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Vote In 5 States Or Get No Potatoes In The Winter!

POLL: How many times did you vote/use necro-proxy/bring an undocumented worker to vote?

Poll ended at 11/18/2006, 1:03 pm

1-4
2
12%
5-7
1
6%
8-10
1
6%
11+
13
76%

TOTAL VOTES: 17

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All party members must vote at least 5 times in 3 different congressional districts or else no potatoes in the winter. Using necro-proxies or undocumented workers counts as well.

Vote often for the party of your choice - as long as it is the Democratic Party.

Going forward, since we know that everyone in their right mind wants to vote Democrat anyway, why don't we just forego elections and appoint the Party into the proper offices. Those who refuse to vote Democrat must be mentally incompetent, so instead of wasting people's resources on counting their votes, we should ship them off to the re-education centers where they can redeem their failings by hard corrective labor for the benefit of the Party!

REPORT ON THE PROGRESS OF YOUR CONTINUOUS VOTING EFFORT HERE!


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This is my opinion, but I feel that we should be harder on those who don't vote at least 11+ times. Denying them their potato rations is one thing, throwing them in the Gulag and forgetting about them is another. When the day comes when we do away with secret ballots it will be the day the Party can have a turnout that will far exceed our current average of two billion. It will be a day that will forever strike fear in the wallets of anyone who opposes us!

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Chairman Meow S. Pun wrote:When the day comes when we do away with secret ballots it will be the day the Party can have a turnout that will far exceed our current average of two billion.

In the interest of stemming the nasty voter fraud perpetuated by the evil RepugliKKKans, I propose we start a campaign to do away with the "secret" ballot. Why is it "secret"? What are they hiding anyway? Stealing the elections, thats what!! If everyone knew who voted for who then there would be no more fraud and it would be easier for us to determine who needs to be visited at 3 am by the death squa....er the voting counselors. Agreed?

O'Brien

WAR IS PEACE
FREEDOM IS SLAVERY
IGNORANCE IS STRENGTH

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I have sent the New Peoples Red Army of Nixon clones each to a different county with instructions to vote under a randomly chosen name at their leisure.

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Why Nixon clones? Why not Carter clones, or Mondale clones? Nixon is class enemy #1! He tried to steal classified Party documents from our Watergate Super Headquarters!

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Why Nixon clones?
We stole DNA from him off his toothbrush in his 1972 visit to the Kremlin and genetically re-engineered him to suit our purposes. That was in my Deepthroat book, page 227.

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Chairman Meow S. Pun wrote:Why Nixon clones? Why not Carter clones, or Mondale clones? Nixon is class enemy #1! He tried to steal classified Party documents from our Watergate Super Headquarters!
That's the way to go, Chairman! From now on, history books should say that capitalist criminal Nixon was impeached for stuffing his pants with classified documents and destroying some in the process in order to cover up some despicable and shameful activities ... criminal negligence? Creating a wall between intelligence and law enforcement? Illicit affairs with interns? Raping staffers? Starting a war to distract the country from sex scandal? Land deals? Cattle futures? Drowning a girl under the bridge while drunk? Being a KKK recruiter? Eliminating witnesses? Illegally using hundreds of FBI files to blackmail everyone in Washington? ... all of the above?

The next time anyone accuses one of us with stuff like that, we can say "It was Nixon who done it! Get your facts straight! Go read a history book or something!"

That's what revisionist history is all about.

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Darn it! All the GOOD cemeteries are picked over already.

It's going to be a long winter in the gulag.

Though I've failed miserably in advancing the revolution, perhaps I can redeem myself by blaming the facist voting machines.

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OK, I just took ten bowls of oatmeal to vote, we had no problems getting in and the Party-Approved election officials made sure they all voted the Party ticket.

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I voted 15 times and bought 20 undocumented workers and 20 dead people to the polls.

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Premier Brezhnev wrote:I voted 15 times and bought 20 undocumented workers and 20 dead people to the polls.

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Great work! You'll not starve in January...

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Hey, who said that they voted for less than 11+? They should be purged for that! The poll doesn't lie.

I can't count so I picked the bottom one and submitted it sorry Betty!!

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What do you mean the bottom one? I'm talking about the top 3 choices. Whoever chose those aren't doing their "fair share" of the work.

As if a true party member would vote less than 11 times.
I took all 12 of my former husbands (necro-pixies) to vote.
Looks like there will be potatoes for me and lucky husband number 13 this winter!
Now where did I put that axe?

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Comrade Bubbles,

I admire your total lack of respect for the traditional institution of marriage. I can only hope that in your progressive fueled relations with many anonymous partners you could find it in your heart to one day consider marrying a toaster or a blender. These comrades too long for companionship and do make for good help mates.

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Comrades,

Let's raise a toast of Victory Gin and thank the proletariat, living and dead, for their efforts. We have successfully thwarted the evil Rove-sputin plot to steal this election.

I haven't felt this good since the tanks rolled into Tiananmen Square.

Schastya zdorovya!


Comrades!
The time of Liberation is at hand! We must move quickly to consolidate power as we have only two years before the great unwashed masses realize their mistake. While she has been an essential element in the Revolution, a little or none of Nancy Pelosi (AKA the Shrieking Shrew) goes a long ways. We must begin impeachment proceedings and Congressional purges within the month. I voluteer my services as executioner. Next we will raise the minimum wage followed by an immediate assault on those unauthorized to carry weapons. Finally, we must liberate the Iraqi people by withdrawing the Imperialist Armed forces and restructuring it under the glorious leadership of Comrade Marshal General Ivan Ricardasovich Kerry!

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Komrades:

I not only enlisted the votes my dead relatives, but I enlisted their votes early and often. Theirs was the difference in Virginia S.S.R. and Montana S.S.R.

For the dead, there are no precincts.

So let us smoke great big proletarian cigars in honor of our deceased Komrades--and to this glorious Party victory!

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Comrade Canem,

Are you trying to steal my thunder? ARE YOU TRYING TO STEAL MY THUNDER!? The Peoples Commonwealth of Virginia is MY socialist republik. I TIPPED THE SCALES, me and several odd thousand bowls of oatmeal and a a brigade of obese womyn whose votes count twenty times. I want an apology, I am offended and belittled and I have worked to hard and have silenced to many innocent people to be cast aside like this. Great, now I soiled myself because I am so upset.... Wheres my pills, Susan, get me my pills!

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Komrade Chairman Meow!

In the grand tradition of great Patriot Komrade Kerry, I offer my sincere regrets that you took offense at the efforts of my dead friends and relatives to win the election in Virginia S.S.R. for the glory of the Party.

Nevertheless, your preference for obese womyn over the dead--or rather, the pro-unliving, to be properly PC--conflicts with my thin-skinned liberal senses of equality, conformity, and uniformity. I hope you are not a necrophobe!

There will be no cigar for me today! I must away to my fainting couch. I feel overcome with a case of the vapors...

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Cave Canem wrote:I hope you are not a necrophobe!
What a delicious addition to politically correct arguments and talking points!

Use it when someone dare accuse us of the so-called "voter fraud" - or use it against anybody in any debate as a winning argument.

For example:

Fascist right-winger: "Communism killed 100,000 million people!"
Progressive activist: "What are you, some sort of a necrophobe? 100,000 million people around the world sacrificed their lives so that ingrates like you could enjoy the fruits of Democratic victory this November! You just wait 'til January - you'll be voting Democrat soon enough, you Fascist right-winger!"

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Comrade Canem, I am shocked, appalled, and just full of rage and condemnation. How dare you sir/Madame/it/apple cinnamon oatmeal suggest that I am a "necrophobe". You are insensitive to people of size! How dare you call them obese or "fat", intolerance! INTOLERANCE! Oh dear, I just soiled another pair of clean panties.... I hope your happy comrade Canem, because I'm not! That's it, I'm calling the ACLU and have them smack you around a little bit, where's my special dialing wand? Where is it dammit! Susan! Get me my special dialing wand!

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Komrades! Komrades! Komrades!

Please do not report my activities to the ACLU! My membership will be purged! I will be banished from the Rainbow Coalition! Shunned by PFAW! My San Franciscograd summer cottage will be confiscated, my Garrison Keillor box seats redistributed, my Michael Moore fan club membership revoked, my Daily Kos access denied, my NARAL Pro-Choice America gold-plated coat hanger seized, my Rosie O'Donnell centerfold collection impounded!!!!!!

I must check myself in now to Ivy League gulag for rehabilitation and reeducation. I'll see you all in 30 days.

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Cave Canem wrote:Please do not report my activities to the ACLU! My membership will be purged! I will be banished from the Rainbow Coalition! Shunned by PFAW! My San Franciscograd summer cottage will be confiscated, my Garrison Keillor box seats redistributed, my Michael Moore fan club membership revoked, my Daily Kos access denied, my NARAL Pro-Choice America gold-plated coat hanger seized, my Rosie O'Donnell centerfold collection impounded!!!!!!

I must check myself in now to Ivy League gulag for rehabilitation and reeducation. I'll see you all in 30 days.
At least at the gulag you'll get a chance at a free trial membership at NAMBLA. Please try not to blow that as well.


 
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