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8 things that work better than thoughts and prayers

Every time we suffer the consequences of climate change and hateful GOP rhetoric, Republicans always respond by offering "thoughts and prayers." The Party has decreed that Thoughts and Prayers do not address the problem, and only highlights how little Republicans care about anything.

So what does work more effectively than Thoughts and Prayers? Presented below, for your consideration, are just a few of The Party's tried and true methods for showing how much more we care than they do.

1. Awareness Ribbons:

Wearing an awareness ribbon shows everyone how much you care. When you see someone wearing an awareness ribbon, you know they care.

Awareness ribbons come in different colors for different issues. Don't know what issue a certain color signifies? Ask the wearer, and they'll tell you! Just like that, you'll be aware of the issue! See how that works? The ribbon really works! And since you don't want to be seen as uncaring, you'll want to wear one, too!

You can't wear Thoughts and Prayers on your lapel or bra strap.

2. [Insert Issue Here] Strong Wristbands:

They're just like Awareness Ribbons, only you wear them on your wrists. You can't wear Thoughts and Prayers on your wrist, either.

3. Avatar/Profile Pic Filters:

Also like Awareness Ribbons. Slap on one of these and every time you post something somewhere, people will know how much you care about whatever issue the filter represents. Ever seen an avatar or profile pic tinted with a Thought or Prayer? Me neither.

4. Slogans:

Great for putting on banners and chanting at rallies. You can't do that with thoughts or prayers—except with the words themselves, e.g.: THOUGHTS AND PRAYERS! THEY DON'T WORK! THOUGHTS AND PRAYERS! THEY DON'T WORK! or GOD CAN'T FIX IT! THEN WHO CAN? GOVERNMENT! GOVERNMENT!

5. #Hashtags:

Come up with a slogan, any slogan, then turn it into a hashtag that you and your comrades can tweet and retweet again and again and again! Try it yourself and see how quickly #ThoughtsandPrayersDontWork! goes viral!

6. Selfies:

Take a picture of yourself holding up a piece of paper with your slogan/hashtag on it. The State Department does this all the time. You'll notice they never pray, and neither their spokespersons nor John Kerry ever offer anything that comes close to a thought.

7. White House Summits:

In which Obama invites a whole bunch of people to the Executive Mansion for one day to talk about the issue at hand. They sit at long tables arranged in a square and they talk. Sometimes they split into smaller "breakout sessions" where they crack jokes (e.g. "shovel ready wasn't as shovel ready as we thought") about how this whole thing is a stupid waste of time and would be greatly improved if only there were real dogs and ponies in attendance. But at least it looks as if they're doing something more than if they just offered "thoughts and prayers."

8. Global Conferences:

Like WH summits, but on an international scale. Especially popular when it comes to raising awareness of Climate Change. Always held in glamorous locales like Paris, because it's so bright and shiny and sparkly that who notices nothing is really accomplished? Lots of photo-ops showing world leaders smiling and talking and dining on haute cuisine, all looking as if they're doing something...about...something. At least they care enough to be there! Honestly—would they spend millions of dollars and travel thousands of miles to be there if they didn't?

By contrast, if someone took a picture of Republicans praying, would that really look to you as if they're doing something about whatever it is? Do they really look as if they care? And just how far do they have to travel, and how much money do they spend just to offer thoughts or prayers? Thoughts and prayers cost nothing, and require minimal effort. Why, no one even has to see anyone engaging in thoughts and prayers! What's the use of caring enough to raise awareness and make a difference if no one else sees you? Or even more importantly, if no one else's money is spent?

Now let's have some breakout sessions, comrades. What else can we come up with that's more effective than thoughts or prayers to some mythical being who can't do all the wonderful, marvelous things Government can?

______________________
Commissarka Pinkie is a regular contributor to The People's Cube, with a lifelong commitment to raising awareness of how much she cares. When she isn't busy making an issue out of everything, she enjoys spending other people's money, jumping on bandwagons, and looking for anything she deems offensive and a threat to her safe space.

Commissarka Pinkie wrote:You can't wear Thoughts and Prayers on your lapel or bra strap.

My dearest Commissarka... Since when do progs wear bras?? If there's one thing I've learned, it's that bare breasts (and the saggier the better) are the surest way to raise awareness. Instant news coverage!!

Nothing says caring like a good CHANT!

I can't breathe: hands-up don't shoot: hell no, we won't go, classic, each one!

Commissarka Pinkie, I think we should add Bumper Stickers, words should promote like, Coexist written with religious symbols, Love spelled out in Sanscript, it's 10 pm. do you know where your terrorists freedom fighters are? less fighting and more paperwork, Accept our Faults as Americans, Hands up don't Decapitate, patriotic stickers in yellow, red and climate change green, happy faces over gumdrop rainbows chanting, yes, yes chanting peace or the classic "MUSLIM LIVES MATTER".....my mind is exploding with great ideas....

You can contribute money to good causes.

I've taken it upon myself to get pro-active and have created a fund that you can give money to. Climate change is causing so many problems for the Islamic community, problems that have made life impossible for them. My charitable fund, The $.$. Halliburton Fund For Fish Swimming Up The Streets Of Our Global Warming Flooded Cities, seeks to address this problem and feed Islamic climate change refugees so they don't kill us because we caused climate change.

Hey, it's a plan.

Please commies please, send big checks.

Good Idea $.$. Halliburton, perhaps you can have Bono create a concert to save the hurricanes as long as everyone can show complete disdain for America, the big polluter!

$.$. Halliburton wrote:You can contribute money to good causes.

I've taken it upon myself to get pro-active and have created a fund that you can give money to. Climate change is causing so many problems for the Islamic community, problems that have made life impossible for them. My charitable fund, [highlight=#ffff00]The $.$. Halliburton Fund For Fish Swimming Up The Streets Of Our Global Warming Flooded Cities[/highlight], seeks to address this problem and feed Islamic climate change refugees so they don't kill us because we caused climate change.

Hey, it's a plan.

Please commies please, send big checks.

Hey, Comrade $.$. Halliburton,

#Fish gotta swim, birds gotta fly! (even in Florida)
#I gotta love one man til I die! (Obama)
#Can't help lovin' that man of mine! (ditto above)
#So whttaya gonna do about it?

Hey, it's a plan.

Carbon credits, dear Commissarka. By purchasing carbon credits, comrades can reduce their carbon footprints, thus reducing global warming, thus eliminating the greatest threat to world peace. Carbon credits work like forgiveness for environmental sins, but without the need for a ridiculous god. We need only our glorious and all-wise leader.

It's similar to Comrade Halliburton's crowdfunding plan, but carbon credits are less shady. The funds don't go to some individual collecting money. They go to ... hmmm ... they go to ... some ... responsible person in the collective, I'm pretty sure.

Candlelight Vigils are the most effective way of fixing everything. Holding a candle at night with strangers (combined with involuntary chanting and snappy slogans) also makes people feel good.From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

A candlelight vigil is an outdoor assembly of people carrying candles, held after sunset in order to show support for a specific cause.^[1] Such events are typically held either to protest the suffering of some marginalized group of people, or in memory of a life or lives lost to some disease, disaster, massacre or other tragedy. A large candlelight vigil will usually have invited speakers with a public address system and may be covered by local or national media. Speakers give their speech at the beginning of the vigil to explain why they are holding a vigil and what it represents.^[2] Vigils may also have a religious or spiritual purpose. <SPIT> On Christmas Eve many churches hold a candlelight vigil. <SPIT> Just be careful of errant sparking.

Comrade, you have provided much needed guidance. To fight the racist capitalist pigs, I shall disguise my uniform with awareness ribbons and wristbands. They will imagine I am friend and never suspect I have come to knife them in back. Dasvidanya my brother in arms!

Pamalinsky wrote: Hey, Comrade $.$. Halliburton,

#Fish gotta swim, birds gotta fly! (even in Florida)
#I gotta love one man til I die! (Obama)
#Can't help lovin' that man of mine! (ditto above)
#So whttaya gonna do about it?

Hey, it's a plan.

Our little Pamski, always such a "Show-boat..."

Red Walrus wrote:Candlelight Vigils are the most effective way of fixing everything. Holding a candle at night with strangers (combined with involuntary chanting and snappy slogans) also makes people feel good... Just be careful of errant sparking.

Contact your local labor union representative to join a candlelight vigil near you.

Man, what a beautiful Current Truth ™! I hope to see more like this.

Teddy bears and flowers. Always leave teddy bears and flowers. Or teddy bears eating flowers. Or flowers eating teddy bears.

Quite korrekt. Also, the person depositing the largest teddy bear on the display altar is deemed most caring and prominently featured on the evening news. Some say these events are sponsored by local toy stores and florists, but I don't believe them. That would be cynical!

BUMP.

Really, every time the Republicans dredge up their tired old "thoughts and prayers" gig, we should trot out this thread with the same regularity the MSM does with that dog-eared, yellow-edged, grease-stained article usually titled along the lines of "In Wake of Attacks, Muslim Americans Brace for Islamophobic Backlash."