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The NSA has issued a Public Announcement today saying that everyone who owns a laptop, cell phone, smart TV, and any other modern social device with video recording, is advised to clean their camera lens regularly.

An unnamed member of the NSA has released the statement through their Twitter account adding that "It's really not good for morale when you see a chick in her bedroom through the laptop, and the camera lens blurs the image because of a smudge or something, especially when she's pretty hot." The NSA Twitter account later stated that "if you are under a 5 out of 10 on the hotness scale then you can disregard the advisory."

This is not the first very open statement the NSA has made in recent months when they released a tweet saying, "You know what? Everyone knows we're watching, so we might as well save billions on secrecy and be blatant about it. I mean, the cat's out of the bag and we, as a tax-powered institution, should just admit it."

There have also been hundreds of complaints recently from all collective genders about receiving random and untraceable phone texts while at home, asking the recipients things like, "Turn around a few times" and "It's a little warm for that sweater, don't you think?"

When asked about the recent unprofessional attitude they officially state that "it's 2015, so get with the times, this is the new standard of government professionalism."

You do not need to worry comrades. In The People's Plot, there will be already a grade for your hotness scale. There will be no need to turn in your pictures.

I had something else in mind;

Chedoh wrote: .... I mean, the cat's out of the bag and we, as a tax-powered institution, should just admit it."

Ah! what terror shall be shaping
When the Judge the truth's undraping—
Cats from every bag escaping!

Pamalinsky can sing the whole thing* for a very reasonable fee.

* I recommend the Karl Jenkins arrangement.

Don't forget OSA (Obama's Security Agency) and Operation OSA (Operation Observe Sharyl's Activities). Here, in the Top Secret picture below, we see Obama's OSA Advisor Ben Rhodes hard at work on Operation OSA observing Sharyl Attkisson's activities:


--KOOK

Lev Termen wrote:

Chedoh wrote: .... I mean, the cat's out of the bag and we, as a tax-powered institution, should just admit it."

Ah! what terror shall be shaping
When the Judge the truth's undraping—
Cats from every bag escaping!

Pamalinsky can sing the whole thing* for a very reasonable fee.

* I recommend the Karl Jenkins arrangement.

Not sure what you are referring to there, Lev. However, I, who love cats, just wish people would do their own laundry in private. I mean, it's really boring from both points of view. Exactly what would we be hiding? Skid marks, food stains on our aprons, our use of bleach, other detergents?

A puzzlement.

Just looked up Karl Jenkins, an arranger for Enya, of all people. Do you really think my posts reflect this, Dude? Really? I don't believe I smear butter all over everything.

I do like cats, however, and doggies, horsies and birdies. So, sue me!

PS: The very small print in which you posted this question was not lost on me.

Pamalinsky wrote:

Lev Termen wrote:

Chedoh wrote: .... I mean, the cat's out of the bag and we, as a tax-powered institution, should just admit it."

Ah! what terror shall be shaping
When the Judge the truth's undraping—
Cats from every bag escaping!

Pamalinsky can sing the whole thing* for a very reasonable fee.

* I recommend the Karl Jenkins arrangement.

Not sure what you are referring to there, Lev. However, I, who love cats, just wish people would do their own laundry in private. I mean, it's really boring from both points of view. Exactly what would we be hiding? Skid marks, food stains on our aprons, our use of bleach, other detergents?

A puzzlement.

Just looked up Karl Jenkins, an arranger for Enya, of all people. Do you really think my posts reflect this, Dude? Really? I don't believe I smear butter all over everything.

I do like cats, however, and doggies, horsies and birdies. So, sue me!

PS: The very small print in which you posted this question was not lost on me.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7RirEqehfsg

But the Jenkins version will give you on and off nightmares for a week.

Lev Termen wrote:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7RirEqehfsg

But the Jenkins version will give you on and off nightmares for a week.

Quite true Comrade Terman, but I didn't want to scare Pami away - she is very sensitive you know. BTW: I've noticed many more creepy crawlers around here since I listened to your link.

And this,

"Ah! what terror shall be shaping
When the Judge the truth's undraping—
Cats from every bag escaping!"

Ambrose has in each short line
A phrase he's turned that's most divine.

Pamalinsky wrote:Just looked up Karl Jenkins, an arranger for Enya, of all people. Do you really think my posts reflect this, Dude? Really? I don't believe I smear butter all over everything.

I do like cats, however, and doggies, horsies and birdies. So, sue me!

What is Enya?

I have a birdie, too! The man who sold him to me said he is a budgie and his name is Mr. 50cm. Right now he only eats people from the Army base but I am trying to get him to eat bird seed. He does not talk much, and when he does it is only about existential uncertainty.

Captain Craptek wrote:I've noticed many more creepy crawlers around here since I listened to your link.

Well, call up Comrade Tovarichi and ask him to show up with his trusty Mosin-Nagant. In the meantime, if you are having troubles staying awake (they only attack when you're asleep, you know), try this. It will keep you awake of a night or two.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N_ZG6tRGMYk

Chedoh wrote:
The NSA has issued a Public Announcement today saying that everyone who owns a laptop, cell phone, smart TV, and any other modern social device with video recording, is advised to clean their camera lens regularly.

Chedoh!!! You're back!

Captain Craptek wrote:

Lev Termen wrote:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7RirEqehfsg

But the Jenkins version will give you on and off nightmares for a week.

Quite true Comrade Terman, but I didn't want to scare Pami away - she is very sensitive you know. BTW: I've noticed many more creepy crawlers around here since I listened to your link.

And this,

"Ah! what terror shall be shaping
When the Judge the truth's undraping—
Cats from every bag escaping!"

[highlight=#ffff00]Ambrose has in each short line
A phrase he's turned that's most divine.[/highlight]

And, that phrase IS?

[highlight=#ffff00]"Big penis, big penis, big penis, big penis."[/highlight]

As a phonetics freak, and chorus singer, I swear that is exactly what is being sung in the "chorus."

(I, Pamalinsky, approve this message.)

Lev Termen wrote:

Pamalinsky wrote:Just looked up Karl Jenkins, an arranger for Enya, of all people. Do you really think my posts reflect this, Dude? Really? I don't believe I smear butter all over everything.

I do like cats, however, and doggies, horsies and birdies. So, sue me!

What is Enya?

I have a birdie, too! The man who sold him to me said he is a budgie and his name is Mr. 50cm. Right now he only eats people from the Army base but I am trying to get him to eat bird seed. He does not talk much, and when he does it is only about existential uncertainty.

burdie.jpg

Well, Lev,

You certainly do have a birdie. And, a big one, too! A birdie who talks about existence, itself. Very impressive.

Speaking of birdies, my brother and I had fun talking to his birdie, a parrot named Peetie, who kept moving back and forth on his perch in anticipation of food.

Brother: Hey, Peetie, Want a little cracker?

Peetie: Want a little cracker!

Brother: Want a little apple?

Peetie: Want a little apple!

(repeat twice)

Increasing his excitement and back and forth movements,

Peetie replied:

Want a little crapple!

The conflation left us ROFL!