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One Man's Reuters Is Another Man's Al-Jazeera

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Who hasn't heard that "one man's terrorist is another man's freedom fighter" - a relatively moral axiom employed by Reuters and other progressive news agencies? Very few, however, realize that it was modeled on an earlier idiom - "one man's trash is another man's treasure" - which, being a legitimate pearl of people's wisdom, lends some of its gloss to Reuters' counterfeit product. We like to call it "truth by association": if it sounds like what we believe is true, it probably is true.

The propaganda value of this logical device cannot be overstated - but it must be handled with caution, lest someone writes: "one man's Reuters is another man's Party organ" or "one man's head is another man's hole in the ground."

That's why, as a public service, we are offering an exercise designed to teach the masses to generate quality "truths" in bulk and on the fly, without thinking. One man's truth is another man's invention, everything is a matter of opinion, and one man's opinion is another man's truth.

MIMICRY
among insects and journalists

ImageMimicry is the close external resemblance of an organism to a completely different species in order to benefit from the mistaken identity. In the world of insects it's a butterfly that looks like an owl's head. In the world of news reporting it's partisan agitprop that looks like journalism, sounds like journalism, and contains words used by real journalists. As a result, some of the gullible readers may think that Reuters' "reporting" could actually be real journalism, when in reality it's only a masking device to spread the ideas of social progress: proletarian solidarity, equality of outcome, redistribution of wealth, and the destruction of reactionary forces as represented by American imperialism. The same goes for the BBC, AP, CNN, MSNBC, CBS, and other progressive organizations in charge of news coverage for the masses. One man's spin is another man's evening news.

Testimonials

ImageThanks to this exercise I learned that absolutely everything is relative. Every objection has a counter-objection. Like, one man's syphilis is another man's political philosophy. After only five minutes of training I was able to call Bill O'Rilley on the radio and win the debate!

Deconstruction

Image The oppressive English language only provides us with a male-chauvinist "man" constant in this formula. Replacing the sexist "man" with neutral "person" (as in "one person's bolts is another person's nuts") does not solve the problem because it excludes animals, vegetables, spirits, household appliances, and generally everything that has eyes or moving parts. Saying that "one man's appliance is another man's sex partner" does not include a notion that a woman may also be using an appliance as a husband, or that the appliance itself may have feelings and deserves to be a subject instead of an object. Perhaps, an ultimate politically correct, non-sexist, non-speciist, non-beingist term would be "thingy," as in

One thingy's thingy is another thingy's thingy


We have just demonstrated to you the concept of Deconstructionist approach to language and meaning, which for over a few decades has been applied by progressive academics, writers, TV producers, movie makers, and news media to recondition the masses to a new, progressive way of thinking.

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After only five minutes of training you will learn how to throw seemingly true statements in the faces of your colleagues, parents, or other class enemies. Watch ideological adversaries writhe in agony as they try to disprove the very formula you're imitating. One man's pain is another man's hobby!

The unstoppable advancement of the daily "truths" generated on a massive scale is going to bring the concept of moral relativity into every living room in America ahead of schedule. The arms on the clock of the revolution will start moving even faster towards midnight than it is warranted by the historical inevitability. Remember: one man's clock is another man's time bomb!

The People's Cube
Truth by Association Game


Associate two words in the standard structure provided, with apologies for lack of gender and species neutrality:

One man's __________
is another man's __________.


Start with pairing concrete objects (e.g., One man's medication is another man's candy), then move gradually to abstract notions (e.g., One man's ignorance is another man's strength), then try a combination of both (e.g., One man's soap drop is another man's lucky chance). You can try to rhyme them (e.g., One man's hope is another man's dope) or use alliterations (e.g., One man's shit is another man's Shinola).

Write down as many as possible, then try to categorize them. There are basically two categories. Be careful not to mix them up.

The Party's Wisdom:


logical fallacies whose very appearance of truth makes them advantageous for the party cause, albeit morally corrupt. Try to create a meaningless slogan with the patina of truth. Something empty yet stunning in its bogus veracity. Something pretty that will only disappoint us when we taste it. Feed us some crap, please. One man's crap is another man's crunchies.

  • One man's yours is another man's mine.
  • One man's free speech is another man's thoughtcrime
  • One man's conspiracy is another man's revolution
  • One man's re-education is another man's forced labor
  • One man's dictator is another man's Dear Leader

The People's Wisdom:


folk sense that is meaningful and maybe even entertaining. These may be broken into as many subcategories as you like. See examples.

INSPIRATIONAL


  • One man's problem is another man's solution
  • One man's molehill is another man's mountain
  • One man's ceiling is another man's floor
  • One man's pet is another man's peeve
  • One man's ass is another man's elbow

RIGHT-WING


  • One man's supply is another man's demand
  • One man's rights are another man's privilege
  • One man's entitlements are another man's taxes
  • One man's taxes are another man's pork barrel
  • One man's stiff is another man's Democrat voter

AMBIGUOUS


  • One man's apples are another man's oranges
  • One man's man is another man's woman
  • One man's pain is another man's gain
  • One man's fork is another man's toast extractor
  • One man's underwear is another man's business suit

Additional five minutes of this exercise will give you enough experience to call radio talk shows and prevail in any debate. After ten minutes you will be ready to have your own talk show with Air America affiliates. Exercise for fifteen minutes, and you can work as a White House correspondent for the New York Times, ready to interview President of the United States.

Imagine this interview:

  • Vile Rightwinger: Folks all over the world deserve to live in freedom.
  • You: One man's freedom is another man's slavery.
  • Vile Rightwinger: I don't actually think that's true.
  • You: One man's truth is another man's lie.
  • Vile Rightwinger: You're just using one and the same formula and substitute variables.
  • You: One man's variable is another man's constant.
  • Vile Rightwinger: You're mimicking the phrase "one man's trash is another man's treasure" and you probably think that if you replace words it'll still be as good as the original.
  • You: One man's original is another man's cliché.
  • Vile Rightwinger: That's nuts. It's as if you can take a recipe for a good clam chowder, randomly replace the ingredients, and think that it'll taste as good as any other soup.
  • You: One man's soup is another man's nuts.
  • Vile Rightwinger: I can play this game too, you know.
  • You: One man's game is another man's work.
  • Vile Rightwinger: Folks like you believe that when you play word games like this, the end result is both meaningful and logical.
  • You: One man's logic is another man's chaos.
  • Vile Rightwinger: Well, it's not only morally ambiguous but also potentially evil. This may add the ring of truth to your reports, but that does not make them either true, or to the thinking person, palatable.
  • You: One man's thinking person is another man's dummy.
  • Vile Rightwinger: Right. And one man's ass is another man's elbow.
  • You: Huh?
  • Vile Rightwinger: It might be funny if it weren't dangerous, because when we play with words, we play with truth, and when people swallow it, they might just choke on it.
  • You: One man's choke is another man's throttle.

Special thanks to Sister Massively Opiated (SMO) for contributing.

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One man's fluff is another man's candidate.
One man's broken condom is another man's stem cell.
One man's roadkill is another man's lucky day.
One man's intern is another man's humidor.

One Man's Political Satire website Is Another Man's Day Job

One Man's Global Warming Movie Is Another Man's Kinling

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I hope to include Red Square's brilliant research in my doctorate thesis paper. I am working diligently (but not overly autonomously) for the greater good of the Party to earn my Doctorate of Useful Idiocy (DUI), as it will be of much more utility to the party than my current professional accreditation of UPMWL (untrained puny-minded weak liberal), which also makes a really lame acronym.

One People's Cube is All People's Cube
S.M.O.

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And, there is the Dialectical Science category. From this morning's newspaper:

One man's dictatorship is another man's true Democracy.

Chavez Given Broad New Powers wrote:"Dictatorship is what we had before, a dictatorship of the few," he said. "Of course, we want to install a dictatorship, the dictatorship of a true democracy. You, us, together [are] building a different country."
Venezuelan Vice President Jorge Rodriguez

Chavez Given Broad New Powers

In fact, both Hegelian and Marxist Dialectics are based on a very advanced understanding of this logic. When opposites are merged into the vessel of a statement there is a synthesis that results in a new, more evolved, more "true" truth. To the obdurate, mentally negligible classes such as Fascistic Corporatists and other Capitalist Dogs, the sentence reads as foolishness. To those of a higher mental caliber and keen intellectual insight the truth revealed in such statements is at once obvious, delightful, and instructively self-validating of previously unthoughtout belief. A true learning experience. In this way, we at the Karl Marx Treatment Center have devised tests to determine a patient's mental health and devise proper self-criticism therapy.

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Comrade Otis wrote:When opposites are merged into the vessel of a statement there is a synthisis that results in a new, more evolved, more "true" truth. To the obdurate, mentally negligible classes such as Fascistic Corporatists and other Capitalist Dogs, the sentence reads as foolishness. To those of a higher mental caliber and keen intellectual insight the truth revealed in such statements is at once obvious, delightful, and self-validating of belief. In this way, we at the Karl Marx Treatment Center have devised tests to determine a patient's mental health and devise proper self-criticism therapy.
Is True Comrade Otis!

Image If one visits the newspaper story you list, there is photo with the following caption: In an unusual outdoor meeting in downtown Caracas, the Venezuelan National Assembly voted Wednesday to give President Hugo Chávez broad powers to accelerate this oil-rich nation's push toward socialism. From the photo we clearly see the People celebrating by singing a Party approved version of the classic Lil' Flip song, Da Roof:

Da roof, da roof, da roof is on fire,
We don't need no Yooo-Esss,
Let the muthah-fu**ah burn!
Burn, mutha-fu**aH, burn!


And yet, as it is "an unusual outdoor meeting", there can be no roof! That these Venezuelans can grasp the implicit dichotomy and not be stymied by the seeming foolishness of singing about da roof burning indicates clearly that they are ready for precisely the type of Democracy they are celebrating. Viewed from within the nurturing arms of the Party, nothing could be clearer.

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One man's heroic, speaking truth to power democrat is another man's dhimmi.
One man's Trump is another man's rump.
One man's alternative energy source is another man's tortilla.

Say, do these have to make sense?

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One man's happy-meal is another man's kidnapped and tortured cow.

MEAT IS MURDER! MUUURRDDDEEERRRR! <hisssssss>


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One man's sci-fi TV series is another man's lifestyle.

One man's transportation is another man's sworn enemy.

One man's logic is another man's poison.

One man's stuffed animal is another man's best friend.

One man's 3D computer model is another man's headache.

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One man's drudgery is another man's delight.

One man's propaganda is another man's 'trusted news source'.

One man's savvy punditry is another man's annoying screed.

One man's 'slave-state Senator' is another man's village idiot.

One man's 'News that's fit to print' is another man's source of USA defense
secrets and strategy delivered daily to his cave.

One man's mahketing is anothah man's terrah threat.
(For non-Bostonians - One man's marketing is another man's terror threat.)

One man's minimum wage hike is another man's pink slip.

One man's Global Warming Horror is another man's nice day in January to wash the car.

One man's diminishing liberty is another man's refreshing freedom from choice.

One man's insomniac rambling is another man's reading.

One man's mediocre blog is another man's https://www.thelazyhalfsranch.blogspot.com

Got to go, Air America is calling.

One man's <i>Vox liberali</i> is another man's bankrupt batch of twits.

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Great Stalin's Ghost wrote:One man's heroic, speaking truth to power democrat is another man's dhimmi.
One man's Trump is another man's rump.
One man's alternative energy source is another man's tortilla.

Say, do these have to make sense?

The question is tautological, or not...

We are discussing Progressive Truth... the very appearance of sense grants them meaning by dint of association. Everything makes sense when context is maleable. It is therefore not a question of whether they have to make sense... They cannot do anything but.

Know what I mean, Jellybean?

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KB,

I am liking these two very much.
One man's sci-fi TV series is another man's lifestyle.

One man's transportation is another man's sworn enemy.


One man's Mulva is another Man's Mime...

One man's natural disaster is another man's tool of racial oppression...
OR
One man's hurricane is another man's excuse...

One man's city is another man's "delicious drink"...

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Sister Massively Opiated wrote: We are discussing Progressive Truth... the very appearance of sense grants them meaning by dint of association. Everything makes sense when context is maleable. It is therefore not a question of whether they have to make sense... They cannot do anything but.

Know what I mean, Jellybean?

Cool, (if I can say that in the current era of "man-made global warming").
In that case:
One man's witty, insightful, and aging comic strip is another man's toilet paper.
One man's diplomacy is another man's dipsomania.
One man's jellybean is another man's Billy Jean.

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One man's diplomacy is another man's dipsomania.

oooOOOoooh!!! I really like this one...

Have just realized that someone will have to start categorizing them... or each can decide for themselves as to where their own creations belong... would be interesting to see where each thinks they should go... Is one thing to look at character from word association, another to delve deeper based on categorical "rorschach" experiment... and will help us decide what re-edukation course best suits each Cubist...

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Sister Massively Opiated wrote:
One man's diplomacy is another man's dipsomania.

oooOOOoooh!!! I really like this one...

Have just realized that someone will have to start categorizing them... or each can decide for themselves as to where their own creations belong... would be interesting to see where each thinks they should go... Is one thing to look at character from word association, another to delve deeper based on categorical "rorschach" experiment... and will help us decide what re-edukation course best suits each Cubist...

One man's re-edukation is another man's re-edukation.

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Great Stalin's Ghost wrote:One man's re-edukation is another man's re-edukation.
One man's Cube is another man's World

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The Party's folklore gathered from the depth of collective consciousness (dropped there by various Party members and fellow travellers)

One man's War is another man's Peace
One man's Freedom is another man's Slavery
One man's Ignorance is another man's Strength
One man's wealth is another man's entitlement
One man's free speech is another man's thoughtcrime
One man's genocide is another man's purge

One man's bully is another man's bitch
One man's appliance is another man's life partner
One man's ennui is another man's Oscar
One man's malaise is another man's progress
One man's hurricane is another man's chocolate city

One man's paramecium is another man's universe

One man's meat is another man's murder
One man's murder is another man's cure
One man's cure is another man's poison
One man's poison is another man's meat
One man's hamburger is another man's filet mignon
One man's heart burn is another man's acid reflux
One man's meat is another man's pudding...
(sorry... I guess it's cause today is the anniversary of Pink Floyd starting to record Dark Side of the Moon)

One man's .002 cents is another man's .002 dollars
One man's courage is another man's stupidity.
One man's passion is another man's perversity.
One man's need is another man's want
One man's disadvantage is another man's opportunity
One man's evil is another man's inevitability
One man's faith is another man's folly
One man's fence is another man's freedom
One man's manna is another man's saltines
One man's saint is another man's sinner
One man's fool is another man's genius
One man's boy scout leader is another man's pedophile
One man's WASP is another man's anglophile
One man's rise is another man's fall
One man's rights are another man's privilege
One man's choice is another man's sentence
One man's blood is another man's sweat
One man's labour is another man's theft
One man's marriage is another man's misery
One man's shit is another man's Shinola
One man's children are another man's tax exemption
One man's sword is another man's plowshare
One man's toaster is another man's vacuum cleaner... this one's for Meow...
One man's sport is another man's necessity
One man's hero is another man's villain
One man's food is another man's oil
One man's security are another man's weapons
One man's weapon's are another man's toys
One man's manifesto is another man's bible
One man's liberation theology is another man's Marxist politics
One man's Objectivist is another man's Facist
One man's reward is another man's just desserts
One man's karma ran over another man's dogma
One man's reason is another man's excuse.
One man's Billy is another man's Ella
One man's Zionist is another man's occupying force.
One man's shovel is another man's rake.
One man's Palestinian is another man's political football.
One man's mission(ary) is another man's murder(er).
One man's martyr is another man's murder... there are so many ones for "murder".
One man's Tom Cruise is another man's John Travolta.
One man's Mel Gibson is another man's Michael Richards.
One man's globe is another man's Cube
One man's enemy is another man's witch.
One terrorist's wife is another terrorist's media tool
One terrorist's wife is another terrorist's lottery winner
(Yes, that's right! Mahmoud's wife and sons have won $25,000 in redirected aid money AND free education. Unfortunately, his daughter had to be killed because the neighbor's boy looked at her and so she disgraced the family and was killed by her brothers... Mahmoud's wife is VERY proud.)

We could do a whole African themed series... to support our brothers in social change, Bono and Sir Bob...

One Hutu's Tutsi is another Hutu's Watutsi...
One Hutu's Tutsi is another Hutu's Hottentot...
One Ugandan's Amin is another Zairean's Mobutu...

Or a 17th anniversary Free Nelson Mandella Commemorative Collection...
One ANC member's burning tire is another ANC member's necklace

Oh... hey... we could do a special Nigerian series....
One man's non-existent frozen bank account is another man's opportunity

One man's torture is another man's chance to live
(In fact, that's many men, women, and children's chance to avoid being blown up)

One man's conspiracy is another man's religion
One man's conspiracy is another man's revolution
One man's conspiracy is another man's hope.
One man's conspiracy theory is another man's inviolate truth

One man's bum is another man's fun (If you're going to San-Francisco)
One man's wife is another man's intern
One woman's dress is another man's condom (MONICA!)
One man's hurricane is another man's vote
One man's art is another man's feces.
One man's music is another man's torture (ALVA!)
One man's ideas are another man's words
One man's peanut is another man's Carter
One man's flatulence is another man's Glade plug-in (Plug it in Plug it in™)

One man's wallet is a Democrat's lust

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One man's Gemeinschaft is another man's Gesellschaft.

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(sorry... I guess it's cause today is the anniversary of Pink Floyd starting to record Dark Side of the Moon)

One man's anniversary of Pink Floyd starting to record Dark Side of the Moon is another man's anniversary of the British Invasion (and, of course, KGB agents Paul, George, John and Ringo successfully beginning the re-education of American children while they sold drugs for QEII)

One man's KKK past is a Democrat's successful Senate career

One man's Rhodesia is another man's Swaziland (just saw "Wah-Wah"...it was pretty good)

One man's "Little Miss Sunshine" is another man's "Crime and Punishment"....hey, that could be true, really.

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Dr. W. S. Palimpsest wrote:One man's Gemeinschaft is another man's Gesellschaft.
One man's vos machts do is another man's vos machts don't... (okay... so I hocked mit da transliteration a bissel... nisht geferlach...)

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The Tsarevna wrote:One man's "Little Miss Sunshine" is another man's "Crime and Punishment"....hey, that could be true, really.

Of course it's true... It's all the Progressive Truth™

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One man's Willie Stark is another man's Bill Clinton.

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One man's propoganda is another man's all the news that's fit to print
(did someone already use that one? sorry)
"One man's profit is another man's (in)voluntary investment in my new exploration of alternative fuels"--Comrade Hillary
One man's Lysenko is another man's Gore

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Comrade Che Cure Booty wrote:One man's fluff is another man's candidate.
One man's broken condom is another man's stem cell.
One man's roadkill is another man's lucky day.
One man's intern is another man's humidor.


One country's diserter is another country's hero

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One man's heroic army officer upholding the highest principles is another man's fake and fraud whose ideas would lead to the military deciding what wars to fight rather than the civilian government.

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One man's brave Iranian naval officer, seeking the release of his brothers kidnapped by the Evil Satan...


...is another man's Barbary Pirate. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Barbary_pirates

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One rapper's hoe is another talk show host's racist, thought-crime ridden diatribe against those much better than he, proving that he should be drug out into the streets, drawn, and quartered before his remaining pieces sent to the Gulag to wait out his appropriate sentence.

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Well... really... it's one thing to speak in the abstract of a woman being a ho in a song lyric - no matter whether one believes that it contributes to a culture of stereotypes that are damaging or not (or whatever your take is on the issue)... another thing entirely to call actual individuals who don't remotely merit the term, 'nappy-headed ho's'... and while an individual may choose to behave as a 'ho', the majority of the Rutgers womens basketball team did not choose to be 'nappy headed', any more than they chose to be women, and so to insult them on the basis of a physical trait rather than a behaviour is not really a thought crime... more an ill-conceived racist diatribe... and one that is almost impossible to explain in a meaningful way, even if an individual spoke without thinking... the thought had to originate somewhere within the personality...

I have to say, in all seriousness, that were someone to have, even in jest, publicly called me a whoring kike bitch for absolutely no apparent reason other than they thought it might be funny on some level, whether those remarks were broadcast or private, I would have no issue whatsoever demanding his immediate dismissal and I can't for the life of me understand what the big deal is. Whether it was someone at my place of work addressing me in this way or someone over the radio, common decency would seem to me to make dismissal appropriate - regardless of recent Cube discussions of Freedom of Speech (or of the Press, I suppose... maybe it's my Kanadistanian-ness, but I don't see how this falls within the perview of either of those entrenched rights)... Drawing and quartering is absolutley unnecessary, particularly as Don Imus is rather stringy and particularly old and would not at all provide anything of nutritionial value, even were we to stew him for a very long time... and I certainly wouldn't eat him after those horrible things he said.

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The Tsarevna wrote:One man's brave Iranian naval officer, seeking the release of his brothers kidnapped by the Evil Satan...
...is another man's Barbary Pirate. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Barbary_pirates
Or perhaps, one Iranian Naval Officer's GPS unit is another Iranian Naval Officer's PSP knock-off (Damn! I could have sworn I was tracking those GPS coordinates and not playing Prince of Persia; Rival Swords... well... as long as no one finds out, there might be some bounty in it for us).

one man's chemistry is another mans physics
one man's droppings is another man's food
one mans face is another mans bottom
one mans camera is another mans photo
Johnny from guitars101

RISKLE
" One man's suicide, is another man's survival . "

- One Love, peace


Riskle


 
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