In a noble gesture, China revealed today that it has selflessly backed up the data contained on the computer systems of many military contractors, chemical plants, mining companies, and satellite and telecommunications corporations in the United States. Valuable data consisting of technology blueprints, manufacturing processes, clinical trial results, pricing documents, negotiation strategies and other proprietary information was unobtrusively copied and saved to a back up drive in Shanghai.
The Chinese feared that this data could be lost in massive power surges from an overabundance of energy created by President Obama’s green energy investments.
The talented computer programmers of People’s Liberation Army Unit 61398 copied the data in a way that did not inconvenience the day to day operations of the American corporations and waived their usual fee. One of the companies that benefited from China’s goodwill was Coca-Cola which had many terabytes of data safely backed up.
President Obama personally thanked President Hu Jintao and assured him that the White House would do nothing to impede the Chinese from continuing to back up data from at risk American corporations. In return, Hu Jintao graciously invited Obama to Beijing to taste the new People’s Cola.
We back up American imperialist data on Chinese gov’t computers for the common good!
Opiate of the PeopleI wonder if our Chinese comrades also backed up Dear Leader's donor database.
They already had a hard copy:
Your password will meet a nice Chinese gentleman.
Current phrase for Chinese hacking ... "take out".