This first of many products to make better safe spaces for our tender life blossoms!

As synthetic towels are made from EVIL OIL and wool is the exploitation of sheep, the only towel a caring prog would use must be woven from their own body hair, of course.

The next generation model will feature a "Chalk Filter" in case your towel accidently touched the hateful writings of a Konservative as your fell to the ground in pain from gazing upon the word "T---P" (censored here to prevent fainting and vomiting).

Sob Squisher 3000™

I especially like the green rollers, Comrade. Nice touch. For a few extra rubles, is it possible to purchase red rollers for use during the Holidays (Mayday, Red October, etc.)?

The rollers are GREEN like <spit> money! I may have a spot for these in my center.

Nyet! Comrades. The rollers are not GREEN, they are WATERMELLON: GREEN on the outside, RED in the middle, hence approved by The Party.

I first read the name of the device as S.O.B. Squisher. Surely that was not a conscious intention, comrade, or else the Party will have to show-trial you for sabotage.

The Red October Edition.

Watermelon? What kind of racist dog whistle rethugglikkan talk is this!!

Ivan the Stakhanovets wrote:Watermelon? What kind of racist dog whistle rethugglikkan talk is this!!

Would it soften your view if you were aware they are double-plus good for processing squirrel pelts?

wait... it what?

can I get one on e-bayski or must I wait in line with the unwashed masses?

Ivan the Stakhanovets wrote:wait... it what?

can I get one on e-bayski or must I wait in line with the unwashed masses?

Those that have shown themselves to be accomplished procurers for the Collective™ can appropriate one via two-day rail. You'll be skin'n n win'n in no time flat!!!

Red Square wrote:I first read the name of the device as S.O.B. Squisher. Surely that was not a conscious intention, comrade, or else the Party will have to show-trial you for sabotage.

I may have to rename it, I don't want my customers sticking their heads in it...

I'll buy one when they include a free Candlelight Vigil Kit.

After seeing the latest blog post here on TPC about Anthony Weiner, I briefly thought about having them make rollers that look like... well, you know.

Then I realized that customers of this product will want rollers that are more than two inches long.

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First
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said...
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Would it soften your view if you were aware they are double-plus good for processing squirrel pelts?

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Then
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[color=#C0392B]Ivan the Exterminator[/color] wrote:Wait... it what?

can I get one on e-bayski or must I wait in line with the unwashed masses?

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Ha ha... Dear Leader™ likes me the best!
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Mikhail Lysenkomann wrote:After seeing the latest blog post here on TPC about Anthony Weiner, I briefly thought about having them make rollers that look like... well, you know.

Then I realized that customers of this product will want rollers that are more than two inches long.

It seems like any safe space worth anything should have a soft blankie, maybe one with a solar heater.

Comrade,

Blankie is in barracks 4, not your turn yet, six more weeks.
Solar heater is called August. Also not your turn yet...

Back to beet fields.

Oh no, I've had my turn in barracks 4. There are no blankies there.

If I didn't know better, and I do know better, I'd swear that you're withholding safe spaces from the most deserving. Namely me.

Ivan the Stakhanovets wrote:
Comrade,

Blankie is in barracks 4, not your turn yet, six more weeks.
Solar heater is called August. Also not your turn yet...


Back to beet fields.

How come you posted a picture of our summer camp?

Captain Craptek wrote:

Ivan the Stakhanovets wrote:
Comrade,

Blankie is in barracks 4, not your turn yet, six more weeks.
Solar heater is called August. Also not your turn yet...


Back to beet fields.

How come you posted a picture of our summer camp?

Why you not believe it summer? Is always summer in our Glorious Sunny Kollektive! Everything warm: warm people, warm government, warm ovens... Is so warm that people come here for vacation and wear black and white stripes to imitate Zebra that live in hot African climate! The only thing that not warm is dissenters like you! I don't denounce you this time, but watch out for Stasi in future.

The blankie is not in barracks 4? I'm shocked. Shocked I say.

Barracks 4 did win the volleyball tournament and got the kollective's blankie for two full weeks as a prize.

Perhaps it was purchased by another barracks or administrator with ration cards? There is no monetary reason that the blankie cannot be returned to its proper place.

I'm sure it will turn up as soon as I get another weeks's worth of vodka anytime now.