Last night for Comrade David Letterman is the night to forget. Just before the curtains were drawn, CBS took the clothes off his back, exposing him for the audience to see. Not that he came out of the closet, yet, but he was naked when he got home from work.

As everything at the studios, the clothes Comrade Letterman wears are exclusively owned by CBS, and all the items must be returned upon exiting, lest an impostor attempts to represent their business. CBS prides itself in taking care of its people, especially when it comes to what they wear.

This can't be wrong because CBS is government-approved. After all, nudity is just another link to government-approved poverty and wildlife. The clothes are the symbol of government-provided care, and since Comrade Letterman has reached a non-productive age, the clothes lifted off his shoulders will be redistributed to more productive, younger comrades.

In some cultures, clothes are a burden to a person. A nude comrade is a free comrade. Liberated from from capitalist consumerism and bourgeois biases, retired Letterman proudly goes his own way whether it is in the woods or on the streets.

Just as a trip to the consumerist Wally World, this confirms my belief God invented clothes for a reason. Oops! God = State (Had to save myself from more reeducation)