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Newspaper Runs Out Of Anti-Bush Headlines

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It was only a matter of time before the mainstream media ran out of catchy anti-Bush headlines. Starting with the 2000 elections the US editors appeared to be engaged in a prestigious contest: who would cast the President in the worst possible light.

The opportunities seemed unlimited. The headline-writers spent countless nights awash in the pale glow of their monitors, coming up with one brilliant hook after another. But four years of consistent Bush-bashing have eventually exhausted everyone's vocabulary and imagination.

So when George W. Bush was reelected in November of 2004, several pundits sensed that a crisis of creativity would soon plague the media. By the end of the second quarter of this year, the national media hit rock bottom.

"There are only so many words one can string together while remaining impartial and objective - even if it's such a fertile topic as our dumb and evil dictator President who is bent on bombing caribou herds back into the Stone Age in Alaska," says Susan Stein, editor of The Village Voice, a mainstream New York newspaper. "Our paper is getting thinner with every issue. We are now considering running blank pages; we call it a "fill in the blanks" approach. Our readers are extremely educated and knowledgeable; they'll get the point anyway."

Some journalists admit to having been a bit too wasteful and overzealous with their anti-Bush headlines in the past. "I guess we should've saved some for later," says Lenora Calhoun, a New York Times reporter. "The well is dry," she continues, "but who knew the idiot would get reelected? We had a lot of fun with headlines during his first term, though. Lots of good memories."

As a result, the once elaborate and artistic headlines in the papers are being commonly replaced today by such bland and meaningless titles as "Bush is Bush" and the rather implausible "Bush Eats Condors For Breakfast." Such weak efforts will fool only the most gullible part of the Democratic constituency. No wonder subscriptions are dropping rapidly across the country.

"It was a time bomb," agrees Fatima Shah, who works in the same room with Lenora. "I think Karl Rove planned it all from the very beginning. Now who is the real terrorist here? Hey! Didn't I just come up with a good headline! Gotta get back to my desk. There's a Pulitzer Prize with my name on it."

The image above is our pimped-up version of The Nation's prophetic cover that welcomed George W. Bush's ascendance to power on November 13, 2000, heralding eight years of media's insatiable hatred of "President Dubya." The cover, designed by Brian Stauffer, was named #23 of the top 40 magazine covers from the past 40 years by the American Society of Magazine Editors. The Nation is still selling merchandise with this image on its website.

UPDATE:

Brian Stauffer recently wrote to us asking to remove this image, claiming that "our use of it might make it appear that he supports our opinion." Apparently, Mr. Stauffer is afraid to be mistaken for someone who is not a Bush-basher, because he doesn't want to risk being treated the way he knows liberals treat conservatives - the way he treats them himself. We found his request ungrounded, but in the spirit of bipartisan compromise and compassion we decided to add a disclaimer:

The appearance of Mr. Stauffer's work in no way constitutes his endorsement of or agreement with the views of The People's Cube, and as such, he should not be subjected to hate mail, boycotts, effigy burnings, boob barings, campouts on his front lawn, etc., or any other form of moonbattery known to be practiced on those who do not espouse tolerance for others' views.

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Comrade,

You neglect to mention the resourcefullness of our left hand (the media of course)!

A prime example is the photoshopped Bush picture above! The Village Voice (always in the lead with such innovations) has been running through an unlimited supply of imagery (e.g. Bush as vampire, Bush as Peanut, Bush as Octopus, Bush as a Bush (the shrub that is -- it was a slow week), Bush as Hitler (a crowd favorite), Bush as a pig, Bush as a snail, Bush as a masculine American male (the worst of all) etcetera!

Do not underestimate our native pamphliteers! The "blank page innovation" of the Village Voice is also quite impressive! I believe they now sell imaginary advertising on those pages. After all, while escort ads pay well, they do not make the collective solvent. The imaginary income is then factored into the operating budget. A Village Voice reporter now makes 12,000 Kopeks a quarter, and an additional one million "Voicebucks" (not to be confused with i.o.u.'s which can be redeemed) per annum!

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If the popular media outlets fail, we can always go back to what the capitalist pigs call "tabloids". Their news is just as informitave and even more accurate sometimes!

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Speaking as a modest yet legendary economist, I can assure you that there is a very good reason why The Village Voice is free, and The New York Times is prohibitively expensive. Rest assured that your New York Times dollar will guarantee you a limitless supply of headlines that will expose the truth about George W. Bush -- a "president" who represents the very antithesis of my own boundless intellect.

In particular, I can guarantee that the Op-Ed page, as long as I am there, will tell The Truth.

Did I say that the Times if prohibitively expensive? That, too, is a consequence of Bush. His tax cuts have been a transfer of wealth from the unemployed to the rich. And since the rich control the poor and the minorities, there has been a deficit of liquid preference options beyond the incremental inflection points. This was not an issue under the guidance of Jimmy Carter, but it is most treacherous in 2005.

"Trivial", as we say in the Princeton Faculty Lounge.

Elsworth Toohey
https://www.larryville.com/forum/index. ... read=15856

HOW THE D-DAY INVASION WOULD BE REPORTED BY TODAY'S PRESS

NORMANDY, FRANCE (June 6, 1944) Three hundred French civilians were killed and thousands more were wounded today in the first hours of America's invasion of continental Europe. Casualties were heaviest among women and children. Most of the French casualties were the result of artillery fire from American ships attempting to knock out German fortifications prior to the landing of hundreds of thousands of U.S. troops. Reports from a makeshift hospital in the French town of St. Mere Eglise said the carnage was far worse than the French had anticipated, and that reaction against the American invasion was running high.

"We are dying for no reason," said a Frenchman speaking on condition of anonymity. "Americans can't even shoot straight. I never thought I'd say this, but life was better under Adolph Hitler."

The invasion also caused severe environmental damage. American troops, tanks, trucks and machinery destroyed miles of pristine shoreline and thousands of acres of ecologically sensitive wetlands. It was believed that the habitat of the spineless French crab was completely wiped out, thus threatening the species with extinction. A representative of Greenpeace said his organization, which had tried to stall the invasion for over a year, was appalled at thedestruction, but not surprised. "This is just another example of how the military destroys the environment without a second thought," said Christine Moanmore. "And it's all about corporate greed."

Contacted at his Manhattan condo, a member of the French government-in-exile who abandoned Paris when Hitler invaded, said the invasion was based solely on American financial interests. "Everyone knows that President Roosevelt has ties to 'big beer'," said Pierre LeWimp. "Once the German beer industry is conquered, Roosevelt's beer cronies will control the world market and make a fortune."

Administration supporters said America's aggressive actions were based in part on the assertions of controversial scientist Albert Einstein, who sent a letter to Roosevelt speculating that the Germans were developing a secret weapon -- a so-called "atomic bomb". Such a weapon could produce casualties on a scale never seen before, and cause environmental damage that could last for thousands of years. Hitler has denied having such a weapon and international inspectors were unable to locate such weapons even after spending two long weekends in Germany. Shortly after the invasion began, reports surfaced that German prisoners had been abused by American soldiers. Mistreatment of Jews by Germans at their so-called "concentration camps" has been rumored, but so far this remains unproven.

Several thousand Americans died during the first hours of the invasion, and French officials are concerned that the uncollected corpses will pose a public-health risk. "The Americans should have planned for this in advance," they said. "It's their mess, and we don't intend to help clean it up."

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It seems that somebody has all the tolerence of a jihadi looking at a Danish cartoon.
What do you expect? Parody and Satire are both located in the Humor section of the library and we all know there is no Humor section in the Liberal Library.

Wow! 5 posts after almost three years!
Not exactly the most popular topic ever posted at TPC.

Who's next? The NYT for the Warsaw Ghetto parody? Now that was popular!

William Mildred Farnsworth Higgenbottom Pius Gaines IX Esq. must laughing his ass off up in cartoonist heaven because he knew there was no honor among thieves. Satire and parody was his life's work. Somebody call Senator Kefauver! Whoops, he's dead too!

How pitiful and typical at the same time.

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A bit of history on our gap-toothed friend:

The name was in use long before Mad magazine came out — on Henry Morgan's old radio show, for one thing; and for another, it was the name of a real-life classical music conductor. The face goes back even farther. It appears on patent medicine labels, signs for roadside eateries, political propaganda etc. (often including his famous slogan, "What, me worry?", or a recognizable variant) going back to the beginning of the 20th century. A little more, in fact, considering the character's more-than-passing resemblance to comics' first superstar, The Yellow Kid. And when Mad did start using both the name and the face, at first it didn't even link them to the same character.

And yet, Alfred E. Neuman has become so closely associated with Mad that by 1963, a letter mailed from Auckland, New Zealand, with no address other than his picture, managed to find its way to the magazine's editorial office in New York City.

So prolific were pre-Mad uses of the face, that when the magazine was sued for copyright infringement (twice, once based on a 1914 copyright and the other on a 1936 one), its major defense was to show the court that the plaintiffs had copied it from even earlier sources. Cartoonists who used it include George McManus (creator of Bringing Up Father), Frederick Burr Opper (creator of Happy Hooligan), Eugene "Zim" Zimmerman (with credits at Puck, Judge, Life and elsewhere), and a host of toon practitioners who neglected to sign their names. Actual human beings said to resemble Alfred E. Neuman include Prince Charles, Ted Koppel, Jimmy Carter and George W. Bush.

How did The "What, Me Worry?" Kid wind up at Mad?

Mad's first use of the face was on the cover of its first reprint volume, The Mad Reader, published in November, 1954. In the comic book itself, he first turned up on the cover of #21 (January, 1955). Four months later, when the publication was reformatted as a magazine, he again appeared on the cover, in addition to playing cameo roles in several interior items, and he's been the magazine's official mascot ever since. He's been depicted on the Mad cover as Santa Claus, George Washington, Superman, Darth Vader, Uncle Sam and many other familiar personages. His apparent occupations include, but are far from limited to, high-wire performer, big-game hunter, teenage mutant ninja turtle, doctor, lawyer and Indian guru. He's even been a presidential candidate (just like Magilla Gorilla, Zippy the Pinhead and a host of other toons), using the slogan, "You could do worse — and always have."

Meanwhile, the character's name had been dropped here and there in Mad and other EC publications, as a running gag, for years. Another prominent candidate from their pool of gag names was Melvin Coznowski (spelling varies). It was in #29 (May, 1956) that the face was first joined with the Neuman name, and they've been together ever since.

At first, the drawing most often used as the face's model came from a postcard unearthed by Mad's founding editor, Harvey Kurtzman, who had become intrigued by the variety of places in which he saw it, and thought (erroneously) with this discovery, he'd tracked it to its ultimate source. When, in 1956, the Madmen decided to make him their permanent mascot, Al Feldstein, who had just taken over as editor, commissioned portrait artist Norman Mingo to render the face as a fully-realized, three-dimensional character — up until then, it had only appeared as simple line drawings. Mingo's painting became the basis for all subsequent renditions — and by the time Mingo died, in 1980, his fame for creating the definitive rendition of Alfred E. Neuman had eclipsed all his previous work.

Alfred E. Neuman has appeared on every Mad cover for more than half a century. He's been depicted by Dave Berg, Jack Davis, Frank Kelly Freas, and practically every other artist who's worked there. Tho the character wasn't precisely created for the magazine, Mad's association with him has been unchallenged since the 1960s — and as the decades roll by, it only becomes firmer.

https://www.toonopedia.com/alfred_e.htm

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Let's Play Guess and Get the Artist..!

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Perhaps we can do Katrina vanden Heuvel's face on Alfred E. Newman, since she's the editor and the ownerof The Nation?

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Don't you love the bright red Soviet flag in the background? For some reason they cropped out the hammer and sickle and the golden fringes.

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Born in 1960, vanden Heuvel studied politics and history at Princeton University, writing her Senior thesis on McCarthyism. She has said that during her college years she sometimes "felt like a Russian."


Comrade Red Square, what do you suppose she means?

She sounds like a candidate for the gallery of Americans Who Tell the Truth.

And she reeks of HBO!

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Not all Russians are Communists and not all Communists are Russian. Another example of her ignorance and stupidity.

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Commissarka Pinkie wrote:
Born in 1960, vanden Heuvel studied politics and history at Princeton University, writing her Senior thesis on McCarthyism. She has said that during her college years she sometimes "felt like a Russian."
Comrade Red Square, what do you suppose she means?

I suppose she's in competition with you, Pinkie - but she's got no chance. Your shovel DEFINITELY is bigger than her shovel.

/// off karakter

While the Russians were suffering from oppression by the idiotic, stagnant, and kleptocratic system, Katrina vander Heuven learned to sympathize with the oppressors. Could it get more elaborately aristocratic?

The mandatory liberal current truth of the time was that the Russians are like that because they are Russians - it's their culture and we have no business messing with it.

This is like saying that Having Kim Jong Il for president is in the Korean culture. Or having Ayatollas run Iran is in the Persian culture. Or having Jimmy Carter in the White House is in the American culture.

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Premier Betty wrote:Not all Russians are Communists and not all Communists are Russian. Another example of her ignorance and stupidity.
Can this be?
Are there those who betray the collective by shirking their communistic duties and not be communist?
Russian / Communist what's in a name? A Rose by other other name is RED. (Well generally speaking)
As to the 'not all Communist are Russian' do I sense dilution of the species?
All does not bode well for the collective future.
Katrina reminds me of Comrade Fonz for some reason.
Power to the troddendown.

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Discover the Networks wrote:A defining moment for Katrina vanden Heuvel came in May 2002 during one of her frequent appearances on MSNBC's Hardball. After vanden Heuvel spoke about how she lived in Harlem and understood the poor, host Chris Matthews let his audience know that in fact she lived in a multimillion-dollar townhouse in a posh section of Morningside Heights.

This womyn is a bigger BSing limousine liberal than I am! I must have her hand in marriage! We must be soulmates <3!

(I originally posted the above on the wrong thread and therefore shame myself. Please forgive me, Comrades.)

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But Chairman, will she be an adequate replacement to you recently deceased soulmate, toaster Helen <3? She may not let you stick the fork in her, although Helen's old kuffia-themed dust cover may fit nicely.

And is she progressive enough to let Chairman be Chairman?

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You're right, Red - this Katrina might be one of those uppity career type broads who will make me stay at home and be a decent husband. I simply cannot stand for that. I cannot just stay at home while everyone else is playing with hookers and snorting large quantities of coke - that would be inhumane, absolutely inhumane.

Maybe I could marry her and then get a quick-n-dirty divorce after spending all of her money and ruining her reputation. Yeah, I think that is the best route.

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Premier Betty!
Don't give up....Hint: Look for his signature at the bottom of the tree.

Felt like a Russian? Meowsevich, you're just what she's looking for!

Sometimes I feel like a big boobed Swedish nymphomaniac. One time I felt like a gay limo driver. As Andrew Dice Clay once said "it all depends on the coin toss".

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Speaking of Katrina sympathizing with the Russian communists at the expense of the rest of the Russians, she has had a great predecessor. I was doing research on Angela Davis for another thread, and discovered this nugget of Progressive Truth™:

Wikipedia wrote:Russian dissident and Nobel Laureate Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn criticized Davis's sympathy for the Soviet Union in a speech he delivered to the AFL-CIO on July 9, 1975 in New York City, pointing out hypocrisy in her attitude toward prisoners under Communist governments. According to Solzhenitsyn, a group of Czech dissidents “addressed an appeal to her: `Comrade Davis, you were in prison. You know how unpleasant it is to sit in prison, especially when you consider yourself innocent. You have such great authority now. Could you help our Czech prisoners? Could you stand up for those people in Czechoslovakia who are being persecuted by the state?' Angela Davis answered: 'They deserve what they get. Let them remain in prison.'”

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I'm sorry, but I just don't buy Goober Joe's YouTube expose' concerning Obama's drug use and sexual escapades.

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I don't buy it either. If he had given a republikan head and did lines off his stomach. Now that's a story I could get behind.

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What video? What allegations? I know nothing of these and am blind and deaf to all of its claims.

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All Videos are tools of the Capitalist.
The allegation are all part of the propaganda used to distract and divert attention from the real problem.
The failure of the Proletariat to fall in line en masse behind the President to be.
This must be addressed as there are too many 'free thinkers' out there
Power to the troddendown.


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Yes and all ignorance to the power.
The troddendown are the power.
All power to the troddendown.

Zinoviev
I am Russian, maybe this Hurricane would like to feel me?

Kamenev
I too am Russian, maybe Katrina would like to feel my sack of potatoes? Nothing excites a strong, sturdy baBUSHka than a firm sack of potatoes!

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Russets? Red you know?
All power to the troddendown


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Comrades, comrades! Do you ever think of anything besides oppression? Go back and re-read Katrina's quote I posted. She said she "felt like a Russian"--NOT "she felt up Russians" or even "liked to feel up Russians."

Which is not to say she didn't.

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Sad for the Russians? No feelings.
Power to the troddendown.

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Image[/quote]

Pardon my n00bness, but how on earth did you discover this image of our love child?

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Your love child with whom exactly? With Alfred E. Newman? Leon Trotsky? Any other comrades I'm not aware of?

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Ivan Betinov wrote:A bit of history on our gap-toothed friend:

The name was in use long before Mad magazine came out — on Henry Morgan's old radio show, for one thing; and for another, it was the name of a real-life classical music conductor. The face goes back even farther. It appears on patent medicine labels, signs for roadside eateries, political propaganda etc. (often including his famous slogan, "What, me worry?", or a recognizable variant) going back to the beginning of the 20th century. A little more, in fact, considering the character's more-than-passing resemblance to comics' first superstar, The Yellow Kid. And when Mad did start using both the name and the face, at first it didn't even link them to the same character.

And yet, Alfred E. Neuman has become so closely associated with Mad that by 1963, a letter mailed from Auckland, New Zealand, with no address other than his picture, managed to find its way to the magazine's editorial office in New York City.

So prolific were pre-Mad uses of the face, that when the magazine was sued for copyright infringement (twice, once based on a 1914 copyright and the other on a 1936 one), its major defense was to show the court that the plaintiffs had copied it from even earlier sources. Cartoonists who used it include George McManus (creator of Bringing Up Father), Frederick Burr Opper (creator of Happy Hooligan), Eugene "Zim" Zimmerman (with credits at Puck, Judge, Life and elsewhere), and a host of toon practitioners who neglected to sign their names. Actual human beings said to resemble Alfred E. Neuman include Prince Charles, Ted Koppel, Jimmy Carter and George W. Bush.

How did The "What, Me Worry?" Kid wind up at Mad?

Mad's first use of the face was on the cover of its first reprint volume, The Mad Reader, published in November, 1954. In the comic book itself, he first turned up on the cover of #21 (January, 1955). Four months later, when the publication was reformatted as a magazine, he again appeared on the cover, in addition to playing cameo roles in several interior items, and he's been the magazine's official mascot ever since. He's been depicted on the Mad cover as Santa Claus, George Washington, Superman, Darth Vader, Uncle Sam and many other familiar personages. His apparent occupations include, but are far from limited to, high-wire performer, big-game hunter, teenage mutant ninja turtle, doctor, lawyer and Indian guru. He's even been a presidential candidate (just like Magilla Gorilla, Zippy the Pinhead and a host of other toons), using the slogan, "You could do worse — and always have."

Meanwhile, the character's name had been dropped here and there in Mad and other EC publications, as a running gag, for years. Another prominent candidate from their pool of gag names was Melvin Coznowski (spelling varies). It was in #29 (May, 1956) that the face was first joined with the Neuman name, and they've been together ever since.

At first, the drawing most often used as the face's model came from a postcard unearthed by Mad's founding editor, Harvey Kurtzman, who had become intrigued by the variety of places in which he saw it, and thought (erroneously) with this discovery, he'd tracked it to its ultimate source. When, in 1956, the Madmen decided to make him their permanent mascot, Al Feldstein, who had just taken over as editor, commissioned portrait artist Norman Mingo to render the face as a fully-realized, three-dimensional character — up until then, it had only appeared as simple line drawings. Mingo's painting became the basis for all subsequent renditions — and by the time Mingo died, in 1980, his fame for creating the definitive rendition of Alfred E. Neuman had eclipsed all his previous work.

Alfred E. Neuman has appeared on every Mad cover for more than half a century. He's been depicted by Dave Berg, Jack Davis, Frank Kelly Freas, and practically every other artist who's worked there. Tho the character wasn't precisely created for the magazine, Mad's association with him has been unchallenged since the 1960s — and as the decades roll by, it only becomes firmer.

https://www.toonopedia.com/alfred_e.htm

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I heard bush is pregnant, I think thats adorable!

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Very Large Bear!

Dolt!

It's Barack H. Neuman and The Movement™ is Obamunism™

Hope™
Change™

Damn cracker bear....look at him...all white and fuzzy.
Quit oppressing the baby seals or I'm gonna increase Global Warming when I'm Prez.
Yeah, you think you can swim from ice-flow to ice-flow. Just wait until Al Gore endorses Hillary, that'll be the end of your honkey bear shit.

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Obama wrote:Very Large Bear!

Dolt!

It's Barack H. Neuman and The Movement™ is Obamunism™

Hope™
Change™

Damn cracker bear....look at him...all white and fuzzy.
Quit oppressing the baby seals or I'm gonna increase Global Warming when I'm Prez.
Yeah, you think you can swim from ice-flow to ice-flow. Just wait until Al Gore endorses Hillary, that'll be the end of your honkey bear shit.

Listening up, schwartzer lion bait.....You are now being on official medvyet poo list. Notifying lackey useful idiot lions to being on lookout for your watermelon munching mug.
Checking six, Sambovitch...You are never being out of reaching.....From a medvyet....

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Stop it stop it stop it!

If you Peoples™ people here are going to make me LMAO every post....at least replace the toilet paper for the next guy.

Sheeeez.

Damn cracker bear...........Schwartzer lion bait


Ooops, I shit my pants again.

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Remember, Navigator--only one square at a time.

Maybe we should go back to the old days of newspapers, corncobs, and leaves--after they've fallen to the ground dead, of course.

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You mean for the masses only of course. Right?

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Strong Obamunism Will Cure Weak Socialism with Hope and Change!


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Life once again imitates the Cube...

Lame duck reporters are bored

Michael Calderone of Politico wrote:No president is irrelevant and Bush has proved that vividly in recent weeks as his administration has been forced to frantically intervene in the mounting subprime mortgage crisis. In addition, the nation continues to fight two foreign wars and Bush is commander in chief.

But several White House correspondents, in interviews with Politico, describe a scene where one might expect tumbleweeds lazily blowing across the finely manicured lawn on Pennsylvania Avenue.
"Bush fatigue" sets in
-Mikhail

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The economy is a Self Fulfilling Prophecy.
If The MTE or The Magic Change Guy Image is elected I'm sure everything will be so much better...just because they say so.

It's a real drag...I'm so busy now working my beet farm bones to dust I don't even have time nor energy to post! Electing a liberal, I'm sure, will bring the relief I need to sit home more and enjoy whats really important in life: Ya'll's sense of humor!
;-)


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Mick Brady who runs Dancing in Tongues blog sent us this:

Barack's Identity Crisis

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Comrade Brady wrote:Zdras, Red,

I thought you just might have some brilliant words of disinformation for the masses to go with this image I cooked up last night in my samovar. If so, have at it. I was so exhausted by my creative efforts that, for the sake of The People's Party, I thought I'd better pass it on to someone else in the proletariat to finish the job.

The Revolution must go forward!

Mick Brady<br>dancingintongues.blogspot.com


 
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