Our Department has created a curriculum out of thin air and in a big hurry, enabling persons with some loose $100,000 to spend it on an undergraduate degree in the exciting new field of Obamology (the study of Obama.) Qualified candidates (i.e. those with extra $100,000) successfully completing 30 credit hours will obtain a B.O. degree (Bachelor of Obamology), which will not lead to a career or paying job or any such corporate entrapment, but it will help make you feel as if you are serving the community while you're hanging around on the street corner.

Hardfart University
Department of Theology, Mythology and Miscellaneology

100 - Introduction to Obamology
Prof. Wright and Staff - 3 credits
Who is Obama? Why study him? Why have you already asked more questions about Him than the Mainstream Media has asked in the last two years? How can Obama fill the void in your life, not to mention the one in your head? This class attempts to answer these and other questions posed by starry-eyed aspirants before their parents have a chance to stop payment on their checks.

111 - Hope and Change: A Path to Greatness
Dr. Axelrod - 3 credits
How Obama discovered Hope. How Obama invented Change. How he married them together. Why Obama's concept of Hope is so cool because it means you don't actually have to do anything but sit around waiting for something good to happen to you. Why Obama's concept of Change is so cool because you can project any meaning you want onto that and you would be right. Why these two concepts together are so cool because it means you will be able to sit around in your room after graduation eating Twinkies and watching TV and waiting for Hope and Change to make your life better.

125 - Following In the Footsteps of Obama - Community Organizer
Prof. Ayers - 3 credits
What is a "community organizer"? Spoken with a proper amount of reverence, the term has a tacit nobility to it that immediately shames any opponent into respectful silence, including those who have actually done some good in their lives. Try it sometime: when your parents ask you what you plan to do when you graduate, tell them you're planning on becoming a community organizer. They'll look at you with a worshipful stare as if you volunteered to donate a kidney to a baby seal. This is why everyone thinks Obama is just like Jesus What's-his-name, only cooler!

138 - Obama and Racism
Ms. Michelle Amabo - credits to each according to his need
Why disagreeing with Obama is racist. Why insinuating Obama is not qualified to do brain surgery on you is racist. Why things we don't normally think of as racist become racist when doing them gets in Obama's way. Why racism trumps sexism. Why, whenever Obama practices sexism, it is not sexism - and it's racist to think it is. Why and when the words "circular reasoning" are racist.

202 - Media Relations
Prof. Matthews - 4 credits
What "useful idiots" are. Why they are useful. Why they are idiots. Why the MSM are suckers for progressivism. Why pundits think they are smarter than everyone else in spite of voluminous evidence to the contrary. How "objective journalism" replaced "military intelligence" as a sure fire laugh line. How this plays into Obama's hands. Why a sparse resume helps. When to say "it's above my pay grade." Lab required: consists mostly of watching MSNBC.

223 - Barrack Obama, Lightworker
Ms. Dohrn - mostly on credit
What is a "Lightworker"? Why it is different from "Lightweight" although both are apropos. Students will learn why this term is so ambiguous that it's meaningless, yet it inspires the masses who project their own positive emotions on it, and why it helps Obama's narrative. This class has no text but students will be required to buy Obama posters for use in worshipful staring marathons and spontaneous street marches "against the machine."

254 - Real Estate for Obamaphiles
Mr. Rezko (conducting class remotely) - no credit available now
The secret to discovering a helpful "real estate fairy". How to structure bribes discretionary payments as real estate deals so that they are untraceable. How money intended for public housing can end up in your pocket. The nebulousness of modern accounting standards and how to use it to your advantage. The student will learn how to inflate or deflate values at will in order to fool banks, buyers, sellers, and investigators. The art of finding a friendly auditor. Guest lectures by Bill Clinton of Whitewater fame.

308 -- Victimology
Dr. Winfrey - easy credit
The student will learn how to turn ordinary folks with temporary crises or those who have made bad decisions, into victims. Why victims are good for the legend of Obama. Why helping anybody hurts progress unless it's performed by specially trained government officials and, in some cases, authorized celebrities. How Obama's wife can be both celebrity and victim at the same time. Why logic is a hindrance in these matters. Why television is not called the "boob tube" for nothing. Why true self-esteem is the politician's enemy, and what to do about it.

325 - Following In the Footsteps of Obama - State Senator
Prof. Blagojevich - cash only, no credit
What a state senator does. How to vote "present". Why voting present is not so hot for anybody but Obama. How to turn a do-nothing stint in state politics into a presidential qualification. The proper way to say "show me the money" without being indicted. Why it's good to have low friends in high places. How to win elections without having to campaign. How to stage a campaign based on balloon-juice and celebrity status, convincing the masses it has substance. How to make yourself appear bold and courageous while voting the same way everybody else did. What "standing for something" means and how to avoid doing it.

366 - Obama's Governance Principles
Mr. Alinsky - credit where credit is due
What is communism? Why communism got a bad rep. How to put a happy face on mass executions. Why totalitarian principles work. How to achieve reverence and blind obedience from the unwashed masses. How to remain unsullied while others do the dirty work for you. Why eliminating freedom, capitalism, and individualism is necessary and useful. Applying principles from "The Night of the Long Knives." Why gun control is paramount. The movie "Soylent Green" will be viewed and discussed.

404 - Obama Theory of International Relations
Mr. Ahmadinejad - credit for time served
Why Neville Chamberlain is much underrated. Why the "carrot and stick" approach works better with a big bag of carrots and no sticks. The purpose of treating our enemies better than our countrymen. Why having a big ego and being a bag of wind has nothing to do with it. Obama's radical theory that Israel has always been a friend of Israel. Why it is easier to talk out of both sides of your mouth to the foreign press. The art of making high-style low-substance speeches to big crowds in foreign lands and why this is important to America.

413 - Church and State
Mr. Pfleger - credit card bills got you down?
What is a church? What is it good for? Students will learn god does not exist so he doesn't matter. How to deal with hicks who think he does. How to spot a loony preacher with a big congregation and use him to your advantage. How to throw him under the bus when he becomes a political problem. How to sleep while sitting in a hardwood pew. Bringing the wife and kids along to give credibility to your ploy. Views of god from all 57 states.

For graduate study courses, see our matchbook cover ad.

---

UPDATE:

Some of the visual aids from the above courses that didn't fit into the advertising brochure:



-- Red Square,
Visual Agitation Directorate

That looks like a pretty rigorous course load. Is attendance required? I already have Phys Ed 101 this semester. You know, alerting reporters, going in, mentally blocking sweat glands, "working out" alongside starstruck useful idiots for several minutes, alerting reporters, coming out. Approving drafts of reports that I have gone to the gym. After a few short weeks I can already claim amazing feats. By the way, I can do upright leg extensions from my body to the floor with 165 pounds.

Ahhh Hardfart, a degree that would indicate that you have arrived.

But I would like more information about the labs. The bomb making to be exact. Does Comrade Ayers ever come on campus, the Messiah?

I did not see a walking on water course offered.

Red Bubba wrote:That looks like a pretty rigorous course load. Is attendance required?

In the Obama tradition, students may simply sign in to classes as "present".

K.G.B. Komisar wrote: I did not see a walking on water course offered.

That's an advanced topic only for serious kool-aid drinkers graduate students.

I'm a little disturbed that there is no course centering around liquidation for non-production. Once again, my ilk has been "left behind"

Hardfart U? Leave it to an Ivy League institution to lead the way in progressing the progress of our re-educational system. The curriculum looks most challenging, gaining admittance to the program has to be difficult. Hopefully these courses will be offered at the commune college level in the not too distant future.

Strange?

Kind of looks like the curriculum from the newly proposed Peace Acadamy but weaker.
Young minds today need survival skills for tomorrow's job market.

How can they make it without such necessary knowledge of important things such as:

Pantomime 101?
Paper Maché and it's many political uses?
Puppeteering and Progressivism?
Peaceful Chanting to incite a riot?
Smashing police barricades peacefully?
How to properly tie a bandana over your face?
How to survive 12 hours in jail without starving?

What about Frisbee, Hacky-Sack, and Bongs? We want them to be active and healthy, don't we?

No mention of co-ed dorms, free condoms and womyn's health services for choice. How are they supposed to learn about biology?

Why was this brochure written in English? There's a red flag, but not the correct Red Flag.

Hardfart, you need an ombudsman for your lack of diversity!

Comrades, Premier-without-Portfolio Mario Cuomo vouchsafed to the world last week that the Obamessiah is "a new kind of intelligence." This is what the world has been waiting for for decades; the One will be able to explain the superiority of socialism which up until now has only been understood by the gullible naive most elite minds of this and other worlds. "A new kind of intelligence" meaning that the old reactionary intelligences of this world which understood facts and figures, dollars and cents, Wright right and wrong, (up and down?) are no longer germaine or pertinent, and they don't matter either. Obama's new kind of intelligence will lead us beyond profit and loss, sense and nonsense, shit and shinola! This is what we are fighting for comrades! Making sense is a bourgeois reactionary concept; consistency is the hobgoblin of mediocre minds! Obama will lead our intellects away from that, past surrealism and into ????? We must study him to keep up so that we will not be left behind like chewing gum on the beach ball of progress! Forget quantum physics, partial differential equations and superstrings; the new unified field theory is OBAMA!

Will they be Offering Sex education taught By Billy Bob Kinton or Spitzer?

I was also hoping for Feeding the Masses..

K.G.B. Komisar wrote:Will they be Offering Sex education taught By Billy Bob Kinton or Spitzer?

I was also hoping for Feeding the Masses..

Funny you should mention that. It so happens I'm teaching a graduate course in my spare time this semester @ NYU entitled The Progressive Principles of Proper Penile Pleasure Purchases.

Roses are red and violets are blue
the only course I need is rock throwin' rocks through the windows
of civilization
just to be with you, Pinkie
cause you're mine!

Can we exchange shovels and vows now?

evict/impeach

Dennis M Mccullough wrote: Roses are red and violets are blue
the only course I need is rock throwin' rocks through the windows
of civilization
just to be with you, Pinkie
cause you're mine!

Can we exchange shovels and vows now?

evict/impeach

Oh nooooo This is not going to be pretty. When Pinkie sees this.

Comrade do yourself a favor, head to the train station now. Hide in the first Gulag you come to, Stay gone for a very long time...We'll hold Pinkie back as long as Possable.

Dennis, what a delight to finally put a face to the name! And such a handsome face! You're one gorgeous guy! Why, I'll bet you have to beat the girls off with your shovel. How'd I ever get so lucky? And you're even wearing a red hat, and carrying a rock bigger than the Mime's!

Bring your sock over to my dacha, and I'll wash it for you.

KGB Komisar: You are in such big trouble now, you may as well report to Platform 6 with Maksim and Betinov. To think those two louts tried to break up me and Dennis and scare him off, because they didn't think Dennis was good enough for me! Why, I'm hardly worthy of a man as fine and sweet and sensitive as he is!

But Pinkie we see you as our little sister. What do you know about this ....Person...At least let us interrogateinterview him. We would be beside ourselves if he caused you any harm or heartbreak.

Fellow comrades,
You realize by giving the $100,000, we are helping our glorious "Community Organizer" fund more community organizations.

I'm so happy for you, Commissarka! Have you really found Mr Left???

Ahhh.. You paraphrase thee Holy Prophet(PBUH). Allah will surely give mercy.

Verily, We must get rid of the dog! And all pictures of dogs. 'Anything' that has to do with dogs!.

However....., Not incuding those "useful" dogs, of course. Marshal Pupovich might shed some light on this.

With all the washing, and washing, and dirt rubbing, the people will be to busy to seethe properly.

Sheik Abu Moham wrote:Ahhh.. You paraphrase thee Holy Prophet. Allah will surely give mercy.

Verily, We must get rid of the dog! And all pictures of dogs. Anything that has to do with dogs.

Excluding those useful dogs of course. Marshal Pupovich might provide some insight on this.

With all the washing and washing and dirt rubbing the people will be to busy to seethe properly.

With all due respect Comrade, What the hell does your post have to do with Hardfart University? Further I will remind you that
Marshal Pupovich took a bullet for the Chairman.

We are coming by to pick you up, I will have the Trunk of my ZIL cleaned out. After we have a little chat. You will be wisk away for your reservations at Gulag 43.......Dress warmly Comrade

K.G.B. Komisar wrote:What the hell does your post have to do with Hardfart University?

I believe he was referring to the following update in the title post.

<img src="/images/Wolf_CommunityOrganizer_Dog.jpg" width="421" height="365">

<img src="/images/Wolf_CommunityOrganizer_spe.gif" width="420" height="380">

Since I am a prisoner willing resident of The People's Republic of Illinois, do I get credit for:
100 - Introduction to Obamology
125 - Following In the Footsteps of Obama - Community Organizer
138 - Obama and Racism
223 - Barrack Obama, Lightworker
254 - Real Estate for Obamaphiles
308 -- Victimology
325 - Following In the Footsteps of Obama - State Senator
366 - Obama's Governance Principles
and
413 - Church and State
?

Cause I just hate to sit through classes I already lived through.

O'Brien

WAR IS PEACE
FREEDOM IS SLAVERY
IGNORANCE IS STRENGTH

Red Square wrote:

K.G.B. Komisar wrote:What the hell does your post have to do with Hardfart University?

I believe he was referring to the following update in the title post.

<img src="/images/Wolf_CommunityOrganizer_Dog.jpg" width="421" height="365">

<img src="/images/Wolf_CommunityOrganizer_spe.gif" width="420" height="380">

Comrade Red Square: as you know we at the KGB need no reason to send someone to the Gulags. It has also been a slow week.

Red Square wrote: <img src="/images/Wolf_CommunityOrganizer_spe.gif" width="420" height="380">

Brilliant! Yes We Can - OUT! No More Dogs - IN!

O'Brien wrote:Since I am a prisoner willing resident of The People's Republic of Illinois, do I get credit for:
100 - Introduction to Obamology
125 - Following In the Footsteps of Obama - Community Organizer
138 - Obama and Racism
223 - Barrack Obama, Lightworker
254 - Real Estate for Obamaphiles
308 -- Victimology
325 - Following In the Footsteps of Obama - State Senator
366 - Obama's Governance Principles
and
413 - Church and State
?

Cause I just hate to sit through classes I already lived through.

O'Brien

WAR IS PEACE
FREEDOM IS SLAVERY
IGNORANCE IS STRENGTH

No, sorry Comrade, Hardfart is a Poison Ivy League school and cares nothing about the real world, not even those parts of it that contained Obama.

Well then I demand free tuition, free books, free housing, free concubine, and free incidentals. All in the name of the people of course.

And to become part of the student union and if there is no student union then I demand that you recognize me as the student union.

O'Brien

WAR IS PEACE
FREEDOM IS SLAVERY
IGNORANCE IS STRENGTH

O'Brien wrote:Well then I demand free tuition, free books, free housing, free concubine, and free incidentals. All in the name of the people of course.

And to become part of the student union and if there is no student union then I demand that you recognize me as the student union.

O'Brien

WAR IS PEACE
FREEDOM IS SLAVERY
IGNORANCE IS STRENGTH

Not so fast, Comrade. Free stuff is handed out by Party only in reparations for legitimate grievances suffered by members of oppressed groups! Not for just any Tom, Dick or Mikhail!

But fear not, Party lawyers will work with you and will highly likely come up with some offense you have suffered at hands of rotten, evil capitalist system. For example, Party has recently helped the following peoples:
- Elmo bought a car and suffered loss of self-esteem because windshield wiper squeaked
- Michelle was rejected for job as nuclear scientist because her college major was igloo making
- Hugo became depressed and suicidal when train he was waiting for stopped in such a way he had to sprint to get to door before dastardly conductor closed it

Try it and see! Call 1-800-SUE-NOW! for free brochure and our 2008 Guide to Grievances!

Have we changed the number for the Party Law Offices of Dewey, Cheatham and Howe? It used to be 1-800-SHYSTER.

Oh well thats easy.

I was passenger in a car that was not involved in an accident but I drove by an accident and was so traumatized I could not go to work and don't know when I will be stable enough to return. Now the driver of the car I was riding in has a $50,000 insurance policy and the people involved in the accident each have $100,000 insurance policies. I also live with my dad who has a $1,000,000 insurance policy.
I figure its partly the fault of the driver of the car I was in, for he drove me by the accident. He didn't have to do that.
I also figure that it's the fault of the people in the accident for if they didn't get into an accident I would not have been traumatized.
And I figure it's the fault of my father for if he never sired me then I would never have been able to see that accident and never would have been traumatized.

Think we have a case?

O'Brien

WAR IS PEACE
FREEDOM IS SLAVERY
IGNORANCE IS STRENGTH

To Whom It May Concern,

I am interested in taking the advanced courses, possibly on a post-graduate level.
But still- I have some concerns. As KGB Komisar noted, there is no Walking-On-Water (WOW 410) course offered as part of the graduate level curriculum. Also I would be interested in Wine-Making from Water (VIN H20), Personal Salvation from Collective Salvation (BS 410), and How To Feed An Entire Re-Edukation Kamp With Loaves and Fishes (WTF 500).

Please inform me of the nearest indoctrination center university kampus where I may register to be counted as another disciple of the Social Collective of the Almighty Barack! (S.C.A.B.)

Thank you kindly for your assistance, Comrades! I raise my shovel in your our honor!

O'Brien wrote:Oh well thats easy.

I was passenger in a car that was not involved in an accident but I drove by an accident and was so traumatized I could not go to work and don't know when I will be stable enough to return. Now the driver of the car I was riding in has a $50,000 insurance policy and the people involved in the accident each have $100,000 insurance policies. I also live with my dad who has a $1,000,000 insurance policy.
I figure its partly the fault of the driver of the car I was in, for he drove me by the accident. He didn't have to do that.
I also figure that it's the fault of the people in the accident for if they didn't get into an accident I would not have been traumatized.
And I figure it's the fault of my father for if he never sired me then I would never have been able to see that accident and never would have been traumatized.

Think we have a case?

O'Brien

WAR IS PEACE
FREEDOM IS SLAVERY
IGNORANCE IS STRENGTH

Comrade, this is clearly the fault of George Bushhitler, Dunce Cheney and Halliburton! If Bushhitler/Cheney did not run and get elected, Kerry Edwards would be in power and would have provided a better world in which auto accidents could not occur! And Halliburton is defendant because they are the deep pockets behind the Bushhitler/Cheney secret cabal to provide gas and oil to Amerikan drivers, thus enabling cars to move and get into accidents! I believe we have legitimate case to sue all 62,040,610 reactionaries who voted for Bushhitler in 2004!

Not to mention that Bushitler failed to research crash-free fuel alternatives. He could have at least built a metal canopy over the roads through which electricity would be transmited to uncrashable bumper cars.
On the other hand, if we wish to eliminate all oil to prevent crashes, we are already on the path to victory. Since the environmentalists have blocked the obtainment of more oil, all we have to do is come up with some fictitious, top secret device that requires all of the world's remaining fuel to power. The masses will simply be told that it is for the greater good.

Wait, cOmrades. Wait.

Obama sayeth, "Lipstick On a pig, is still a pig". The abOve prOpaganda pOsters shOw a glOriOus pig in the apprOved unifOrm of the glOriOus republic. dOes this mean that a pig is nOt the right animal tO use in the peOple's campaign Of hOpe and Change? I am sO cOnfused? Is the pig nOt a symbOl of the greed and unclean nature Of Bushitler? Or is SnOwball and NapOlean a need tO be remade in the image Of walking piles Of steaming feces, like (shudder)McCain Or Sarah Palin?

Cliff Andropov wrote:Wait, cOmrades. Wait.

Obama sayeth, "Lipstick On a pig, is still a pig". The abOve prOpaganda pOsters shOw a glOriOus pig in the apprOved unifOrm of the glOriOus republic. dOes this mean that a pig is nOt the right animal tO use in the peOple's campaign Of hOpe and Change? I am sO cOnfused? Is the pig nOt a symbOl of the greed and unclean nature Of Bushitler? Or is SnOwball and NapOlean a need tO be remade in the image Of walking piles Of steaming feces, like (shudder)McCain Or Sarah Palin?

Fear not, comrade. You need not worry yourself with such thought. Obama shall think in your stead.

"I like pigs because a dog looks up to you, a cat looks down on you, but a pig accepts you as an equal."
- Winston Churchill

And they have better resumes than Obama!
- Porky Pig

From Michael Asher:

"LIPSTICK ON A PIG, STILL A PIG"

I noticed you did not include O-frica. Surely Obama's brother has been campaigning like "the gods must be crazy" there. The majority of O-urope will vote for Obama, or at least they think they should be entitled to.

Nigerians were caught raising money for Obie Wan Chicago.

http://www.stuff.co.nz/4676758a12.html

Of course, he says he won't accept it (but gave them Axelrod's phone number.)

AbecedariusRex wrote:

Japanimation wrote:

AbecedariusRex wrote:

I never quite expected a reference to The Best Page in the Universe on this site.

Hey, japanimation, a fellow Maddoxite!

Does the church and state curriculum cover how to deal with agitators such as Pontius Palin. Tough, smart, independent womyn such as her are a danger to the collective. I tried hitting her on the head with my shovel (it had a picture of Nancy Pelosi on it) she just smiled and said "see you in November"
I don't know what she means it's much too cold to count trees in November!

K.G.B. Komisar wrote:Will they be Offering Sex education taught By Billy Bob Kinton or Spitzer?

I was also hoping for Feeding the Masses..

I also was hoping for Feeding the Masses! Of course, Comrade Paula Dean would be the instructor?
I do believe that I have some tasty recipes on file for dogs. They are a staple in the Motherland, yes? I may be thinking of the Glorious([HIGHLIGHT=#fdeada]founding member of the UN[/HIGHLIGHT]) People's Republic of China. Yum, Chinese, another specialty cooking style of mine.
Please remember that I am a disgraced ex-employee (chef to Sarahcuda Palin), and now that I have given myself over to the collective for whatever nefarious purposes, I feel I must contribute my small talents for the better of us all! Bon Appetit Everyone!
PS: My borscht is to die for!!!!

AbecedariusRex wrote: Hey, japanimation, a fellow Maddoxite!

Very interesting.
Thanks for the link!!

knew those pics looked familiar....


...this one's good too...


...though there are some variations on the theme...


...or you can just practice what you preach...

Lmao I love this site.