



Everyone knows that all cars are created equal. In the name of justice we must legislate the equality of American automobiles with their foreign counterparts. A Car Czar must be appointed to distribute cash to our automobile industry so that we can protect it from the Capitalist evil of competition.
To highlight the urgent need for these measures and to emphasize the many successes of government-run automaking, we present the 2008 Government-Subsidized Auto Show. All automobile manufacturers are rated according to the Red Star system, with five stars as the highest award.
Did you know.......that if Pres. George W. Bush really WERE Hitler, most of his political opponents would be dead by now?
...that after almost 50 yrs on this planet, the US Presidency will be Barack Obama's first REAL job?
...that if politicians could run things like the auto industry successfully, the Soviet Union WOULDN'T have collapsed?

His name was Ollie and he came to Earth looking for an honest, self-reliant, optimistic, and technically inclined nation that could benefit from a contact with his more advanced civilization.
"Whoa, whoa!" I raised my finger. "To call yourself advanced you must take at least three diversity training classes. What planet are you from, really?"
Communists of Petersburg and the Leningrad Oblast have issued an official statement on Barack Obama's victory in the 2008 presidential election. They are the same glorious party who earlier denounced Harrison Ford with Cate Blanchett for the anti-Soviet propaganda in Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull, and most recently accused Olga Kurylenko of treason for playing the new Bond girl.
"The days of the bloodthirsty and thieving Bush administration are ending. The American people have rejected the rabid Russophobia and anti-Sovietism of McCain. We, the Communists, believe that McCain must respond to his own defeat like an honorable officer and shoot himself in the head. Or there will be no respect left for him..."
The recent election has left the GOP sharply divided. As caring and compassionate progressives, it is our duty to help their two fighting factions destroy each other as soon as possible. When the Republicans were in power we successfully manipulated their infighting with our planned long-term strategy. But now that the GOP is in shambles, we must quickly find a way to
manipulate their rebuilding effort, making sure that the Moderate Republicans prevail over the Extreme Republicans. Once all conservatives are removed, the GOP will be nothing more than a puppet, kept only for the appearance of a two-party system.
To this end The Peoples Cube presents the "Order of Republican Moderation" as a reward to those Moderate Republicans who show courage and bravery in ridding the world of conservatism, in the following categories:
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Comrades! November 4th 2008 shall be inscribed in golden letters in the history of the international revolutionary movement as the day when American workers, peasants, and toiling intelligentsia finally rose to reject the archaic idea of American exceptionalism. Our agents in the academia, mass media, and trivial entertainment divisions have lived up to the Party's expectations in swaying the voting populace into throwing off the chains of accountability, integrity, and individualism - and embracing their true nature as a mote of a vast collective. Below is a list of mandatory slogans for spontaneous pronouncements at congratulatory rallies, approved by the Central Committee of the Democrat Party of the United States of America (DPUSA) for the official four-year-long celebration of Change. |
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Comrades from all over the world are converging. Young, old, dead, plant, pets, oatmeal and just everyone and everything in between is ready, willing and now registered to hand Senator Obama -- OUR SAVIOR -- a solid and decisive VICTORY! |
Hollywood is abuzz about the latest spat between African-American superstars Will Smith and Denzel Washington for the privilege of playing the lead in the Obama biopic to be directed by the Do the Right Thing man himself, Mr. Spike Lee, who reputedly demanded a $50 million directing-and-producing fee. The $1bn Lukas-Spielberg-Geffen-Winfrey
production will also feature Samuel Z. Jackson as Obama pere and Beyonce as Mrs. Obama. The latter will perform such new Quincy Jones soon-to-be hits as Ch-ch-changes (He Comin' ) and We Is Who We Waits For .
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In this election season, Americans are becoming increasingly convinced that if they don't vote Democrat they will all get sick, paralyzed, dismembered, and ultimately die for lack of on-demand embryos available for their consumption. The good news is, once they are dead they'll be voting Democrat forever! Dead voters are playing a progressively important role in the American democratic process, consistently casting their votes for the Democratic Party. According to "Countdown" on MSNBC, the International Coalition of Dead Voters has endorsed all Democratic candidates in this election cycle. "We have always sided with progress and unilateral disarmament, and it is very important that this November all dead people of good will, once again, vote Democrat," said the Coalition's spokesperson to Keith Olbermann in a segment called Bush Disenfranchises The American Dead. "Not all of us are from this country, though" the spokesperson said, adding that a standard term for his constituents would be "necro-proxies." |
Studies show that casual sex is a number one issue among Democrat voters. Democrats think that casual sex with strangers is more important thanThe scientific consensus is clear: while Republicans spread freedom and democracy, Democrats spread sexually transmitted diseases.
Media experts are still debating the mysterious claim by a 20-year-old McCain/Palin volunteer concerning the bruises, the missing $60, and the letter "B" that suddenly appeared on her cheek as she was using a cash machine in Pittsburg, PA last night. "I honestly believe this is
the beginning of the rise of a new type of B-stigmatics," says MSNBC host Chris Matthews, whose personal leg tingles during the Obama speeches have turned him into an expert. "Such B-stigmata will often take form of bruises, disappearing wallets, and yes, the letter B popping up on people's cheeks. The afflicted may even claim they saw the image of the Obamessiah dressed in dark hoodie, jeans, and shiny gym shoes, but those must be hallucinations resulting from exceptional white guilt and
desire to associate oneself with the suffering Obamessiah and his disciples."
Meet Bam the Driller as he dances to the rhythm of his trusty jackhammer, making holes in your wallets, border fences, talk radio microphones, school vouchers, prison cells, babies' heads, and US military.
Cameo appearances of Wright, Chavez, Farrakhan, Marx, Mumia, Raines, and others.
NOT FUNNYFirst published inPajamas Media ![]() |
Our out-of-character reporting in Pajamas Media appeared on Drudge Report and hundreds of other websites within hours: While the Democrat-leaning media continues to scare undecided voters with bedtime stories about some mythical angry McCain supporter whom nobody has seen, here is a real district attorney's complaint documenting an unprovoked assault by an enraged Democrat against a McCain volunteer in midtown Manhattan: "Defendant grabbed the sign [informant] was
holding, broke the wood stick that was attached to it, and then struck informant in informant's face thereby causing informant to sustain redness, swelling, and bruising to informant's face and further causing informant to sustain substantial pain." |
First published in American Thinker![]() |
A unanimously negative media response to the political slapstick movie American Carol reinforces my theory that humor -- and satire in particular -- is an accurate litmus test of one's political and ideological convictions, even if one insists on having no convictions at all. If you want to check your friends' politics, take them to see this conservative comedy and watch the reaction. Committed liberals won't laugh at conservative humor and vice versa. If they don't agree on the joke's basic philosophical premise, the sting will miss the spot and the joker will be shrugged off as a pathetic fool (for reference see conservative reaction to any of the David Letterman shows in the last ten years). |
While canvassing neighborhoods in Ohio this Sunday, Barack Obama advised a tax-burdened plumber not to worry about money because under his presidency money will disappear since it will no longer have any meaning anyway. Instead, all Americans will be living off
Obama's highly nutritive WealthSpread™ formula that is surprisingly low in effort and is being promoted by a group of leading nutritionists known as the Cook Fringe of the Democrat Party under the brand name "I Can't Believe It's Not Earned!"
"Your new tax plan is going to tax me more, isn't it?" the plumber asked...
It is a matter of common knowledge that the old-fashioned idea of One Nation Undivided is incompatible with diversity and multiculturalism. For the same reason, the concept of One Obama Logo For All has been recently found at conflict with the presidential hopeful's philosophy of catering to each minority group with a different set of words and images. As a
result, his campaign has unveiled a new collection of ethnically-specific Obama logos to match each minority's pre-approved role, legend, and grievances, in full compliance with the divide-and-conquer revolutionary doctrine developed by Antonio Gramsci and perfected by Saul Alinsky.
Sing for Change chronicles a recent Sunday afternoon, when children, on their own will, gathered to sing original songs in the belief that their singing would lift up our communities for the coming election. Light, hope, courage and love shine through these nonvoting children who believe that their very best contribution
to the Obama campaign is to sing.
As a glorious preview of improvements to political freedoms in an Obama administration, his campaign directed the third phase for the Current Truth Squads' assault on counterrevolutionary holdouts: Legal Stormtruthers. A group of high-ranking Missouri apparatchiks - including
St. Louis sheriffs and top prosecutors - are threatening to target anyone they determine is contradicting the Current Truth™ about their chosen candidate for President. "This is the radical change we've been waiting for, and there's more where it came from," commented the local Truth Squad Standartenfuehrer on condition of anonymity.

| People's Karaoke: Turn up Your Speakers! | |
Obama's Isle
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The Times, We
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Yesterday the National Organization of Community Organizers bestowed its most prestigious award on George W Bush for outstanding work in the organization of communities in Iraq and Afghanistan.
"It's truly an honor to receive such a covetized award," the president said in a few brief remarks at the ceremony honoring his achievement, "but we cannot forget that this was made possible only through the work and dedication of our excellent military personnel." Progressives everywhere were on their feet, chanting Progress! Progress!, applauding, cheering, and waving American flags.
Our Department has created a curriculum out of thin air and in a big hurry, enabling persons with some loose $100,000 to spend it on an undergraduate degree in the exciting new field of Obamology (the study of Obama.) Qualified candidates (i.e. those with extra $100,000) successfully completing 30 credit hours will obtain a B.O. degree (Bachelor of Obamology), which
will not lead to a career or paying job or any such corporate entrapment, but it will help make you feel as if you are serving the community while you're hanging around on the street corner.
A view at today's security issues from the distant future. Works as a great standalone video regardless of the fact that it is, in fact, the KG3's answer to American Centurion, the latest political short from the makers of BLUE BALLED and the New York-based TruthThroughAction.org, an organization creating online videos in support of "progressive" issues and candidates.
Mr. President: First the good news: your approval ratings have jumped dramatically in the last two weeks. You are now at 15% approval which is your highest in the last eighteen months. Primarily, this is due to your decision to stay away from all press conferences that do not use teleprompters.
The restoration of the Fairness Doctrine has enabled us better to manage the information coming out about the various problems of the Administration. The New York Times is continuing to work with us on getting your message out to their 86 subscribers, who are behind you 100% of the time.
The Book of Invesco![]() |
GET OUT THERE NOW! GET OUT! GET OUT! HE IS RAINING ON THE MESSIAH'S PARADE! HE IS RAINING ON THE MESSIAH'S PARADE! SARAH PALIN IS INEXPERIENCED! SHE HAS NO EXPERIENCE! SHE IS A GOVERNOR -- A GOVERNOR! SHE WAS NEVER A COMMUNITY ACTIVIST! FOR THE LOVE OF THE MESSIAH! RUN THE TAPES OF THE TEMPLE CORONATION! MCSAME IS CHANGING THE STORY! INEXPERIENCE! SHE IS DAN QUAYLE! SHE! SHE! SHE IS A SHE! DO SOMETHING! ANYTHING! GET JOE BIDEN! BOOK JOE BIDEN! SWEET MERCIFUL STALIN! |
This is an Internet version of Victor Vashi's original book, which is long out of print and the publisher no longer exists. The message of this book is so vital and well delivered we felt it a shame not to share it with the world.
Especially considering the recent attempts by Russia's ruling elite to bring back the glory of the good old USSR.
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Crowds Scream as Ferguson Mows for Gold
In a stunning upset here at Beijing, Lamar Ferguson of Marietta, GA, won gold in the men's 3/4 acre lawnmower event over the heavily favored Mexican champion, Pedro Rodriguez.
Our special correspondent Blogunov, who is in Beijing making sure that all events receive equal coverage, interviewed Ferguson for the People's Cube.

Markos Moulitsas, the founder of the completely balanced and level-headed mainstream blog, The Daily Kos, broke down in tears during a CNN interview yesterday, exclaiming, "Leave Barack alone!" The dramatic moment occurred while discussing the latest scandal involving the Obama campaign's illegal acceptance of
large donations from Palestinians residing in the Gaza strip.
The recently surfaced pictures of Senator John Kerry partying with a group of underage intoxicated female voters underscored the urgent need for Party-approved pickup lines, so that progressive leaders would no longer embarrass the movement with lame offers to "play
socialized medicine," or brag about their "really small carbon footprint." If applied correctly, such pickup lines would save the working people and the middle class of this country innumerable hours they would rather devote to advancing progress in their communities.
Below are some of our suggestions, broken down by categories. Feel free to add your own.

In a brilliant move, which media pundits are describing as audacious, Barack Obama has chosen himself to be his own running mate. "That's how I roll," Obama told reporters in a briefly held brief briefing during the intermission of a Bon Jovi concert, after which he dropped the microphone with a loud thump. As he left the stage, members of the press corps ripped off
their shirts and threw them toward the stage, while their female colleagues threw their panties, all of them experiencing what can only be described as "minimally disguised orgasms."
Despite the predictions that Barack Obama would not act on his promise to lower the sea levels until he officially becomes President, the presumptive Democratic nominee went ahead and lowered the oceans last month in a hectic attempt to boost his own shrinking poll numbers. However, the resulting growth of landmass turned into a mixed blessing when it unexpectedly
revealed the lost world of Atlantis with a history so shocking and controversial that Obama is now contemplating re-sinking the island by returning the seas to their previous levels.
What the artifacts of Atlantis have told the world, is a story of the demise of a once great nation whose citizens grew spoiled and apathetic as they forgot the reasons for their success and allowed a sense of entitlement and self-loathing to set in.
WARNING: These videos contain extremely forward-thinking language. Send your children (if any) to play in the street or something before watching.
CHAPTER 2 - THE HIGH SKOOL YEARSBarack Obama attended high school (or was it school, high? Nah, go with the first one) at the prestigious George Orwell Academy for the Political Performing Arts on the West Side of Chicago. There, he met his best friends for the next few years, Fat Albert and Rerun.
CHAPTER 1 - THE BEGINNING OF THE START
Barack Obama was born Steven Urkel in a log cabin near Springfield, Illinois. His father was a militant piano tuner from one of those African countries where they change the national boundaries every other week. His mother was a loan officer at the Oppressed Proletariat Bank and Trust Company where she spent her days rejecting loans to people who had little more to cling to than God and guns. As a communist, she hated that her job forced her to oppress the poor and disenfranchised; but, also as a communist, she loved power and control so she threw herself into her work with alacrity. His father, not finding a large number of militant pianos in the American Great Plains, left the fledgling family for places with more bellicose musical tastes, leaving young Steven and his mom to fight capitalism alone.
The scandalous new cover of New Yorker Magazine, depicting Barack Obama dressed as a Muslim and his wife Michelle as a militant black supremacist, turns out to be nothing more than the first step in a bold new Democrat strategy of playing both hands while the opponent simply watches, stated Earnest Trutok, Assistant Deputy Undersecretary of Media Relations in the
Obama Camp. "We have prepared a large pile of dirty and revolting images that show Barack and his family in a much worse light than this," Trutok added, admitting that the forthcoming cartoon is jarringly out-of-place in the traditionally progressive New Yorker. "We have no choice but to run them ourselves in the friendly media due the refusal of the Republican Party to play its proper role in the final months of the campaign," Trutok stated.
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Jesse Jackson's nut envy is understandable once you realize the power and the magnitude of Obama's testicles.The fact that the former Democratic presidential candidate and civil rights leader Rev. Jesse Jackson wanted
to cut out some of Barack Obama's nuts for himself was hardly a surprise to anyone familiar with their miraculous properties. For a long time, people from all cultures of America and beyond have sought to incorporate Obama's nuts into their lives, both as objects of beauty and as tools for the body, mind and spirit.
Every Obama's nut is unique with various properties and characteristics and has the ability to induce hope, as well as store, receive, and transmit energy. Other legendary properties include the ability to attract compassion and understanding of the media, reveal the location of other people's money, ward off unwanted inquiries, and prevent drug overdose.
Once again life imitates the People's Cube as Iran's Propaganda Department releases a photoshopped picture of a missile launch that directly follows our earlier advice to them, to photoshop their own fakes instead of
stealing them from the People's Cube.
As you may remember, in Dec. 2007, Iran's official propaganda website used our spoof image "Iran heart Jews" to illustrate a "current truth" that Jews are welcome in the Islamic Republic of Iran (see below).
The KG3 IS PROUD TO ANNOUNCE A NEW CAMPAIGN WITH A SOLUTION TO THE NATIONAL ENERGY CRISIS:
We urge the congress to shut up and open ANBR (the Algore Numbskull Baldspot Refuge)
DRILL HERE. DRILL NOW. DRILL AL.*
Satellite imagery reveals that despite protests by Greenazi groups of "damage to pristine forestation!", the area targeted for drilling is, in fact barren of any foliage whatsoever. The first glimpse of gore's "flesh tone beanie" at the democrat convention in august 2000...
Not since Dylan went electric have the liberal progressives felt so alienated and hurt by a pop culture icon's sudden change from a familiar folksy sound to the sort of
contrived distortion that one often hears closer to the center.
But it turns out that Obama's sudden rightward shift has an easy and rational explanation: he has an evil twin who often poses as Good Obama and spouts disturbingly non-progressive views. The absolute resemblance of the Obama twins makes it almost impossible to distinguish between the two, although it has been reported that Evil Obama wears a goatee.
On the Fourth of July Americans will be cynically celebrating the greatest setback world progress has ever endured in all of human history. The rest of humankind will, of course, be grieving over the dark day when the United States of America was born. To understand the full scope of this tragedy we must look back at the pre-7/04 world and see what it was like to
live on planet Earth before 1776.
Prior to July 4, 1776, not a single person in the world starved, got sick, worked hard for a living, or experienced any pain and anxiety. No one had ever been oppressed or unfairly exploited because the oppressive and unfair American system had not yet been created.
It all started one night when I was talking to my friend on the phone. We were discussing the best way to impeach Bush when suddenly we heard a strange clicking noise. It was like someone had picked up the receiver on another line, but different, and more sinister. We paused for a moment then continued. I went first: "I think the FBI is listening to us. Switch to the
code words." "Why would they listen to us?" my friend asked. "Code words!" I reminded him. "Oh, um, spoon rocket splindledum Bush... how do I say impeach again?" "Brad Pitt!" ...
The recent sightings of Che Guevara's iconic image next to prominent members of the progressive community must have been a harbinger of things to come - for just hours ago in the
blessed city of Denver, on the eve of the honorable and equitable Democratic Party convention, the ghost of Che appeared in the night to a secretly convened meeting of the Party leadership.
Thus spoke Che: "Friends, muchachos, comrades, fellow revolutionaries: Listen carefully to my words, for I have been granted leave from the netherworld only for a sufficient time to deliver a prophecy that shall guide your social policy when you take the reins of power ...
In another distraction meant to keep American voters away from the real issues, Fox News channel announced today that the GOP is in possession of a birth certificate proving beyond doubt that Barack Obama's real birthplace is, in fact, planet Lappa IV, located in the Alpha Quadrant and inhabited by a splinter group of the Ferengi species, who have
developed a highly collectivist culture based on the principles of socialist acquisition and redistribution of wealth.
Inspired by the recent US Supreme Court ruling to grant all detainees Habeas Corpus rights, three major American networks are about to launch new legal drama series that feature lawyers litigating in defense of armed Muslim bystanders picked up on the battlefield and wrongly accused of being enemy
combatants. Quick spin-offs of such successful shows as Law & Order and Boston Legal are in the works at ABC and NBC, while CBS promises an original sitcom about a lawyer who not only defends accused terrorists, but is himself a terrorist.
In the words of Boston Legal's creator David E. Kelley, "This court decision gives Hollywood elites a rare opportunity to correct American biases toward terrorists...
Some of the dire consequences of political inbreeding in Blue States.
This is a parody of TruthThroughAction.org's short film, Blue Balled. The original film, horribly edited, has a message so badly cobbled together that to parody it is like whacking a pinata with a boat oar, sans blindfold. But we couldn't resist. The film is so self-satisfyingly smug it has a virtual "kick me" sign on it.
"God is dead, and we have killed him." So said the great philosopher Friedrich Nietzsche. Thus, there is a void that can be exploited in the herd that is the American voting population." With these words opened the first neo-ecumenical council of world pseudo-religions held June 10 - 13, 2008, in Ventnor City, New Jersey. "We are here to proclaim the arrival of
an Enlightened Being who will lead us to Justice, Peace, Health and Wholeness. All the evils in the world are the Fault of the Bushitler, and it is time to fix that.
With the refrain that "it is all Bush's fault" echoing through the halls, it was little surprise that the New-Age Faiths offered their unanimous endorsement to Senator Barack Hussein Obama's presidential campaign.
OTTAWA (Reuters) - Royal Mounted Police have launched a more extensive crackdown on "social corruption" such as women flouting Islamic dress codes on Monday.
"In its wider crackdown which has started from Saturday, police will confront those who appear in public in an indecent way and will also seal off shops selling un-Islamic dress," the newspaper said, quoting an unnamed police official.
Barack Obama has unveiled a new plan for equitable consumption and distribution of global energy, aimed to level the playing field and give Americans a realistic chance to become accepted as equals by members of the global community. "If you were born a sheepherder in a nomadic village in Sub Saharan Africa, why shouldn't you be getting the same quotas of
gasoline, food, and electricity as an American consumer?" explains Iona Morningwood, Senior Policy Advisor on matters of resource allowance for the Obama campaign.

Sean Penn had long ago wondered about the source for his irrational disdain for America and its values. At home or on the movie set, the progressive actor would often find himself muttering, "The Great Satan must be destroyed!" but couldn't quite put his finger on the reasons why. His mysterious predisposition towards wife-beating, accentuated by wearing a mustache, made him wonder on many occasions, who he could blame for it. "I knew it couldn't be my fault," the Oscar-winning actor told us. "Individual responsibility is a sham invented by the Republicans to put minorities in jail. So I couldn't blame my own character. It had to be my genetics or my upbringing. I didn't grow up in a ghetto, unfortunately - so it had to be the genetic thing. But which oppressed ethnic minority was I part of?"
To celebrate the next phase of the Obamunist Revolution, we submit this anthem for His Obamaness (formerly known as Venus by the Shocking Blue).
The Goddess on the Mountain Top
She's thinkin' she could beat the Man
Got toppled by a thousand fools
all chanting "Yes We Can!"
He's got it!
Obama, he's got it!
He's the savior-
He's on fire-
He's your Messiah!
(Dante's Inferno, 7th Level) - Senator Dick Durbin's (D-IL) comment "The hottest ring in Hell is reserved for those in politics who attack their opponents' families" made to NBC's Norah O'Donnell has sent shockwaves to evil thugs around the world, who thought they were a shoe-in for the
top hot spot in the eternal pit of damnation and hellfire. An assortment of Nazis, Communists, terrorists, and other violent and sadistic figures were found consoling each other shortly after Durbin's official announcement.
The Party looks kindly at your attempts to correct and improve history by unobtrusively modifying the Google logo on notable calendar dates. For years you have zealously informed the masses about progressive and useful events like Earth Day or Earth Hour, while purposefully ignoring Memorial Day (no logo change on this reactionary American holiday). Most recently, you enlightened the unwashed about the Spanish artist Velázquez on June 6 without mentioning the Allied Invasion of Normandy on D-Day, a celebration of which would indeed be offensive to National Socialists.
American automakers responded with great enthusiasm to yesterday's decision by General Motors to compost its gas-guzzling business model and close four pickup truck and SUV plants - a unilateral gesture of good will towards the environment that will result in 10,000 lost jobs.
The automaker communities are widely celebrating the event with eco-friendly block parties, Earth fairs, outdoor concerts of New Age music, drum circles in the wilderness, meditations, body painting, and unrhymed poetry readings that venerate the earth as a living, spiritual being that feels pain when it is bring drilled for oil.

Dr. Pipewailer's research into the effect of politics in college-aged women examined the lives of several politically active females from early in their education to the present day. It revealed what appears to be a disturbing trend...
The recent International Conference on Islamic Unity and Wakefulness in the 21st Century in Tehran became a fiasco as it failed to keep the delegates awake long enough for the photo ops. Soon after they were seated, the attendees began to doze off and fall from their seats, with nobody left alert enough to pick them up. The conference was
closed on the second day after the neighbors complained that the continuous snoring was making their pets paranoid.
The tone of the event was set by the Director of the Expediency Council of Iran, who nodded off before finishing his welcoming address. "Today more than ever, the Islamic World is in need of wakefulness of Muslims," he said as he slowly slid behind the pulpit.

WHO ARE THEY?
Barack Obama's massive pre-primary rally in Portland, OR, was aided in no small part by the appearance of an uber-hip band. Their gimmick? They start each performance with the Soviet national anthem.![]() |
Having successfully shed the burden of conservative values, the Republican National Committee has retooled and is now launching a new ad campaign to let the American people know that Democrats aren't the only party of empty slogans and slick marketing techniques. Below is a sneak preview of the new RNC banners, print ads, and promotional items you will be seeing
often in the coming months.

Presenting new hit single from the greatest songwriting team the world has ever known:
BOSTON, May 17 - Reuters reported that "U.S. Sen. Edward Kennedy, a leading Democrat and patriarch of a prominent U.S. political dynasty, suffered a seizure on Saturday but hours later was talking with family at his side in a
Boston hospital."
The unverbalized question on everyone's mind is, has the Empress finally initiated the feared nuclear sequence by terminating the most influential superdelegate who was among the first to abandon her and join Obama's faction?
Join the pre-emptive memorial thread.
On May 2, Chile's Chaiten Volcano released a gigantic cloud of emissions composed of ash, steam, smoke, and various oddball gases whose estimated amount equals to one trillion cow farts, a UN-sponsored climate change study
revealed. "In just one day, this volcano set the Kyoto Protocol back 15 years, obliterating the otherwise outstanding success of our multi-billion dollar efforts to curb the release of cow farts into the atmosphere," complained Chairman of Intergovernmental Panel on Cow Farts (IPCF) Rajendra K. Pachauri at
an emergency conference at Grand Plaza Hotel in New York yesterday. "Therefore, we demand that this eruption be considered unscientific and thus disqualified from inclusion into climate change models. Need I mention that it wasn't sanctioned by the the United Nations?"
Neither snow nor rain nor heat nor gloom of night stays these couriers of progress from exploring the wide range of tasks their sexual organs can accomplish. Thinking is one of them.
I once started writing a comment on the Offensive Arts thread but it turned out bigger and more serious than I had expected. It kept growing the next day and the day after that. When it was fully grown I trimmed it a bit, brushed off some odd pieces, and sent it to Pajamas Media.
Who or what are The KG3? And why? Perhaps it is not wise to ask too many questions.
This new section is a must see. And when the Party says you must, it means that you must.

PEOPLE'S NEWSWIRE
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DETROIT, MICHIGAN - Post-May Day depression is a growing malady that affects many progressives and pro-Communists each year, usually beginning late in the afternoon on May 1 and continuing until the morning of the next May Day. For some, it is a result of too much sign-making and short-range marching with very few people giving a crap. Many left-wing agitators in the
United States and other free nations have mild symptoms, but others are subjected to an almost paralyzing agony.
This article shows how dejected collectivists around the world can combat May Day depression by just taking a few simple precautions.
4th Official May Day Signal to Strong Obamunists, Hillary Operatives, and Fifth Column McCain Supporters:
Comrades! Such Progress Our Progressive Progressivism the World Has Never Seen!
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Can't win at the ballot box? Get a Chevy Bill Ayers!
No money down and your daddy pays the rest! |
![]() Carter hard at work as Hamas members prepare to launch fireworks in celebration. |
After finishing Habitat for Hamsters in San Francisco, President Jimmy Carter went on to start a new Habitat for Hamas project in Gaza, building new homes for families whose homes were destroyed by Israeli bulldozers in retaliation for suicide bombings. |
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Dodging the flak over his description of typical small-town rednecks as those who turn to guns and Bibles if left without government supervision, Obama has once again skillfully turned the tables on his opponents with the same maneuver he used during the Jeremiah Wright "controversy": he
returned to Philadelphia and
delivered a sweeping speech on the legacy of rednecks in a post-redneck society and the importance of establishing a full government control over the redneck territories - a speech that political strategists agree hearkens back to those of America's founders, and deserves a similar place in history.
To many progressives Soviet space program symbolized the superiority of planned socialist economy over the greedy and selfish capitalist market. But the Greater Good requires sacrifices. The very first unprecedented and heroic sacrifice in space was made not by Gagarin, but by Laika the Space Dog, who volunteered to be the first living creature in space four years prior
to Gagarin. And unlike that of Gagarin's, Laika's flight plan didn't involve a return from orbit, which makes this dog's dedication to progress and socialism even more endearing to the hearts of all common people around the world, and a shining example for all progressives to follow.
Now that the idea of social awareness and class struggle has reached American pulpits, it was only a matter of time before progressive historical revisionism left its academic confines and flooded the nation's churches, raising consciousness of the worshiping masses and prompting them to re-evaluate archaic concepts of "faith," "freedom," and "morality."
Armed with the winning theory of class struggle, more and more oppressed churchgoers are finding the courage to speak out against violations of human rights in the ancient world, and indeed against the entire litany of "traditional" "conceptions" based on the "Bible" and its "teachings."
In this sense, the conference of religious leaders and scholars from around the world, titled "From Security to Homelessness: Moses and the Renegade Exodus of the Hebrews" was the first major event of its kind, focusing on Moses' fraudulent activities and the resulting major humanitarian disaster called the Exodus.

From our Back in the News department
Western terror labs have finally produced a weapon so horrific that it has shaken Islamic world to the core, making over a billion people from Morocco to Indonesia fear for the survival of their freedoms, morals, beliefs, cultures, governments, and the very life itself. The new weapon of terror, the so-called "Cartoon," is capable of delivering an equivalent of one million Hiroshima bombs, resulting in a horrendous mass destruction like none seen on Earth before.
"I see no way to combat this horrific infidel weapon other than by balanced, fair, and rational hostage-taking, bomb-throwing, and embassy-burning, based on strict Islamic law and mutual understanding of our commin goal, which is the Islamization of Earth. These methods have proven efficient in dealing with the West in the past..."

See previous glorious celebrations >>
International Workers Fools Day![]() |
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Play a game with the MSM: escape from reality with stories of myth and magic!
The mystery letter of the day is "D."
Why don't we hear this phrase in the news anymore: "The Culture of Corruption" as in: "Culture of corruption is so pre-2006 elections"?
The answer is in the magical letter "D" next to a politician's name, which tends to vanish mysteriously in news media reports!
Brought to you by the MSM: "Indulging your fantasies because the truth is just too hard to bear"
The next mystery letter of the day: "-"
Did I tell you how I organized and piloted a relief mission to bring penicilin, amoxycilin, and 1,000,000 MREs for the starving ChildrenT of Bosnia? I remember like it was yesterday. The tiny island nation of Bosnia was alone in its war against fascism. America had yet to enter the war, but the ChildrenT cried for help and something had to be done. Did I mention
the ChildrenT? So I also brought 10,000,000 condoms on a tip from Donna Shalala.
When we entered Bosnian airspace the sky was filled with the Serbian Luftwaffe intent on shooting down our humanitarian expedition. Sinbad manned the rear gun turret and Sheryl Crow... uhm... womanned the belly turret. The flak was very heavy in that dark, cold and rainy night. We could see the bright flashes and black oily smoke of the bursting shells. We had never flown a night mission before. It was hell!
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"I can no more disown Reverend Wright than I can disown class struggle and redistribution of wealth," said charismatic Obama who is believed to stand above the racial divide. His speech was often interrupted by a thunderous applause from the audience of political activists and news reporters, so united in their eagerness that it was impossible to tell one from the other.

The New Modern Library's Progressive Bible is written within a scope of only 200 words to make it accessible to everyone. It is produced in various versions, each of which targets a wide range of demographics, from God-free to God-lite (less than 3% opiate for the masses) to the Rick James "Superfreak" Version, and is suitable for any occasion - pick one that best fits your current moral needs. In the Egalitarian Bible, for instance, God is equal to everybody else in the story. He votes, drives a hybrid, is in debt, uses recreational drugs, hates Bush, participates in peace marches, complains about the minimum wage, and feels lousy about nothing like everybody else.

According to a Wall Street Journal article, suggestively titled Spitzer's Rise and Fall, the governor liked to play rough. The transcripts from the bugged Washington hotel room, made available to The People's Cube, seem to confirm it. Heard from inside Room 871
on Valentine's Eve, 2008, shortly after 10pm:
"Have you been bad?"
"Ooooh, I've been a big, bad corporation...."
The famous Beltway bordello that was shut down after 13 years of impeccable service last October is now fighting back with a vengeance. Madam Deborah Jeane Palfrey and her lawyer claim their business
was in no way different from the generally accepted liberal practices of simulating love and compassion for the downtrodden with the purpose of amassing large fortunes and obtaining power. "Shutting down a bordello in Washington, D.C. equates to the criminalization of the liberal lifestyle and politics of progressivism," says Madam's civil lawyer, stating that sex workers are being unfairly singled out from the general Beltway population of politicians, lobbyists, media celebrities, news
editors, journalists, and special interest groups.
BUY ELIOT SPITZER GEAR HERE!
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Still glowing with the success of his sting operations against gun sellers in five other states, Mayor Bloomberg said it was also time to hold major airlines and large airplane manufacturers accountable for the thousands of deaths caused each year by illegal airplanes.
Speaking to a bipartisan council of mayors opposed to airplane violence, Bloomberg said, "There is no issue more important than fighting crime. On 9-11 thousands of Americans were murdered with airplanes, and most airplanes used in crimes are hijacked illegally...
<OUT OF KARAKTER>
Hugo Chavez is threatening to invade neighboring Colombia after he gave $300 million to the Marxist terrorists of FARC. On March 15-19 2008, the international Left is going to hold traditional "anti-war" rallies. Will they condemn the fascistic regime of Hugo Chavez? Not likely. Progressives don't oppose wars started by socialist dictators. Their idea of "peace" was best expressed by Karl Marx: "Peace is the absence of opposition to socialism."

Warning: some questions are more equal than others, and some answers will make you want to slap yourself upside the head with a shovel.
Although vPlugs are a valuable tool to assist you in voting for a candidate you don't support, Voter Aides Inc. is not responsible for broken campaign promises or any other use of presidential powers. We make no claims of a smaller government, lower tax rates, strict constructionist judges, free speech protection, appropriate interrogation of captured terrorists, continued Gitmo policy, securing our borders, drilling in ANWR, and rejection of man-made global warming myths.
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Last month Comrade Red Square gave an interview to Pajamas Media about the heroic struggle of the masses to shake off the reactionary conspiracy of the Dead White Males. We didn't publish it then because this Party organ was busy adapting the current truth to the changing Party line.
But that time is over! As one of the most outspoken organs in America, there's a time to speak up, and that time has come!Culture = A Massive Sham Perpetrated by Rich Capitalist Oppressors
Laugh all you want at George Lakoff's advice for the Democrats to win by framing the debate and altering the vocabulary. Language is a key battleground in culture wars, and as soon as you step into your opponent's frame of reference and start identifying bad weather as climate change, illiteracy as public education, and freedom as desperate need of care and supervision, you may lose not just the debate...
I am His Excellency President for Life, Field Marshall Al Hadji Doctor Idi Amin Dada, VC ['Victorious Cross'], DSO, MC, Lord of All the Beasts of the Earth and Fishes of the Sea and Conqueror of the British Empire in Africa in General and Uganda in Particular, and Professor of Geography. I have come here to endorse Hillary Rodham's presidency and answer any of your questions in this regard.
Roger Waters takes 'The Wall' Concerts to 57 Islamic Countries to Protest against Sharia Law and Execution of Homosexuals by having Walls Fall on Them
Having supported every wall-related cause and courageously stared down the free world over hundreds of minor injustices involving walls, co-founder and former lead singer of Pink Floyd Roger Waters has announced that he will take 'The Wall' performances to the Muslim world to protest the practice of crushing homosexuals with walls.
"I've already dragged my Wall concerts around the world to protest against walls, fences, and miscellaneous types of enclosures," explains Waters.
The masses often ask me, "Comrade Gore, why not power our houses by collecting the static electricity created by rubbing woolens and balloons against our hair and skin? Is this not the true People's Power that will end forever the greed and oppression of Big Electricity by giving them a jolt of the Revolution?"
Here's my answer. I came up with it during one of my Leer Jet trips to Asia. The place was crawling with useless, carbon-breathing babies. The babies are the ultimate mindless consumers. They don't contribute anything to society except waste, gas, noise, and general disturbance...
LAS VEGAS--On the eve of the Nevada MegaCaucuses, presidential hopefuls of both parties are intensifying efforts to woo local voters with pledges to bail out gamblers who have lost more than 40% of their income, and by offering bold stimulus programs to cap casinos' minimum table bet requirement at $5, and $3 on Megabucks slot machines. Additionally, the candidates propose
unionizing "temporary gambling collectives" and setting up subsidized "second chance" training programs to increase the winning potential of flustered heads of households. Proposals also include incentives to struggling Sin City industries, from catering to prostitution and strip clubs, as well as various rescue packages to casinos that were hardest hit by Jumbo Jackpot payouts.
Last night we got an email from Pookie at Free Republic:
"...I run the daily cartoon thread at Free Republic where I occasionally post your wonderful work. IAC, I post more than 13,000 cartoons per year & at the end of each month several of us select the top 15 for that month (at the end of the year, members of Free Republic can vote on the resulting 180 cartoons in the Best Of The Year preliminary round voting)... Your cartoon finished 10th for Best Cartoon of 2007! I've attached your "trophy...."
A syndicated Canadian columnist introduces the People's Cube to his readers:
A GAME THAT NO ONE EVER LOSES MAKES A PERFECT STATEMENT ABOUT OUR TIMES
John Martin, Special to The Province
Published Wednesday, January 16, 2008
Every era is partially defined by the popular culture that emerged during that period. And now there's a product that speaks volumes about today's particular point in time...
If you are a foul-mouthed progressive candidate suffering from a poor public perception, this product is guaranteed to leave your tongue and the nation's memory sparkling clean and ready for your leadership. PeopleSpeakT mouth detergent and word-replacement formula works by filtering out inappropriate statements, automatically replacing them with nurturing words that reach
into people's hearts and establish the positive model of care, motherhood, breastfeeding, and unconditional handouts. To prove its effectiveness, our scientists took some of the most vulgar statements made by Hillary Clinton over the years - and converted them...
Industrial Nations Threaten Globe Again
Do you feel miserable and guilty? You should! Obviously, in the past year you didn't care enough! You MUST make a resolution that every day of this year, you will make at least ten people around you feel guilty and miserable. Spread the guilt! We are here to help! As soon as the number of miserable people reaches a tipping point, progress will
occur. By not acting now, you will become Bush's willing accomplice! If you don't want that to happen, forward this letter as instructed!
Hillary Clinton yesterday unveiled her new campaign theme highlighting her experience as a favorite American folk hero. Delivered in colorful vivid oratory and sweeping grandeur is a vision of her bold campaign message: "My experience as a mythical creature has fully prepared me to deal with the unexpected."
"There I was!" she declared, throwing her arms akimbo like an old war horse at the hunting lodge preparing to tell a tale of life and death on the Saranghetti. "Iranian student radicals to the right of me, Mullahs to the left. Was I frightened? No. I planted my feet firmly in the sand, I looked those savages straight in the eye and I said: you release those hostages, you! You release those uninsured middle-class Americans from our embassy right now before we take office! Don't get me mad, you people don't know who you're dealing with! And the rest is history."
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Gosnell's office in Benghazi raided by the IRS: mainstream media's worst cover-up challenge to date
IRS targeting pro-gay-marriage LGBT groups leads to gayest tax revolt in U.S. history
After Arlington Cemetery rejects offer to bury Boston bomber, Westboro Babtist Church steps up with premium front lawn plot
Boston: Obama Administration to reclassify marathon bombing as 'sportsplace violence'
Study: Success has many fathers but failure becomes a government program
US Media: Can Pope Francis possibly clear up Vatican bureaucracy and banking without blaming the previous administration?
Michelle Obama praises weekend rampage by Chicago teens as good way to burn calories and stay healthy
This Passover, Obama urges his subjects to paint lamb's blood above doors in order to avoid the Sequester

White House to American children: Sequester causes layoffs among hens that lay Easter eggs; union-wage Easter Bunnies to be replaced by Mexican Chupacabras
Time Mag names Hugo Chavez world's sexiest corpse
Boy, 8, pretends banana is gun, makes daring escape from school
Study: Free lunches overpriced, lack nutrition
Oscars 2013: Michelle Obama announces long-awaited merger of Hollywood and the State
Joe Salazar defends the right of women to be raped in gun-free environment: 'rapists and rapees should work together to prevent gun violence for the common good'
Dept. of Health and Human Services eliminates rape by reclassifying assailants as 'undocumented sex partners'
Kremlin puts out warning not to photoshop Putin riding meteor unless bare-chested
Deeming football too violent, Obama moves to introduce Super Drone Sundays instead
Japan offers to extend nuclear umbrella to cover U.S. should America suffer devastating attack on its own defense spending
Feminists organize one billion women to protest male oppression with one billion lap dances
Urban community protests Mayor Bloomberg's ban on extra-large pop singers owning assault weapons
Concerned with mounting death toll, Taliban offers to send peacekeeping advisers to Chicago
Karl Rove puts an end to Tea Party with new 'Republicans For Democrats' strategy aimed at losing elections
Answering public skepticism, President Obama authorizes unlimited drone attacks on all skeet targets throughout the country
Skeet Ulrich denies claims he had been shot by President but considers changing his name to 'Traps'
White House releases new exciting photos of Obama standing, sitting, looking thoughtful, and even breathing in and out
New York Times hacked by Chinese government, Paul Krugman's economic policies stolen
White House: when President shoots skeet, he donates the meat to food banks that feed the middle class
To prove he is serious, Obama eliminates armed guard protection for President, Vice-President, and their families; establishes Gun-Free Zones around them instead
State Dept to send 100,000 American college students to China as security for US debt obligations
Jay Carney: Al Qaeda is on the run, they're just running forward
President issues executive orders banning cliffs, ceilings, obstructions, statistics, and
other notions that prevent us from moving forwards and upward
Fearing the worst, Obama Administration outlaws the fan to prevent it from being hit by certain objects
World ends; S&P soars
Riddle of universe solved; answer not understood
Meek inherit Earth, can't afford estate taxes
Greece abandons Euro; accountants find Greece has no Euros anyway
Wheel finally reinvented; axles to be gradually reinvented in 3rd quarter of 2013
Bigfoot found in Ohio, mysteriously not voting for Obama
As Santa's workshop files for bankruptcy, Fed offers bailout in exchange for control of 'naughty and nice' list
Freak flying pig accident causes bacon to fly off shelves
Obama: green economy likely to transform America into a leading third world country of the new millennium
Report: President Obama to visit the United States in the near future
Obama promises to create thousands more economically neutral jobs
Modernizing Islam: New York imam proposes to canonize Saul Alinsky as religion's latter day prophet
Imam Rauf's peaceful solution: 'Move Ground Zero a few blocks away from the mosque and no one gets hurt'
Study: Obama's threat to burn tax money in Washington 'recruitment bonanza' for Tea Parties
Study: no Social Security reform will be needed if gov't raises retirement age to at least 814 years
Obama attends church service, worships self
Obama proposes national 'Win The Future' lottery; proceeds of new WTF Powerball to finance more gov't spending
Historical revisionists: "Hey, you never know"
Vice President Biden: criticizing Egypt is un-pharaoh
Israelis to Egyptian rioters: "don't damage the pyramids, we will not rebuild"
Lake Superior renamed Lake Inferior in spirit of tolerance and inclusiveness
Al Gore: It's a shame that a family can be torn apart by something as simple as a pack of polar bears
Michael Moore: As long as there is anyone with money to shake down, this country is not broke
Obama's teleprompters unionize, demand collective bargaining rights
Obama calls new taxes 'spending reductions in tax code.' Elsewhere rapists tout 'consent reductions in sexual intercourse'
Obama's teleprompter unhappy with White House Twitter: "Too few words"
Obama's Regulation Reduction committee finds US Constitution to be expensive outdated framework inefficiently regulating federal gov't
Taking a page from the Reagan years, Obama announces new era of Perestroika and Glasnost
Responding to Oslo shootings, Obama declares Christianity "Religion of Peace," praises "moderate Christians," promises to send one into space
Republicans block Obama's $420 billion program to give American families free charms that ward off economic bad luck
White House to impose Chimney tax on Santa Claus
Obama decrees the economy is not soaring as much as previously decreeed
Conservative think tank introduces children to capitalism with pop-up picture book "The Road to Smurfdom"
Al Gore proposes to combat Global Warming by extracting silver linings from clouds in Earth's atmosphere
Obama refutes charges of him being unresponsive to people's suffering: "When you pray to God, do you always hear a response?"
Obama regrets the US government didn't provide his mother with free contraceptives when she was in college
Fluke to Congress: drill, baby, drill!
Planned Parenthood introduces Frequent Flucker reward card: 'Come again soon!'
Obama to tornado victims: 'We inherited this weather from the previous administration'
Obama congratulates Putin on Chicago-style election outcome
People's Cube gives itself Hero of Socialist Labor medal in recognition of continued expert advice provided to the Obama Administration helping to shape its foreign and domestic policies
Hamas: Israeli air defense unfair to 99% of our missiles, "only 1% allowed to reach Israel"
Democrat strategist: without government supervision, women would have never evolved into humans
Voters Without Borders oppose Texas new voter ID law
Enraged by accusation that they are doing Obama's bidding, media leaders demand instructions from White House on how to respond
Obama blames previous Olympics for failure to win at this Olympics
Official: China plans to land on Moon or at least on cheap knockoff thereof
Koran-Contra: Obama secretly arms Syrian rebels
Poll: Progressive slogan 'We should be more like Europe' most popular with members of American Nazi Party
Obama to Evangelicals: Jesus saves, I just spend
May Day: Anarchists plan, schedule, synchronize, and execute a coordinated campaign against all of the above
Midwestern farmers hooked on new erotic novel "50 Shades of Hay"
Study: 99% of Liberals give the rest a bad name
Obama meets with Jewish leaders, proposes deeper circumcisions for the rich
Historians: Before HOPE & CHANGE there was HEMP & CHOOM at ten bucks a bag
Cancer once again fails to cure Venezuela of its "President for Life"
Tragic spelling error causes Muslim protesters to burn local boob-tube factory
Secretary of Energy Steven Chu: due to energy conservation, the light at the end of the tunnel will be switched off
Obama Administration running food stamps across the border with Mexico in an operation code-named "Fat And Furious"
Pakistan explodes in protest over new Adobe Acrobat update; 17 local acrobats killed
White House: "Let them eat statistics"
Special Ops: if Benedict Arnold had a son, he would look like Barack Obama
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