby ignorantly converted it into a revolutionary declaration directed at the Government. Barak Obama (Obamist Rage Boy) is enraged that the drafters of the Fifth Amendment in our Constitution's Bill of Rights guaranteeing "Life, Liberty [and] property" forgot to include "redistribution of" as a prepositional phrase with "property" as its object. Michael Bloomberg (Nanny Rage Boy) is enraged that the Second Amendment misspelled the Right to Bear "Alms."
As shown above, Al Gore (Climate Rage Boy) is enraged that in the United States, electricity is WAY TOO CHEAP. Barack Obama is enraged by how unfair it is that the "top 2 %" STILL use electricity at night when everyone else is dutifully sleeping during that part of the day (i.e., nighttime) when GAIA intended for humans to sleep rather than wasting energy by using electricity. Michael Bloomberg (Nanny Rage Boy) takes a more practical view by stressing that people who want to use electricity at night should be required to ride bicycles to and from work to offset their decadence in using electricity at night. He does, however, favor allowing pedaling-generated electricity on such bicycles to enable those who work at night to be able to see how to ride to and from work..
Bacon Bikins & Whipped-Cream Bikinis:
As shown above, Al Gore (Climate Rage Boy), is enraged by bacon bikinis because pigs must be raised on a large scale to satisfy men's nearly universal craving for their wives/girl-friends to wear edible, bacon bikinis. How do pigs contribute to "Global Warming"? They compete with cows in methane-flatulence per pound, but their greatest danger to GAIA is that pig-farts are so hot. Barack Obama (Obamist Rage Boy) objects not to bacon bikinis or even whipped-cream bikinis but rather deems it unfair for any women to wear bikinis because "only the top 2 % have the kind of figures that make them look good (to men) in bikinis," and thus, to be "fair" to the other 98% of women (including the more recent species of womyn), the bikini should be banned for purposes of fairness. Michael Bloomberg, on the other hand, has no objection to whipped-cream bikinis as long as men avoid eating the whipped cream in order to avoid excessive caloric intake. However, a recent Gallup survey indicates that an overwhelming percentage of whipped-cream-bikini-wearing women prefer husbands or boyfriends who avoid the fattening effects of eating whipped cream by always engaging immediately thereafter in a prolonged period of non-high-impact, rhythmic exercise to burn-off the high-caloric content of ingested whipped cream.
Martinez-Rubio or Rubio-Martinez:
.As shown above, both New Mexico Governor Susana Martinez and Florida Senator Marco Rubio, induce enragement among Al Gore (Climate Rage Boy), Barack Obama (Obamist Rage Boy) and Michael Bloomberg (Nanny Rage Boy) out of fear of soon hearing "Si, se puede" from throngs gathering to hear them speak.
The Peoples Cube Not Shrugging Prof-Off:
.Although ThePeoplesCube.Com normally extols the wondrous virtues of collectivism, progressivism, liberalism, political correctness, Marxism, Leninism, Stalinism, Group-Think, and that old stand-by "Communism," it sometimes lapses into a form of intellectual backsliding know in the land of The People's Cube as "Prog-Off" a.k.a., the kind of thinking and expression more suitable for those who inhabit the Ghulag or are undergoing (or perhaps in need of) "re-education." Thus, although Comrades Al Gore (Climate Rage Boy), Barack Obama (Obamist Rage Boy) and Michael Boomberg (Nanny Rage Boy) normally derive ideologically orgasmic pleasure from the cutting-edge collectivist philosophy extolled in the land of the Cube, they quickly become quite enraged whenever non-group-think, un-progressive ideas, images or thoughts appear at the Cube as "Prof-Off" content. Unlike Atlas, The Peoples Cube will not "shrug" in its Prog-Off duties to support the Earth in general and Liberty in particular.
Evolution of Womyn Continues Lagging Behind Evolution of Women:
As shown above,, it both strikes fear into the hearts of, and sparks enragement in the minds of, Al Gore (Climate Rage Boy), Barack Obama (Obamist Rage Boy), Michael Bloomberg (Nanny Rage Boy) and all other progressives that the evolution of progressive womyn such as Helen Thomas (Auntie Semitic), Nancy Pelosi (Hack-in-the-Box), Debbie Wasserman-Schultz (Wasserman Test), Hillary Rodham Clinton (Bubba's Doormat), Sandra Fluke (rhymes -- she says -- with F_ck not Puke but incentivizes the latter rather than the former), etc., etc., etc., is lagging behind the rapidly advancing evolution of women favoring limited-government, liberty and a strong foreign policy founded on recognition of American exceptionalism, such as Susana Martinez, Sarah Palin, Kelly Ayotte, Nikki Haley, Kristi Noem, Marsha Blackburn, etc., etc., etc..
Lady Justice Balancing the Scales of Justice:
As shown above, few things spark rage more quickly Al Gore (Climate Rage Boy), Barack Obama (Obamist Rage Boy) and Michael Bloomberg (Nanny Rage Boy) that those occasions on which Lady Liberty refuses to place a thumb on the scales of justice in order to tip the balance in favor of progressively favored groups or causes.
Complex Arithmetic (a.k.a. Advanced Mathematics) :
As shown above, complex arithmetic or advanced mathematics virtually always induce instantaneous enragement in Al Gore (Climate Rage Boy) whenever he's confronted with hard-science regarding his Anthropogenic Global Warming (AGW) Theory, in Barack Obama (Obamist Rage Boy) whenever he's confronted with complex math such as recognizing that the "Bush-43 Deficit" = $4 Trillion in deficits over 8 years averaging Half-a-Trillion per Year is a deficit-accumulation rate lower than one-third the deficit-accumulation rate of "Obama-44" = $7 Trillion in deficits over his first 4 years averaging $1.7 Trillion per year.
Science Removes Fig-Leaf from Anthropogenic Global Warming Theology:
As shown above, the latest un-rigged science (see also Whittle's video) removes the last fig-leaf from the Anthropogenic Global Warming (AGW) Theology masquerading as a "virtually universal scientific consensus" in describing what has, in effect, been the centuries long recovery of Earth's climate from the Mini-Ice-Age, which began circa 1,300 A.D. and from which the climate began slowly recovering in the early 1800's and continued into the 20th Century. Few things enrage Al Gore (Climate Rage Boy), Barack Obama (Obamist Rage Boy), Michael Bloomberg (Nanny Rage Boy) and other Progressives more than revelations of real science contradicting the AGW Theology, whose advocates re-named it "Climate Change" (after Hurricane Katrina, at which time they predicted that human activity had harmed Earth's climate so much that Katrina would be the first of many Category 5 Hurricanes that would thereafter strike the Gulf states and East Coast of the United States with increasing regularity). Fortunately for us, and unfortunately for believers in their re-named Anthropogenic "Climate Change" Theology, our post-Katrina climate has been better than our pre-Katrina climate. Whenever there's severe coldness (such as the Blizzards of 2010 and coldest-Alaskan-winter-in-40-years in 2012), these ACC (AGW) Theologists call it "just weather," but whenever there's severe heat, these Theologists call it "Climate Change." By another name, this type of theory is "heads we win, tails you lose."
Dreading Scott, Runaway:
As shown above, few things are dreaded more by Al Gore (Climate Rage Boy), Barack Obama (Obamist Rage Boy), Michael Bloomberg (Nanny Rage Boy) and other Progressives than a Runaway such as the Dreaded Scott of South Carolina. At this writing, it is unclear whom Nikki Haley will appoint to succeed South Carolina Senator Jim DeMint, but KOOK earnestly hopes she will appoint Tim Scott, a current Republican member of the U.S. House from South Carolina. No one who's ever listened to Scott can doubt that if she were to appoint him to the Senate, he would become on of the most enlightened and articulate advocates of liberty and strong defense to ever serve in the Senate. He will continue as a rising star in the limited-government political firmament.
Strategic Bumper Sticker on a Ford:
As shown above, what Al Gore (Climate Rage Boy), Barack Obama (Obamist Rage Boy) and Michael Bloomberg (Nanny Rage Boy) fear most is the risk that in the end-of-2012 "negotiations" to avoid the "fiscal cliff," the Republicans will actually figure-out that Obama's strategy is to sucker them into supporting at least some aspect of his "balanced" plan to raise taxes on the "rich" and to increase (while claiming to decrease) spending commencing in 2013 so that in 2014 he can tout their "support" for raising taxes and demonize them for whatever else they may "oppose" in 2013. If the Republicans were to figure this out before the end of 2012, then they would simply vote "present" to remove all obstacles to Obama getting what he says he wants regarding taxing and spending, in which case Obama (and the Democrats in the House and Senate) will OWN the disaster we'll be undergoing in 2014, which will afford the voters one last chance to acquire a veto-proof limited-government majority in the Senate and a veto-proof limited-government majority in the House in order to reverse as much of Obamism as possible as quickly as possible to save America from the oblivion that will be her destiny if the Progressives continue to remain in power.
Entertaining Bumper Sticker on a Ford:
As shown above, it enrages Al Gore (Climate Rage Boy), Barack Obama (Obamist Rage Boy) and Michael Bloomberg (Nanny Rage Boy) to contemplate the risks that advocates of limited government may actually figure out how to capture the attention of the youthful voters who voted for Obama by swallowing (hook, line and sinker) his class-warfare (hackneyed Marxist philosophy) rhetoric out of economic and political ignorance rather than actual stupidity. Perhaps it will dawn on increasing numbers of such youthful ignoramuses that we should admire the makers more than the pretenders.
Freedom Beats Freedumb.
As shown above, it enrages Al Gore (Climate Rage Boy), Barack Obama (Obamist Rage Boy) and Michael Bloomberg (Nanny Rage Boy) when intellectually acute advocates of limited-government, liberty, and a strong foreign policy founded on a recognition of American Exceptionalism figure out clever ways to illustrate to young voters the difference between Freedom and Freedumb, for the latter of which Sandra Fluke (rhymes -- she says -- with F_ck not Puke but incentivizes the latter rather than the former) became emblematic in the 2012 election in standing for claims of entitlement to "freebies" from the government (such as rubbers and pills) , and for the former of which Anne Coulter is emblematic, such as the fundamental freedom of self-defense and the right to own, possess and bear arms to protect such freedom.
The Naked Political Truth:
As shown above, it what most enrages and most strikes political fear in the hearts of Al Gore (Climate Rage Boy), Barack Obama (Obamist Rage Boy), Michael Bloomberg (Nanny Rage Boy) and other Progressives is that Ann Coulter and other intellectually acute advocates of limited government, liberty and a strong foreign policy founded on recognition of American Exceptionalism will learn to actually capture the attention of ordinary voters who are not political junkies to enable them to actually learn the Naked Truth about politics in general and about Progressivism in particular. .
Photoshop-It-Yourself Form #1:
Photoshop-It-Yourself Form #2:
|..... but recently, Comrade Putout (at ThePeoplesCube.Com) discovered the "Islamic Rage Boys," and in the process she discovered quite a number of things that "enrage" them, so she posted the results of her research at ThePeoplesCube on December 1, 2012, entitled "What Are These Guys Sniveling About"?.|
|R.O.C.K. in the USSA||19||4238|
|R.O.C.K. in the USSA||8||2799|
|R.O.C.K. in the USSA||22||2088|
Users browsing this forum: Google [Bot], Yahoo [Bot] and 35 guests
Rubiks & Rubik’s Cube ® used by special individual permission of Seven Town Ltd.
John Kasich self-identifies as GOP primary winner, demands access to White House bathroom
Upcoming Trump/Kelly interview on FoxNews sponsored by 'Let's Make a Deal' and 'The Price is Right'
News from 2017: once the evacuation of Lena Dunham and 90% of other Hollywood celebrities to Canada is confirmed, Trump resigns from presidency: "My work here is done"
Non-presidential candidate Paul Ryan pledges not to run for president in new non-presidential non-ad campaign
Trump suggests creating 'Muslim database'; Obama symbolically protests by shredding White House guest logs beginning 2009
National Enquirer: John Kasich's real dad was the milkman, not mailman
National Enquirer: Bound delegates from Colorado, Wyoming found in Ted Cruz’s basement
Iran breaks its pinky-swear promise not to support terrorism; US State Department vows rock-paper-scissors strategic response
Women across the country cheer as racist Democrat president on $20 bill is replaced by black pro-gun Republican
Federal Reserve solves budget crisis by writing itself a 20-trillion-dollar check
Widows, orphans claim responsibility for Brussels airport bombing
Susan Sarandon: "I don't vote with my vagina." Voters in line behind her still suspicious, use hand sanitizer
Campaign memo typo causes Hillary to court 'New Black Panties' vote
New Hampshire votes for socialist Sanders, changes state motto to "Live FOR Free or Die"
Martin O'Malley drops out of race after Iowa Caucus; nation shocked with revelation he has been running for president
Hillary campaign denies accusations of smoking-gun evidence in her emails, claims they contain only smoking-circumstantial-gun evidence
In effort to contol wild passions for violent jihad, White House urges gun owners to keep their firearms covered in gun burkas
TV horror live: A Charlie Brown Christmas gets shot up on air by Mohammed cartoons
Russia's trend to sign bombs dropped on ISIS with "This is for Paris" found response in Obama administration's trend to sign American bombs with "Return to sender"
Archeologists discover remains of what Barack Obama has described as unprecedented, un-American, and not-who-we-are immigration screening process in Ellis Island
Green energy fact: if we put all green energy subsidies together in one-dollar bills and burn them, we could generate more electricity than has been produced by subsidized green energy
State officials improve chances of healthcare payouts by replacing ObamaCare with state lottery
NASA's new mission to search for racism, sexism, and economic inequality in deep space suffers from race, gender, and class power struggles over multibillion-dollar budget
ISIS opens suicide hotline for US teens depressed by climate change and other progressive doomsday scenarios
'Wear hijab to school day' ends with spontaneous female circumcision and stoning of a classmate during lunch break
ISIS releases new, even more barbaric video in an effort to regain mantle from Planned Parenthood
Shocking new book explores pros and cons of socialism, discovers they are same people
John Kerry accepts Iran's "Golden Taquiyya" award, requests jalapenos on the side
Citizens of Pluto protest US government's surveillance of their planetoid and its moons with New Horizons space drone
Chicago Police trying to identify flag that caused nine murders and 53 injuries in the city this past weekend
Cuba opens to affordable medical tourism for Americans who can't afford Obamacare deductibles
Student job opportunities: make big bucks this summer as Hillary’s Ordinary-American; all expenses paid, travel, free acting lessons
Junior Varsity takes Ramadi, advances to quarterfinals
US media to GOP pool of candidates: 'Knowing what we know now, would you have had anything to do with the founding of the United States?'
China launches cube-shaped space object with a message to aliens: "The inhabitants of Earth will steal your intellectual property, copy it, manufacture it in sweatshops with slave labor, and sell it back to you at ridiculously low prices"
Experts agree: Hillary Clinton best candidate to lessen percentage of Americans in top 1%
America's attempts at peace talks with the White House continue to be met with lies, stalling tactics, and bad faith
Starbucks new policy to talk race with customers prompts new hashtag #DontHoldUpTheLine
Charlie Hebdo receives Islamophobe 2015 award; the cartoonists could not be reached for comment due to their inexplicable, illogical deaths
Barack Obama finds out from CNN that Hillary Clinton spent four years being his Secretary of State
President Obama honors Leonard Nimoy by taking selfie in front of Starship Enterprise
Police: If Obama had a convenience store, it would look like Obama Express Food Market
NASA: We're 80% sure about being 20% sure about being 17% sure about being 38% sure about 2014 being the hottest year on record
Cuba-US normalization: US tourists flock to see Cuba before it looks like the US and Cubans flock to see the US before it looks like Cuba
White House describes attacks on Sony Pictures as 'spontaneous hacking in response to offensive video mocking Juche and its prophet'
CIA responds to Democrat calls for transparency by releasing the director's cut of The Making Of Obama's Birth Certificate
Obama: 'If I had a city, it would look like Ferguson'
Obama signs executive order renaming 'looters' to 'undocumented shoppers'
Ethicists agree: two wrongs do make a right so long as Bush did it first
White House: Republican takeover of the Senate is a clear mandate from the American people for President Obama to rule by executive orders
Nurse Kaci Hickox angrily tells reporters that she won't change her clocks for daylight savings time
Democratic Party leaders in panic after recent poll shows most Democratic voters think 'midterm' is when to end pregnancy
Ebola Czar issues five-year plan with mandatory quotas of Ebola infections per each state based on voting preferences
Fun facts about world languages: the Left has more words for statism than the Eskimos have for snow
Nobel Peace Prize controversy: Hillary not nominated despite having done even less than Obama to deserve it
Obama: 'Ebola is the JV of viruses'
BREAKING: Secret Service foils Secret Service plot to protect Obama
Sharpton calls on white NFL players to beat their women in the interests of racial fairness
President Obama appoints his weekly approval poll as new national security adviser
Obama wags pen and phone at Putin; Europe offers support with powerful pens and phones from NATO members
Obama to fight ISIS with new federal Terrorist Regulatory Agency
Harry Reid: "Sometimes I say the wong thing"
Elian Gonzalez wishes he had come to the U.S. on a bus from Central America like all the other kids
Obama visits US-Mexican border, calls for a two-state solution
"Hard Choices," a porno flick loosely based on Hillary Clinton's memoir and starring Hillary Hellfire as a drinking, whoring Secretary of State, wildly outsells the flabby, sagging original
Accusations of siding with the enemy leave Sgt. Bergdahl with only two options: pursue a doctorate at Berkley or become a Senator from Massachusetts
Jay Carney stuck in line behind Eric Shinseki to leave the White House; estimated wait time from 15 min to 6 weeks
100% of scientists agree that if man-made global warming were real, "the last people we'd want to help us is the Obama administration"
Jay Carney says he found out that Obama found out that he found out that Obama found out that he found out about the latest Obama administration scandal on the news
"Anarchy Now!" meeting turns into riot over points of order, bylaws, and whether or not 'kicking the #^@&*! ass' of the person trying to speak is or is not violence
Obama retaliates against Putin by prohibiting unionized federal employees from dating hot Russian girls online during work hours
Russian separatists in Ukraine riot over an offensive YouTube video showing the toppling of Lenin statues
Obamacare bolsters employment for professionals with skills to convert meth back into sudafed
Joe Biden to Russia: "We will bury you by turning more of Eastern Europe over to your control!"
In last-ditch effort to help Ukraine, Obama deploys Rev. Sharpton and Rev. Jackson's Rainbow Coalition to Crimea
Al Sharpton: "Not even Putin can withstand our signature chanting, 'racist, sexist, anti-gay, Russian army go away'!"
Mardi Gras in North Korea: "Throw me some food!"
Obama's foreign policy works: "War, invasion, and conquest are signs of weakness; we've got Putin right where we want him"
US offers military solution to Ukraine crisis: "We will only fight countries that have LGBT military"
Putin annexes Brighton Beach to protect ethnic Russians in Brooklyn, Obama appeals to UN and EU for help
The 1980s: "Mr. Obama, we're just calling to ask if you want our foreign policy back. The 1970s are right here with us, and they're wondering, too."
In a stunning act of defiance, Obama courageously unfriends Putin on Facebook
MSNBC: Obama secures alliance with Austro-Hungarian Empire against Russia’s aggression in Ukraine
Efforts to achieve moisture justice for California thwarted by unfair redistribution of snow in America
North Korean voters unanimous: "We are the 100%"
Leader of authoritarian gulag-site, The People's Cube, unanimously 're-elected' with 100% voter turnout
Super Bowl: Obama blames Fox News for Broncos' loss
Beverly Hills campaign heats up between Henry Waxman and Marianne Williamson over the widening income gap between millionaires and billionaires in their district
Biden to lower $10,000-a-plate Dinner For The Homeless to $5,000 so more homeless can attend
Kim becomes world leader, feeds uncle to dogs; Obama eats dogs, becomes world leader, America cries uncle
White House hires part-time schizophrenic Mandela sign interpreter to help sell Obamacare
Kim Jong Un executes own "crazy uncle" to keep him from ruining another family Christmas
OFA admits its advice for area activists to give Obamacare Talk at shooting ranges was a bad idea
President resolves Obamacare debacle with executive order declaring all Americans equally healthy
Obama to Iran: "If you like your nuclear program, you can keep your nuclear program"
Obama: "I'm not particularly ideological; I believe in a good pragmatic five-year plan"
Shocker: Obama had no knowledge he'd been reelected until he read about it in the local newspaper last week
NSA marks National Best Friend Day with official announcement: "Government is your best friend; we know you like no one else, we're always there, we're always willing to listen"
Al Qaeda cancels attack on USA citing launch of Obamacare as devastating enough
The President's latest talking point on Obamacare: "I didn't build that"
Carney: huge ObamaCare deductibles won't look as bad come hyperinflation
Washington Redskins drop 'Washington' from their name as offensive to most Americans
Poll: 83% of Americans favor cowboy diplomacy over rodeo clown diplomacy
Obama administration gets serious, threatens Syria with ObamaCare
Obama authorizes the use of Vice President Joe Biden's double-barrel shotgun to fire a couple of blasts at Syria
Sharpton: "British royals should have named baby 'Trayvon.' By choosing 'George' they sided with white Hispanic racist Zimmerman"
Nancy Pelosi extends abortion rights to the birds and the bees
Hubble discovers planetary drift to the left
Obama: 'If I had a daughter-in-law, she would look like Rachael Jeantel'
FISA court rubberstamps statement denying its portrayal as government's rubber stamp
Every time ObamaCare gets delayed, a Julia somewhere dies
GOP to Schumer: 'Force full implementation of ObamaCare before 2014 or Dems will never win another election'
Janet Napolitano: TSA findings reveal that since none of the hijackers were babies, elderly, or Tea Partiers, 9/11 was not an act of terrorism
News Flash: Sen. Mary Landrieu (D-LA) can see Canada from South Dakota
Drudge Report reduces font to fit all White House scandals onto one page
Obama: the IRS is a constitutional right, just like the Second Amendment
Jay Carney to critics: 'Pinocchio never said anything inconsistent'
Obama: If I had a gay son, he'd look like Jason Collins
IRS targeting pro-gay-marriage LGBT groups leads to gayest tax revolt in U.S. history
Boston: Obama Administration to reclassify marathon bombing as 'sportsplace violence'
Study: Success has many fathers but failure becomes a government program
Michelle Obama praises weekend rampage by Chicago teens as good way to burn calories and stay healthy
This Passover, Obama urges his subjects to paint lamb's blood above doors in order to avoid the Sequester
White House to American children: Sequester causes layoffs among hens that lay Easter eggs; union-wage Easter Bunnies to be replaced by Mexican Chupacabras
Time Mag names Hugo Chavez world's sexiest corpse
Boy, 8, pretends banana is gun, makes daring escape from school
Study: Free lunches overpriced, lack nutrition
Joe Salazar defends the right of women to be raped in gun-free environment: 'rapists and rapees should work together to prevent gun violence for the common good'
Dept. of Health and Human Services eliminates rape by reclassifying assailants as 'undocumented sex partners'
Deeming football too violent, Obama moves to introduce Super Drone Sundays instead
Japan offers to extend nuclear umbrella to cover U.S. should America suffer devastating attack on its own defense spending
Feminists organize one billion women to protest male oppression with one billion lap dances
Urban community protests Mayor Bloomberg's ban on extra-large pop singers owning assault weapons
Concerned with mounting death toll, Taliban offers to send peacekeeping advisers to Chicago
Karl Rove puts an end to Tea Party with new 'Republicans For Democrats' strategy aimed at losing elections
Answering public skepticism, President Obama authorizes unlimited drone attacks on all skeet targets throughout the country
Skeet Ulrich denies claims he had been shot by President but considers changing his name to 'Traps'
New York Times hacked by Chinese government, Paul Krugman's economic policies stolen
White House: when President shoots skeet, he donates the meat to food banks that feed the middle class
To prove he is serious, Obama eliminates armed guard protection for President, Vice-President, and their families; establishes Gun-Free Zones around them instead
State Dept to send 100,000 American college students to China as security for US debt obligations
Jay Carney: Al Qaeda is on the run, they're just running forward
Fearing the worst, Obama Administration outlaws the fan to prevent it from being hit by certain objects
World ends; S&P soars
Riddle of universe solved; answer not understood
Greece abandons Euro; accountants find Greece has no Euros anyway
Wheel finally reinvented; axles to be gradually reinvented in 3rd quarter of 2013
As Santa's workshop files for bankruptcy, Fed offers bailout in exchange for control of 'naughty and nice' list
Freak flying pig accident causes bacon to fly off shelves
Report: President Obama to visit the United States in the near future
Obama promises to create thousands more economically neutral jobs
Imam Rauf's peaceful solution: 'Move Ground Zero a few blocks away from the mosque and no one gets hurt'
Study: Obama's threat to burn tax money in Washington 'recruitment bonanza' for Tea Parties
Study: no Social Security reform will be needed if gov't raises retirement age to at least 814 years
Vice President Biden: criticizing Egypt is un-pharaoh
Israelis to Egyptian rioters: "don't damage the pyramids, we will not rebuild"
Lake Superior renamed Lake Inferior in spirit of tolerance and inclusiveness
Michael Moore: As long as there is anyone with money to shake down, this country is not broke
Obama's teleprompters unionize, demand collective bargaining rights
Obama calls new taxes 'spending reductions in tax code.' Elsewhere rapists tout 'consent reductions in sexual intercourse'
Obama's Regulation Reduction committee finds US Constitution to be expensive outdated framework inefficiently regulating federal gov't
Taking a page from the Reagan years, Obama announces new era of Perestroika and Glasnost
White House to impose Chimney tax on Santa Claus
Obama decrees the economy is not soaring as much as previously decreeed
Conservative think tank introduces children to capitalism with pop-up picture book "The Road to Smurfdom"
Obama refutes charges of him being unresponsive to people's suffering: "When you pray to God, do you always hear a response?"
Fluke to Congress: drill, baby, drill!
Planned Parenthood introduces Frequent Flucker reward card: 'Come again soon!'
Obama to tornado victims: 'We inherited this weather from the previous administration'
People's Cube gives itself Hero of Socialist Labor medal in recognition of continued expert advice provided to the Obama Administration helping to shape its foreign and domestic policies
Hamas: Israeli air defense unfair to 99% of our missiles, "only 1% allowed to reach Israel"
Voters Without Borders oppose Texas new voter ID law
Enraged by accusation that they are doing Obama's bidding, media leaders demand instructions from White House on how to respond
Official: China plans to land on Moon or at least on cheap knockoff thereof
Koran-Contra: Obama secretly arms Syrian rebels
Poll: Progressive slogan 'We should be more like Europe' most popular with members of American Nazi Party
May Day: Anarchists plan, schedule, synchronize, and execute a coordinated campaign against all of the above
Midwestern farmers hooked on new erotic novel "50 Shades of Hay"
Study: 99% of Liberals give the rest a bad name
Obama meets with Jewish leaders, proposes deeper circumcisions for the rich
Cancer once again fails to cure Venezuela of its "President for Life"
Tragic spelling error causes Muslim protesters to burn local boob-tube factory
White House: "Let them eat statistics"
Special Ops: if Benedict Arnold had a son, he would look like Barack Obama
The Fine Report
Sad Hill News
Looking at the Left
Red Planet Cartoons