Our feathered friends are returning from their seasonal migrations and have come back with some new ideas.

Birds returning from Berniezuela have been tweeting about the virtues of Socialism and how it has greatly enhanced income equality among the non-ruling classes.

Our correspondents have confirmed that some of the lies that we have been told since our earliest days have been only now proven false.

One of the lies of religion was that women had one more rib than men; now, one only need visit Venezuela to see that men and women have the exact same number of ribs! Another lie exposed thanks to Socialism!

We need to stop monkeying around with Capitalism. It has made the population very unhealthy - the obesity epidemic is out of control.

The Bernizuela diet would slim down all those obese Americans in no time and we would have a much healthier population!

We surveyed the monkey population in Venezuela and can confirm that you don't see any fat monkeys! They can all climb trees and jump quite high.

Komissar al-Blogunov wrote:

I love the eternal newness of socialism. It's always a new idea, and there will always be a generation to make sure it's done right.

Yes. Always Hope. Always Change.

Papa Kalashnikook wrote:

Komissar al-Blogunov wrote:

I love the eternal newness of socialism. It's always a new idea, and there will always be a generation to make sure it's done right.

Yes. Always Hope. Always Change.

I assume that is "Always Change Others," is it not? Surely we are too morally superior to require changing ourselves, are we not?

Comrades. Word has it that evil capitalists have employed indigenous Brazillian Hill people and monkeys to smuggle toilet paper through the Parima Tapirepco across the unfenced frontier past the 2 or 3 vigilant Venezuelan Peoples Border Guards in an effort to sell and extort the Venezuelan workers of their manioc rations. This smuggling must be wiped-out, and all forms of profit cleansed, and the monkeys and indians sent to camps for reeducation through work!

You know what Bernie needs? A good taxidermist.