The bipartisan Iraq Study Group (ISG) has finally released a report, suggesting that the best way to end the Iraq War is to throw a "marvelous international party" where all sides of the conflict would have "a rocking good time together in an intimate setting" and a chance to mingle.

"If we must try something new, why not make it fun while we still have time?" says James Baker, a former Secretary of State. "We simply must get the disco ball rolling by New Year's Eve," agrees his co-author Lee Hamilton. Both Baker and Hamilton emphasize that if one party can't solve Iraq's problems, it would be irresponsible to dismiss the idea of a series of parties.

Despite the report's lukewarm reception, its authors refuse to be dismissed. Yesterday on CNN, the elder statesmen Baker came out swinging."The festive atmosphere and the ensuing friendships will help us discover that the kidnappers and the beheaders may also be convivial party goers, exceptional dancers, and may know exciting party tricks," Baker told CNN's Wolf Blitzer on The Situation Room. "Hell, I might even learn some new moves from al-Zawahiri himself! Once we get to that stage, I'm sure they'll also get to like us and remember us warmly the following day. Because, frankly, what's to not like?"


According to the report, all U.N. members except Israel should join Saddam loyalists, al-Qaeda, and Shiite militia leaders in a multi-level club "to be designed by European architects with exquisite cultural sensitivity, and a dozen fabulous party rooms."

Women in full hijab will be free to sit silently along a wall in one room, while other rooms will feature women kidnapped from various Arab and European nations dancing in overhead cages. Indoor swimming pools will be filled with cherry Kool-Aid, with Baywatch-inspired lifeguards on hand to provide mouth to mouth. Food fights will be welcomed as an alternative to suicide bombing.

"One 'single' party may not solve our problems, but 'singles' parties -" said Hamilton, drawing out the 's' in 'singles,' "- now, that's a different story. Now we might have a template for bringing insurgents into the political process."


A Costume Room will offer insurgents the opportunity to dress up, escape the stress of being bad guys, and "just do fun bonding stuff together," according to Hamilton. Available costumes include Mickey Mouse, Yosemite Sam, Oprah Winfrey/Abu Ghraib guard combo, and a Guantanamo prisoner orange overall.

A series of Defloration Rooms adorned with Koranic illustrations of paradise will be provided by Coalition Forces for insurgents to hook up with virgins. "These boys are holdin' out for 72 virgins in paradise; we've gotta show 'em there are alternatives. They simply don't have to wait that long," Hamilton explains.


The emcee of the event, by general consent, will be Whoopi Goldberg. The entertainment package includes the ladies of The View, as well as a group of progressive musicians who helped to make this moment possible: Young, Streisand, Springsteen, the Dixie Chicks - and, of course, Mick Jagger, who is expected to sing Sweet Neocon.

"The paramount message here is one of inclusiveness," says Baker. "With respect, we're saying, 'George Bush, wake up and smell the world community.' If you can't bring all sides of a conflict together and make them all happy, you can't have a war."

Moving forward, the ISG recommends insurgents and militia leaders mete out punishments in accordance with Iraqi law, which they will henceforth shape. Hanging, dismemberment, drilling holes in people's bodies, and vilification without trial would be permitted, so long as a lawyer is present.

The party organizers are already setting up large speakers all over Iraq, to amplify the ethnic music by Iraqi performers in modest dress, so that no one will hear the sound of the U.S. forces evacuating.

Special reporting for the Cube by Heather Kommissarova

Whooo! Call up South Amerika and start ordering the drugs, because it's not a party if no one's drunk and/or stoned.

Maybe Bushitler will let us rent out the Rose Garden for a few nights.

I picture a slightly intoxicated Bill Clinton standing by the hors d' oeurves table checking out cleavage and hitting on Ahmadinejad's wife (after Elisabeth Hasselbeck spurns him).

Meanwhile, Nancy Pelosi and Cindy Sheehan are trying to teach the Electric Slide to a bunch of reluctant burqua clad women.

Comrades, I think you are all missing the point! This is truly a wonderful day for communism. We should all celebrate and welcome Comrade Baker into the fold. I can only believe that his defection signals a mass exodus from the conservative/fascist camp. Perhaps the elder Bush is next and his entire clan? They would be powerful allies!

SMERSH. WITH DEEP REGRETS ANNOUNCES THE PASSING OF COMRADE FIDEL. TWO DAYS IN ADVANCE.

From: Comintern

The addition of James Baker to the ranks of the Revolution has been a major political coup. But Comrades, our work is only partially done. The re-education facitilities in the Haight-Ashbury commune are woefully short of konservative kandidates. We must escalate our kidnappings in order to further promote our agenda through cultural relativity and sensitivity training. The capture and thought-reprocessing of the repulsively beautiful M. Malkin and A. Coulter would be a major blow to the fascists. While some might find these reactionary women "attractive", my own sophisticated tastes run to the more womanly robust builds of the Motherland. Speaking of robust and woMANLY builds, can anyone tell me if the rumors of Rosie O'Donnell and Hillary Clinton are true? Will they indeed be performing the Lambada (the Forbidden Dance) with the People's Banana at Bakerfest 2007? My righteous socialist libido swoons and longs for such xtc! It takes me back to the days of collectivism during the 123rd Five Year plan watching our good, healthy Russian women toil in the dirt to produce a bushel of wheat/acre (oh, the heady days of Hero Worker Production!). Now, if you comrades will excuse me I TIVO'ed the View this morning and I need some alone time.......

If Jimmy and James are throwing a group-hug soiree, you can count me in! Hell, they'll be more Nobel Peace Prize winners and aspirants in the room than freeloading lobbyists.

I've instructed Chateau Babeuf to send over several truckloads of our bold, new cuvee, "The Dictator". You'll love it! Its mind-controlling agents are even stronger than those of our perennial favorite "Propaganda" Syrah.
-----------------
<Begin Radvert (Radical Advertisement)>

Of course, no holiday party is complete without the ruby glow of a finely crafted, Red wine. This year, we strongly recommend (read: it's not optional and black marias are waiting) that you to chose Babeuf. It's your turn to have a taste of power.*

*This message has been brought to you by the People's Vintners at Chateau Babeuf. Buy a case, or else!

<End Radvert>

I USUALLY MAKE THEM TALK.GUESS WHAT? I STILL DO.
SMERSH HEAD of KGB sec. 9

<img src="https://panhandlersunite.netfirms.com/borat12.jpg" />
<p>Let's party begin - Borat and ISG rock-group performing a new hit
<p>"In my country there is problem,
<p>And that problem is the Jew.
<p>...
<p>Throw the Jew down the well,
<p>So my country can be free. So my country can be free!
<p>...Then we have a big party."

THROW THE INFIDEL DOWN THE WELL AS WELL

Who's supplying the hookers?

Chairman M. S. Punchenko wrote:Who's supplying the hookers?

Madame Svetlana of The People's Bordello of The Common Goods in La$ Vega$, I believe.

Madame Svetlana? Wow, that might be a bit pricey. I'll get on the phone to Rangel and see if we can get a grant to cover the cost, Marx forbid if it comes out of our wallets!

Chairman M. S. Punchenko wrote:Madame Svetlana? Wow, that might be a bit pricey. I'll get on the phone to Rangel and see if we can get a grant to cover the cost, Marx forbid if it comes out of our wallets!

No sweat comrades. I got it covered. I still have a few dozen debit cards left over from Hurricane Katrina.

Dr. W. S. Palimpsest wrote:

Chairman M. S. Punchenko wrote:Who's supplying the hookers?

Madame Svetlana of The People's Bordello of The Common Goods in La$ Vega$, I believe.

I thought Comrade Hillary was going to? But don't worry if you impregnate someone..ABORTIONS FOR ALL!!

Comrade Che Cure Booty wrote:

Chairman M. S. Punchenko wrote:Madame Svetlana? Wow, that might be a bit pricey. I'll get on the phone to Rangel and see if we can get a grant to cover the cost, Marx forbid if it comes out of our wallets!

No sweat comrades. I got it covered. I still have few dozen debit cards left over from Hurricane Katrina.

Good thinking, comrade. We're going to have to start calling you Che Cure 'Booty Call'!

With Comrade Carter there, we could party like it's 1979... Hostages, shmostages! Comrade Carter came the closest to achieving true communism of any Amerikanski president.

Comrade Carter, after being thrown out of the Oval Office on his ass, lost his grin, "like a raccoon trying to eat fish guts from a wire brush" and turned mean. This after he forced his loopy mother into the Peace Corps, where no doubt she preached to the heathens who were happier without her. And his sister moved to Oklahoma, of course, better to commune with Oral Roberts, the faith healer with a medical school, and she died. Of cancer. A faith healer dying. That sent freshets of Schadenfreude splashing all over the room.

Since Comrade Carter's bum's rush at the hand of Ronald Reagan, that hideous monster who tempted all good Comrades with the scourge of money by doubling the wealth of AmeriKKKa, Comrade Carter has turned mean, and silly. Chasing that Macaca Adid over Somalia, sticking his unlovely nose everywhere it shouldn't be, except Rosalyn (gee I hope I spelled that right), minding the business of their daughter, who is uglier than Chastity Bono and Chelsea Clinton's love child with Michael Moore and if they didn't get on top they'd be dead. And by the way, how does Comrade Michael Moore actually sit on the Democratic platform without it collapsing? We'll never know; he was last seen taking his weight at a truck stop with a public scale.

And now Comrade Carter's head is so firmly up his ass that he puts Charmin behind his ears and his dentist is an amateur spelunker.

If Komrade Karter and Komrade Hillary were to have a child together, we would have the perfect leader for the future. We must immediately move to obtain genetic material from both of them and combine it in the People's Genetic Laboratory in Sverdlovsk. I will contact my friends in the KGB and instruct them to carry out this plan.

That genetic material would have to be kept in magnetic bottles. But how would the fertizilation be done? Comrade Hillary's DNA is actually antimatter which when combined with normal matter turns entirely into energy. That screaming raging bitch isn't her personality: it's the destruction of air molecules of normal matter impinging on the forefield shielding her from the normal world, a forcefield designed by the Jet Propulsion Laboratories by a dream involving a tongue of fire licking from the rent earth and a deep voice, intoning over Verdi's "Dies Irae" that they should make a receptacle for The One Who Would Come.

Comrade Hillary's DNA is to close to LAIKA's. We could have the Bitch Clone 10 more Clintons...We will submit this to the next general assembly.
SMERSH HEAD of KGB.esc.9

But does she have enough nipples? Wait, silly question, Commissar Theocritus. She has 300,000,000 tits on which to suck.

But let's clone her say 50 times and put them all in a room very well soundproofed. After the earthquake finished, we could shoot the one that came out, grind it up into sausage, feed it to AIDS-ridden Bengalis, make them into falafel and feed it to Osama Bin Laden and give him a powerful purgative, and then call in the Pope to exorcise it.

That way Hillarybitch might be gotten rid of.

(GASP!) Commissar Theocritus, quickly, into the closet! I think I heard Her Excellency walking the hallways...yes...I think its her! Oh my, if she reads what you just said she might give you a tour of Ft. Marcy Park, you don't want that Commissar Theocritus. No, people don't come back after the tour, they instead vote Democrat for all eternity (wink, wink). What to do, what to do? I know! Here, smear this black lipstick all over your face and put on these combat boots, she'll think you're one of her butch romping pals making a sincere compliment. Oh Lenin, I can smell her from here; the clicking, the clicking of Her jackboots grows louder! Oh Lenin have mercy on us!! Here, stuff this wad of cash in your pocket, oh, and these travelers cheques, this might pie her off! Good luck comrade!

(Jumps out window) Goooood luuuucccckkkkkk (parachute opens to make a clean getaway)

I've come out of the closet for good and there's no going back. But I would make an exception to drag her by her badly coiffed hair into a large one, kicking and squealing, her trotters scarring the floors, while I scream, "Die, piglet, die! You goddamned sow! Die for Vince Foster"

Because you know what happened with Vince Foster. He woke up one day in the Lincoln Bedroom, besmeared with stinking, oily unguents with a suspicious stench to them, and next to him, passed out, her ass taking 3/4 of the bed, was her royal highness, her ass so stippled that ants break legs crawling over it. With each snore, the wave of flesh of each buttock started and raced toward each other, until, like the tsunami that took out Indonesia they met in the middle, and she let out a fart at 110dB.

He had a heart attack and they could not scrape off the tell-tale remains of their night of passion with leather and whips so they dumped him in Fort Marcy Park, known as a crusing spot for the baser sort of the third sex, who, knuckled dragging the ground approached Foster and sensing with their animal knowledge the signs of his night of passion with Her Empress, ran away in fear of their lives, which says quite a lot, and on that Foster dropped to his knees and shot himself, where not even the Angel Gabriel can keep from looking down on him with contempt, and Satan himself laughed himself into stomach cramps.

Critter Crowed

Because you know what happened with Vince Foster.

Guess what's going to happen to Theocritus? Once I'm President, I will create the Department of Diversity and appoint him it's first Secretary. There, he will proceed to work himself into peptic ulcer, but not until all appliances are free of discrimination and Bryan Hathaway plus the rest of the Wisconsin Four are out of jail.
In loving gratitude, the Wisconsin Four decide to hold a victory picnic in Fort Marcy Park and make Theocritus the guest of honor. In a wonderful display of self sacrifice, Theocritus drinks the Hemlock Kool-Aid and the Wisconsin Four gets to show him the meaning of true love. A grateful nation will then build a granite monument to immortalize the event on that very spot and every year people, appliances, oatmeal, and venison will gather before the monument and hold a candlelight vigil, cry croc tears and sing Kumbaya.
Years pass by and finally all the states declare that day to be a Federal Holiday. Hallmark and American Greetings create Theocritus Cards, and children in schools across the nation write essays on the meaning of Theocritus Day.
Are we all sobbing yet?

It is done! My agents have sourced ova from our Leader and sperm cells from Komrade Karter. Furthermore, my agents in North-Africa have rounded up several female Macaca sylvanus which we will impregnate with our future leader's zygotes. I, Commissar Vodkov, now hold the fate of the world in my hand! Bow down and grovel!

Commissar Theocritus wrote:I've come out of the closet for good and there's no going back. But I would make an exception to drag her by her badly coiffed hair into a large one, kicking and squealing, her trotters scarring the floors, while I scream, "Die, piglet, die! You goddamned sow! Die for Vince Foster"

Because you know what happened with Vince Foster. He woke up one day in the Lincoln Bedroom, besmeared with stinking, oily unguents with a suspicious stench to them, and next to him, passed out, her ass taking 3/4 of the bed, was her royal highness, her ass so stippled that ants break legs crawling over it. With each snore, the wave of flesh of each buttock started and raced toward each other, until, like the tsunami that took out Indonesia they met in the middle, and she let out a fart at 110dB.

He had a heart attack and they could not scrape off the tell-tale remains of their night of passion with leather and whips so they dumped him in Fort Marcy Park, known as a crusing spot for the baser sort of the third sex, who, knuckled dragging the ground approached Foster and sensing with their animal knowledge the signs of his night of passion with Her Empress, ran away in fear of their lives, which says quite a lot, and on that Foster dropped to his knees and shot himself, where not even the Angel Gabriel can keep from looking down on him with contempt, and Satan himself laughed himself into stomach cramps.

PLEASE BE CAREFULL .CRAIG LIVINGSTONE. WAS THE ONE WHO DID IN VINCE.F.
THIS CAN NOT BE PUBLIC.
SMERSH.HEAD of KGB.sec.9

But know, Commissar Vodkov, that no matter your achievements, no matter what you have gathered to further the Glorious Peoples' Revolution that it is only I who have the stomach to do the deed.

I watched Hillary's Pretty in Pink news conference. I watched Baba Wawa. I sat through it, groaning, with severe intestinal rumblings heard in the next county, and had to put my hands over my ears to keep my head from exploding.

And I know that I am the only one who did, because I distinctly heard Hillary say about her cookie recipe, "I only bake them in the woods in my gingerbread house in Fort Marcy Park. If you use a male child, you need to add nutmeg and puppy dog's tails, and that's why we got Buddy. If you use a female child, well I won't because I have other uses for a female child."

And then over her shoulder, "Ickes! Ickes! Has that order from Doc Johnson come in yet?"

So I, esteemed Commisar Vodkov, am the only one in the history of the world to do it. After that episode Harold Ickes took himself out of the running and went to cleaning charnel houses, and James Carville went back to Carville, Louisiana, where his father and his grandfather and his great-grandfather had been postmaster of one of the two leper colonies in America, the other being in Hawaii, where James Carville got his start by selling the parts that dropped off to Hillary to make cookies for the DNC.

Craig Livingstone was proof that people without anything which even the most doting mother could call a brain are called into service by the Clinton White Trash House. I know an ex-manager of a porn theater and strip club who is more direct--and more intelligent.

And think. Craig Livingstone is out there, making more neckless Craig Livingstones, whose stubby-fingered children pull things off supermarket shelves and who cannot be let into your house because your best Bach CDs would vanish, not that they would appreciate them, but because they're round and shiny and kind of cool.

The cat would be found, dead, in the toilet, having lost a fight to see who got to drink first.

PUBLIC NOTICE
All agents and workers of the party.
THE WHEREABOUTS OF CRAIG LIVINGSTONE (AKA FLINTSTONE) HAS TO BE REPORTED TO KGB. A.S.A.P.
HE MAY HAVE BEEN WORKING WITH SANDY BURGLER AND IS BELIEVED TO BE (in FECTED) DEFECTED.

Comrade Hillary, thank you for your kind remembrances. In appreciation I'll call of my friends, the Komrade Kommando Killer Queers who will break into your house and rearrange the furniture.

But I quite like the idea of Theocritus Day. That's when we all get out our pillows, like the one that Alice Roosevelt Longworth had embroidered, which said, "If you can't say anything nice about someone, come sit by me."

It will be the feast of Nemesis (after Saki's short story of the same name; excellent).

Come to think of it, just what was Sandy Burglar stealing, and where did it put it? Into his socks or into Bill Clinton's Socks? Well, that's the only pussy-cat that Bill had whom he liked and who wasn't on the payroll.

But then his secretary took Socks home with her after Clinton no longer needed the touchy-feely aspect of it, and Buddy got run over, didn't he? Oh, no. Sorry, The Bushitlers had him offed because Saturn was rising in Scorpio under an empty moon while the sun rose in the west.

That's it. And where's that goddamned pharmacist with my meds? I'm due to speak at the DNC in an hour and reality is setting in and I need a good buzz. I haven't heard voices in at least two hours, and I really miss those whispers from Saturn telling me that up is down and right is left and Nancy Pelosi has a brain and Hillary Clinton is a human and Harold Ickes isn't really a demon painted by Earl Scheib.

<i>Where are the goddamned medicines? Heads will roll!</b>

Commissar Theocritus wrote:Where are the goddamned medicines? Heads will roll!

GET A FUCKING GRIP COMRADE.
SMERSH HEAD of KGB.sec.9

Grip? What grip? Sanity impedes the revolution. Have you ever heard of a true revolutionary who didn't channel dead people?

Must get back to work to put my foot on the neck of the proles; I came home to polish off a spot on my jackboots.

Commissar Theocritus wrote:Grip? What grip? Sanity impedes the revolution. Have you ever heard of a true revolutionary who didn't channel dead people?

Must get back to work to put my foot on the neck of the proles; I came home to polish off a spot on my jackboots.

YOU PRIMADONNA.. GOING HOME TO F**** CLEAN YOUR BOOTS???
I'LL MAKE YOU WALK TO SIBERIA IN PENNY LOAFERS.
RED HOT SMERSH HEAD of KGB. sec.9

Esteemed Comrade Theocritus;

The revolution does not need unstable persons except as cannon fodder for causing social unrest to fuel the revolution. After the revolution, these persons will have outlived their usefulness and will be disposed of in the traditional manner: A pistol shot in the back of the head next to a mass grave in a forest somewhere.

I therefore beg you not to force Comrade SMERSH to take action. Loosing you at this critical point would not benefit us.

Kommissar Vodkov wrote:Esteemed Comrade Theocritus;

The revolution does not need unstable persons except as cannon fodder for causing social unrest to fuel the revolution. After the revolution, these persons will have outlived their usefulness and will be disposed of in the traditional manner: A pistol shot in the back of the head next to a mass grave in a forest somewhere.

I therefore beg you not to force Comrade SMERSH to take action. Loosing you at this critical point would not benefit us.

Kommissar Vodkov, Verry clever. How is the wife ?
SMERSH HEAD of KGB. sec.9

smersh wrote:

Kommissar Vodkov wrote:Esteemed Comrade Theocritus;

The revolution does not need unstable persons except as cannon fodder for causing social unrest to fuel the revolution. After the revolution, these persons will have outlived their usefulness and will be disposed of in the traditional manner: A pistol shot in the back of the head next to a mass grave in a forest somewhere.

I therefore beg you not to force Comrade SMERSH to take action. Loosing you at this critical point would not benefit us.

Kommissar Vodkov, Verry clever. How is the wife ?
SMERSH HEAD of KGB. sec.9

Are you threatening me Comrade SMERSH?

Kommissar Vodkov wrote:

smersh wrote:

Kommissar Vodkov wrote:Esteemed Comrade Theocritus;

The revolution does not need unstable persons except as cannon fodder for causing social unrest to fuel the revolution. After the revolution, these persons will have outlived their usefulness and will be disposed of in the traditional manner: A pistol shot in the back of the head next to a mass grave in a forest somewhere.

I therefore beg you not to force Comrade SMERSH to take action. Loosing you at this critical point would not benefit us.

Kommissar Vodkov, Verry clever. How is the wife ?
SMERSH HEAD of KGB. sec.9

Are you threatening me Comrade SMERSH?

SMERSH NEVER THREATENS. HE ACTS SWIFTLE. NO MERCY.
SMERSH HEAD of KGB.sec.9

smersh wrote:

Kommissar Vodkov wrote:

smersh wrote: Kommissar Vodkov, Verry clever. How is the wife ?
SMERSH HEAD of KGB. sec.9

Are you threatening me Comrade SMERSH?

SMERSH NEVER THREATENS. HE ACTS SWIFTLE. NO MERCY.
SMERSH HEAD of KGB.sec.9

Kommissar Vodkov is a SMART MAN and know the inner workings of Lubianka well. Kind reagards to the fam.
SMERSH HEAD of KGB.sec.9
https://members.tripod.com/~rcjustice/pres.html
SMERSH HEAD of KGB. sec. 9

Meissner, btw, died on Brown's plane.

And then there was Ron Miller, co-owner of a natural
gas company called Creek Systems. It was Miller whose
lawsuit threatened to expose bribery and other crimes
committed not only by Oklahoma Natural Gas but also by
Arkla and its executives, former Clinton chief of
staff Mack McLarty likely among them.

Days before he was supposed to testify before the
Burton committee, he became mysteriously ill and soon
died, almost assuredly of anthrax poisoning. Rashly
perhaps, Miller had told a colleague that after his
testimony, “Al Gore will never become president.”

An Oklacide?
SMERSH HEAD of KGB.sec.9

https://www.belinda.ca/page_ml.asp?pageid=2 Belinda Is Comrade William C. new friend and is not to be discussed in public. Party rules.
SMERSH HEAD of KGB sec. 9.

Comrade Smersh, of <i>course</i> I came home to polish my jackboots. You forget that I'm, well, a queer. It's in the blood.

Yeah. Right. I hate Streisand, and she's next, Comrades, for total annihilation.

Lots of people around the HillBillies wound up dead. I insisted that Vince Foster was murdered because it had Her Empress's trotter-prints all over it, but an old friend of mine, who incidentally was more than connected with the people who wrote the $tarr Report, insisted that it was suicide. Sitting in this house, five feet from where I type, he said, forcefully, "Theocritus, it was suicide. The filing cabinets are in my office while I'm writing... I've been through them." If I hadn't known him, and well, since 1972, I'd have thought otherwise.

But perhaps the HillBillies got to him too. They're insidious, these demons made up to look like people.

By the way, did you hear that the Bushes had to put the mirrors back into the White Trash House?

Commissar Theocritus wrote:Comrade Smersh, of <i>course</i> I came home to polish my jackboots. You forget that I'm, well, a queer. It's in the blood.

Yeah. Right. I hate Streisand, and she's next, Comrades, for total annihilation.

Lots of people around the HillBillies wound up dead. I insisted that Vince Foster was murdered because it had Her Empress's trotter-prints all over it, but an old friend of mine, who incidentally was more than connected with the people who wrote the $tarr Report, insisted that it was suicide. Sitting in this house, five feet from where I type, he said, forcefully, "Theocritus, it was suicide. The filing cabinets are in my office while I'm writing... I've been through them." If I hadn't known him, and well, since 1972, I'd have thought otherwise.
YES.
SMERSH HEAD of KGB. sec.9 PS.we still need to know the whereabouts of craig livinstone.
But perhaps the HillBillies got to him too. They're insidious, these demons made up to look like people.

By the way, did you hear that the Bushes had to put the mirrors back into the White Trash House?

YES
BY THE WAY WE STILL NEED TO KNOW THE WHEREABOUTS OF CRAIG LIVINGSTONE.
SMERSH HEAD of KGB. sec. 9

• On June 10,1992 Mohammed Salameh made the first of
his 46 phone calls to Iraq, most of them to his uncle,
a PLO operative living in Baghdad. Salameh would be
convicted for his role in the first WTC bombing.
• Two weeks later, Abdul Yasin, an American-born Iraqi
then living in Baghdad, went to the US embassy in
Jordan and secured an American passport.
• On September 1, 1992, the man we know as Ramzi
Yousef, the WTC mastermind, arrived in New York.
Yousef just happened to be traveling on an Iraqi
passport. Yasin arrived a few days later.
• In October 1992, VP candidate Al Gore chided the
incumbent President Bush for his “dangerous blindness
to the murderous ambitions of a despot” and cited a
RAND corporation study that reported an estimated 1400
terrorists operating out of Iraq.
• On February 26, 1993, the second anniversary to the
day of Iraq's ignominious expulsion from Kuwait,
Yousef and company planted their bomb under the World
Trade Center. Yousef was disappointed at the results.
He had hoped to topple one building into the other
and kill 250,000 people.
• Of the conspirators, only Yousef and Yasin managed
to escape the country. Scarred from spilled
chemicals, Yasin fled to Baghdad where he stayed until
the toppling of Saddam's regime ten years later.
• When Iraqi intelligence tried to assassinate the
senior Bush a month after the WTC bombing, Al Gore
thundered against a regime “based on terrorism and
atrocities against its own people” and expressed his
desire that it be “replaced.”
• In the spring of 1994, an ABC stringer found Yasin
working for the Iraqi government in Baghdad. Although
Yasin's involvement was fully documented, the Clinton
administration did not make a serious attempt to
extradite Yasin. To do so would have been to
acknowledge Iraq's likely complicity in the bombing
and that would have demanded a serious response.
• The media have no such excuse. To show how deep
this bias runs, both Peter Lance's Triple Cross and
Lawrence Wright's much praised The Looming Tower purge
Yasin completely from their extended discussions of
WTC I, even to reject an Iraqi connection. And these
are two of the more honest mainstream accounts.
• Wright concedes that he does not know who sponsored
WTC I. Lance makes a shaky case for al Qaeda.
• As Lance admits, however, Osama bin Laden denied
knowing Yousef before WTC I, and bin Laden was never
shy about claiming responsibility where due. When
asked about financing, Yousef would cite only “family
and friends.” The Justice Department did not indict
bin Laden for the crime.
• On January 6, 1995, a fire broke out in Yousef's
Manila apartment where he and his fellow Baluchi,
Abdul Hakim Murad, were mixing chemicals. Yousef
escaped, but when Murad went back to retrieve Yousef's
laptop, Philippine police apprehended him. On the
laptop were the plans for Bojinka, a devious scheme to
blow up a dozen airliners over the Pacific.
• Murad was a pilot. He talked to the police about
flying a private plane into the CIA building. Under
duress, Murad told of a third plot, one to hijack
airliners and fly them into U.S. targets including the
White House, the Sears Tower, and the World Trade
Center. Murad, who learned to fly in the U.S., was to
orchestrate the training of the pilots.
• Lance interviewed the Philippine police, and they
insist that they turned the planes-as-missiles
information over to the FBI in January 1995 with the
rest of the information.
• Lance argues that Yousef and his “uncle” Khalid
Sheikh Mohammad (KSM) originated the 9-11 plot and had
drafted plans as early as 1994. He ties the Baluchis
into al Qaeda.
• Laurie Mylroie makes a much stronger argument that
the loose living, religiously indifferent
Baluchis—Murad, Yousef, KSM and their various
“cousins”—were an elite, Iraqi-trained crew of
terrorists who put their services on the world market
once the Iraq-Iran war came to an end. Mylroie does
not believe that they hooked up with bin Laden until
1996 when the still obscure Saudi moved to
Afghanistan.
• Many serious people—including Lance and anti-terror
czar Richard Clarke—think it possible that the
Baluchis taught Terry Nichols how to build a truck
bomb during one of his many visits to the Philippines.
The Clinton administration found it much more
politically useful to drop the swarthy “John Doe #2”
from the investigation and restrict the OKC bomb plot
to the blond and crew-cut.
• In July 1996, Murad and Yousef were jailed in NYC
cells next to mob informant Gregory Scarpa, Jr.
Yousef told Scarpa that he planned to blow up a plane
to cause a mistrial and that he had operatives on the
ground to help.
• The FBI set up a dummy Mafia front company called
Roma. Scarpa gave Yousef the number and conned him
into believing that the Roma people could patch his
calls anywhere in the world. The FBI was, of course,
listening in. Yousef outsmarted the FBI by making his
critical calls in Baluchi, a language its agents could
not translate.
• On the morning of July 17, 1996, the Islamic Change
Movement, which Mylroie believes to be the name used
by Iraqi intelligence, threatened an act of shocking
magnitude against the United States. The warning
closed as follows: “Their time is at the morning-dawn.
Is not the morning-dawn near?”
• July 17 was National Liberation Day in Iraq,
Saddam's evil Fourth of July. On that day in 1996, he
made what Mylroie calls "the most angry, vengeful
speech of his entire life."
• A 1999 document from the files of the Iraqi
Intelligence Services—this one planning a series of
terrorist acts around the world called “Blessed
July”—closes with a handwritten note, “Their
appointment is in the morning, and indeed the morning
is near." None of the three Arabic speakers with whom
I consulted could cite another example of this
specific call to action, all but identical to the one
from July 17, 1996. Nor could I find anything close
online.
• That same July 17, The U.S. Navy on the east coast
was on its highest state of alert since the Cuban
Missile Crisis. There were unprecedented sightings of
cruisers up and down Long Island. This was two days
before the start of the Atlanta Olympics.
• At 8:31 PM on July 17, 1996 at least 270 people saw
streaks of light ascending towards TWA Flight 800,
culminating in the destruction of the plane. At that
same moment, FAA radar operators in New York saw an
unknown object "merging" with TWA 800 in the seconds
before the crash and rushed the radar data to
Washington. It was the FAA data that prompted
emergency meetings at the White House.
• In Triple Cross, Peter Lance argues that a planted
bomb likely caused the destruction. Although this
explanation fits within the evidence the NTSB and the
media have chosen to believe, it does not fit within
the real evidence as it exists. Nor does it do
justice to the planes-as-missiles theory that Lance
does a good job developing.
• In fact, Lance cites a dozen examples before 9-11 of
executed or planned planes-as-missiles plots, three of
which were before July 1996. Lance also reveals that
al Qaeda had already purchased a used Sabre-40 jet in
Arizona before 1996.
• In First Strike, James Sanders and I theorize that
the U.S. Navy fired its missiles at an unidentified
aircraft (UAC), likely a terrorist jet, in close
proximity to the 747, perhaps even attacking it. Some
combination of missiles and explosives resulted in the
destruction of TWA Flight 800. Four years later, I am
less confident of this theory despite some verbal
confirmation from within both TWA and the military.
• The anonymous Review referenced above presents a
similar scenario--and does so in stunning detail--but
with the critical difference that the UAC was likely
unmanned. This argues for a Navy test gone awry.
• Whether a test or a terrorist shoot-down, both
scenarios suggest that Washington was wary of an
aerial terrorist attack against New York City. The
concern was real enough to put the Navy, locked and
loaded, up and down the coast of Long Island on July
17, 1996.
• In his book Against All Enemies, Clarke reports that
within 30 minutes of the plane's crash, he had
convened a meeting in the White House Situation Room.
Tellingly, he did not do this for the ValuJet 592
crash in Florida two months earlier.
• On the night of July 17, President Clinton was holed
up in the family quarters. Col. Buzz Patterson, who
carried the "nuclear football" for the president and
was in the White House that night, could tentatively
cite only one person who was with the president,
Deputy National Security Advisor Sandy Berger.
Patterson was kept out of the loop.
• In those same first few hours after the crash,
Yousef used his Roma connection to report in Baluchi,
"What had to be done has been done, TWA 800 (last two
words unintelligible)." Whether he was responsible or
not for the crash, he was taking credit. The next day
he did ask for a mistrial.
• Likely to make sure Scarpa did not reveal how the
FBI may have unwittingly facilitated the destruction
of TWA 800, the Justice Department ignored his
cooperation on the Yousef matter and gave him a hard
40 in a Colorado high security prison, an excessive
sentence for a non-lethal RICO conviction.
• The FBI traced at least one of Yousef's Roma
patch-through calls to KSM in Qatar. KSM fled the
country one step ahead of the FBI for Prague in the
Czech Republic.
• Some time later in the summer of 1996, Patterson was
returning a daily intelligence update from the Oval
Office to the National Security Council when he
noticed the heading "Operation Bojinka." Patterson
“keyed on a reference to a plot to use commercial
airliners as weapons."
• As a pilot, Patterson had a keen interest in the
same. "I can state for a fact that this information
was circulated within the U.S. intelligence
community," Patterson writes, "and that in late 1996
the president was aware of it." The President's hand
written comments on the documents verified the same.
• Richard Clarke would go on to take credit for
discovering the spurious exploding fuel tank theory
that provided a non-missile/ non-terrorist explanation
for the crash and served as the first part of the
“exit strategy” from the TWA 800 investigation.
• On August 22, 1996, then Deputy Attorney General
Jamie Gorelick chaired a D.C. meeting at which the FBI
was effectively ordered to abandon the search for
terrorists and to validate the exploding fuel tank
theory.
• After the death of former FBI agent John O'Neill in
the WTC on 9-11, Clarke would give him credit for
creating the second part of the exit strategy, the
notorious zoom climb scenario that the CIA and FBI
would use to discredit all 270 eyewitnesses. After
showing the CIA-created video of the zoom climb, the
FBI shut down the criminal investigation in November
1997.

Telling the truth about TWA Flight 800 in the months
before the 1996 presidential election would have
jeopardized Clinton's future. Less understandable is
the Bush administration's complicity in the continued
TWA Flight 800 cover-up. One reason suggests itself:
The truth is sufficiently shocking that it would
rightly rock the world's faith in America and in its
capital markets. By comparison, Watergate was a
stroll in the park.

As to the Baluchis, think of them as producers of a
terror show. They provide the script and the
director, but they need investors and actors. The
investors do not have to like each other or trust each
other. They just have to share the same larger goal,
in this case the destruction of the Great Satan. Al
Qaeda affiliate, al-Zarqawi, seemed to have operated
in Iraq both before and after the war under a similar
understanding. The Path continues:

• In February 1998, President Clinton warned of “the
very kind of threat Iraq poses now—a rogue state with
weapons of mass destruction, ready to use them or
provide them to terrorists.”
• Six days later, Osama bin Laden issued a fatwah
against America, citing its “continuing aggression
against the Iraqi people” as a principle reason for
the call to “kill all Americans.”
• In the spring of 1998 the Clinton Justice Department
indicted bin Laden. Justice cited an understanding
between bin Laden and Saddam “that on particular
projects, specifically including weapons development,
al Qaeda would work cooperatively with the government
of Iraq.”
• In January 1999, anti-terrorism czar Richard Clarke
would tell the Washington Post of the intelligence
that connects al-Qaeda to the “Iraqi nerve gas
experts.” He was one of six Clinton officials to
insist publicly on an al Qaeda-Iraqi tie to justify
the destruction of al Shifa chemical plant in the
Sudan, America's retaliation for al Qaeda's bombing of
two American embassies in Africa in August 1998.
• In June 2000, chief 9-11 operative Mohamed Atta
arrived in the United States—from Prague. He had
traveled to Prague twice in the previous month.
Although in Triple Cross Peter Lance reports on the
presence of both KSM and Atta in the Czech Republic,
he does not tell us why either went there.
• Czech officials report that Atta met with Iraqi
intelligence on a return trip to Prague in April 2001,
but the American media have done everything in their
power to discredit these highly credible reports.
• In August 2000, Ahmed Hikmat Shakir, a 37 year-old
Iraqi with embassy connections, helped arrange the
well documented and photographed 9-11 planning summit
in Kuala Lumpur. Shakir disappeared days afterwards.
• Despite their extensive reporting on this critical
summit, neither Lance nor Lawrence Wright in The
Looming Tower makes any mention of Shakir. Again, to
do so, would be to acknowledge possible Iraqi
involvement in 9-11. Two of the participants at the
summit would man planes on September 11.
• In September 2003, Tim Russert asked Vice President
Cheney if there were a connection between al Qaeda and
Iraq, specifically in regard to September 11. Cheney
responded, “We don't know” and cited some of the
evidence presented here. His honest answer created a
media firestorm. They were apoplectic over Cheney's
failure, in the words of the Boston Globe, “to dismiss
a widely discredited claim: that Saddam might have
played a role in the Sept. 11 attacks.” If the
administration seems unwilling to defend itself, this
is why.
• At the 9-11 Commission hearing in spring 2004, the
first question asked of National Security Adviser
Condoleezza Rice was whether anyone had briefed her
before 9-11 in regard to terrorists “using planes as
bombs.” She said no. In his least objective thrust,
Lance chides Rice repeatedly for this and implies that
she is lying.
• Lance makes no mention of what Clarke had told the
same commission before Rice testified. Under
questioning, Clarke admitted that the "knowledge about
al-Qaeda having thought of using aircraft as weapons"
was relatively old – "5-years, 6-years old." He asks
that intelligence analysts "be forgiven for not
thinking about it given the fact that they hadn't seen
a lot in the five or six years intervening about it."

• There are only two reasons why Clarke might not have
shared any of this information with the incoming
administration. One was incompetence. The other was to
remove TWA Flight 800, which exploded five years
before 9-11, from the conversation. The evidence
points strongly to the latter.
• Clarke had help keeping this all under wraps. Former
Deputy Attorney General Jamie Gorelick, who suppressed
the TWA 800 investigation, was likely placed on the
9-11 commission for no other reason. She had been in
a position to kill the OKC investigation as well.
• U.S. attorney Valerie Caproni, a Clinton appointee,
managed the Roma sting, prosecuted Scarpa,
orchestrated the illegal FBI take-over of the TWA 800
investigation, and then oversaw the prosecution of
James Sanders and his wife, Elizabeth, for Sanders'
investigation of the TWA 800 cover-up. In August 2003,
she was appointed to the top legal job within the
Federal Bureau of Investigation – that of general
counsel.
• And then there is Sandy Berger. If his boss on the
night of July 17, Tony Lake, remained in his own
office, the highly political Berger was with the
president. In his pilfering from the National
Archives, Berger may well have been looking for
Clinton's hand-annotated review from the summer of
1996 on Yousef's "planes as missiles" plan, a
legacy-killing document if ever made public.
• "It remains unclear," asked the Washington Post,
"why [Berger] destroyed three versions of a document,
but left two other versions intact." The answer is
not that complex: the president's handwritten notes on
a document make one version entirely more dangerous
than an identical document without those notes.
• The Bush Justice Department took no political
advantage of Berger's fix. Just the opposite.
Justice announced the punishment in the year's
greatest media vacuum—the afternoon on which Terri
Schiavo died and the day before the Pope did.
• On that same afternoon, acting on a four-week old
tip from Scarpa, the FBI uncovered an explosives cache
underneath Terry Nichols' former home in Herington,
Kansas.


On March 21, 2004, Richard Clarke publicly declared,
“There's absolutely no evidence that Iraq was
supporting al-Qaeda ever.” It was this kind of
treacherous double talk that led to 9-11 and that has
emboldened the bad guys to keep on fighting. Let the
hearings begin.

Is there still room at Guantanamo?

He's currently a bouncer in a leather-dyke bar on the wrong side of the tracks in Juarez--the city that is all on the wrong side of the tracks. No lobotomy was needed but they had to hire his twin brother to do a full day's work because each of them spends half his day wiping up the other's drool.

At night they earn extra money for diesel dykes who've smoked so much that they've had laryngectomies and have electronic vibrators shaped like dildos. On Labor Day Her Empress comes in with her consort of Janet Reno. Her Empress has had her 12 nipples pierced and so she sounds like a poultergeist shaking a chaing when she walks, when you can hear over the sound of her thunder thighs in Spandex: it sounds like a square yard of Velro being pulled apart.

Yes. Let the hearings begin. I'd love it but bear in mind that this is a nation of sound-bites and people with attention spans attenuated by Britney Spears. Also the pols, a sorry lot in toto, have no interest in crusading, only promoting themselves.

Someone said, "A statesman is a dead politician. We need more statesmen."

I do not know if people are getting bolder now, or if information is harder to keep in. But bear in mind that the entire world is jostling for the camera, and the people with the cameras fill it with things that they think people want to see. Which means utter green slimy shit.

Also in these days of victim politics, how many people think about anything other than themselves? Jesse Jackson would see the world in hell as long as he got a good suite on a cool floor. Nancy Pelosi is quite stupid. Although I do believe in domestic partnerships, the gays howling about the word "marriage" when something else will serve are distracting attention from something utterly more vital: the fact that we are engaged in the biggest threat to our nation's survival in the last 100 years.

I have shouted from the rooftops: "The freedoms that let you say what you want to say, that let you be gay, that let you be black, that let you be female, are those that you are not defending."

The only people who hear me are the military, who understand. I often go into a restaurant in El Paso, where the military eats, watching the right-hand side of the menu while I, well-off, happy, and publicly out, think nothing of spending $2000--that's not serious money. I always thank them, tell them that I really appreciate what they're doing, especially because I'm gay, and I buy every GI in the place lunch.

If it weren't for them, I'd be dead.

Now to the rest of you howling monkeys: shut the fuck up!

By Commissar Theocritus
12/18/2006, 6:26 pm

Comrade Smersh, of course I came home to polish my jackboots. You forget that I'm, well, a queer. It's in the blood.

Yeah. Right. I hate Streisand, and she's next, Comrades, for total annihilation.

Lots of people around the HillBillies wound up dead. I insisted that Vince Foster was murdered because it had Her Empress's trotter-prints all over it, but an old friend of mine, who incidentally was more than connected with the people who wrote the $tarr Report, insisted that it was suicide. Sitting in this house, five feet from where I type, he said, forcefully, "Theocritus, it was suicide. The filing cabinets are in my office while I'm writing... I've been through them." If I hadn't known him, and well, since 1972, I'd have thought otherwise.

But perhaps the HillBillies got to him too. They're insidious, these demons made up to look like people.

By the way, did you hear that the Bushes had to put the mirrors back into the White Trash House?

And the lamps & ashtrays....
Livingstone.....? Just a hack bouncer from da "Burgh....worked at "Grafitti".
He didn't kill Vince...but he knows who did. Are we sure he's still alive?
Your friend from '72 was bought, just like Larry....remember Larry? Arkansas Finance and Developement and blah blah....now has a car dealership in Little Rock.

No, the friend from 72 wasn't bought. I can guarantee that. I know him as well as anyone but his wife, and I know some things that she doesn't know. In fact, he was working to pin the Hillbillies and emailed me saying he'd been working long hours. He knew I knew his schedule; he was telegraphing something. The next day he emailed me to say, "Watson, the game's afoot."

The next day was Monica. Two days later he called me to tell me to destroy all the emails because Ickes and Carville were doing a smash-and-destroy. Remember the woman who had the floppy disk supoenaed and didn't know that erasing the files erases only the directory? He, who wrote the goddamned thing, didn't want the things that old friends say to one another to come to light. Embarrassing to him for personal reasons and to me because I wasn't out yet and was quite afraid of it.

So I erased, and duplicated trash folders on the Mac until the disk was full, erased them, and duplicated other trash folders until the disk was full, and erased them and then did it again--that qualified then for NSA secure deletion.

No. He was not bought. I hate that. That's the only thing they're not guilty of.

No. He was not bought. I hate that. That's the only thing they're not guilty of.

Ah...yep. And Chris Ruddy is full of shit plus Dr. Fahmey is yer gynie.

And Snopes can explain it all (without of course the fine details)

https://www.snopes.com/inboxer/outrage/clinton.htm