The compromise achieved Friday night to avoid government shutdown spells both good news and bad news for the progressive movement.
The bad news is that a record $40 billion will no longer be at our disposal at the Central Planning Committee, and the Democrats will not be able to blame the Republicans for the hardships that, regretfully, the working families will not endure.
Such is the hard lesson in the permanent disorder of Washington’s politics.
But there's also the good news:
- The hard-working unionized masses at the IRS will continue, without delay, to write letters kindly asking citizens to "pay their fair share."
- Uninterrupted federal funding to Planned Parenthood means the abortionist's scalpel will not lie idle as another fetus escapes its rightful fate.
- Trans fats will not go unregulated as a nation hurtles towards massive heart failure.
- Four-year-olds will not be permitted to purchase deadly Happy Meals and plunder McDonalds without government oversight.
- The motherly Betty-Crocker-type ladies at the DMV will still be able to decide how long the grateful citizens must wait for their paperwork to be processed.
- Teary-eyed children will not be turned away from museum displays, as teachers will be taking them on school trips to see crosses dipped in urine.
- The vigilant government will continue to fail at protecting the southern border, allowing a mass invasion of undocumented aliens. That will cost local governments billions in healthcare and education, overburdening the system in strict compliance with the plan devised by Cloward and Piven.
The above good news has been transmitted over the phone to yours truly by Comrade General Secretary. Feel free to add your own bits of good news that he may have missed.
The bad news-- politicians did not heed Speaker Pelosi's warning against such draconian cuts.
The even-worse news-- by the time of the 2012 election, Americans will learn that 6 million geezers did not starve.
The even-worse-than-even-worse news-- Given our news-media tools' loss of their monopolistic control over public access to prior news footage, the ubiquity of availability of video clips of Former Speaker Pelosi's courageous prediction followed by reports of the still-living geezers will be endlessly replayed on continuous loops during the months preceding the 2012 election.
What does this mean? This means we need to revitalize and modernize our embarrassing-old-news-scrubbing division by having YouTubeGoogle find pretexts for removing such embarrassing videos.
The good news: He has now been proven to be
Business will start to see stability, fiscal sanity and regulation rollback
More bad news-- The Right-Wingers can expose the AP:
Now for the Bad News: I was really, really hoping that my sob story of how my life would be forever ruined by the shutdown would grab the attention of Jake Tapper of ABC News, and that he’d come to my house and do a whole story on how I was forever scarred for life by the Republican-induced government shutdown.
I dreamed of getting a shout-out from President Obama at one of his speeches, or of him quoting one of my e-mails to him, e.g., “I’m talkin’ about folks like Commissarka Pinkie, who worried the shutdown would result in her death and then she’d miss watching the Royal Wedding. ‘Mr. President,’ she wrote in her e-mail, ‘being able to watch the Royal Wedding is the first thing I think about when I wake up in the morning, and the last thing I think about when I go to bed at night.’ Well, make no mistake, and let me be perfectly clear about this: It’s folks like Commissarka Pinkie that I think about when I first wake up in the morning, and the last thing I think about before I fall asleep at night. Why, just the other day, I was sitting on the toilet thinking about Pinkie when Malia knocked on the door and asked, 'Daddy, have you saved Pinkie’s life yet?' I’m happy to say that thanks to the historic deal we struck, the answer is yes.”
Comrades, I really, really thought this would get me a spot on the news. A cover story in People magazine. A chance to appear on Dancing with the Stars. And most importantly, lots of free stuff from people who feel sorry for me and are so touched by my courageous story, that they give me a big flat screen TV on which to watch the Royal Wedding. For fifteen glorious minutes, I could’ve been somebody. Someone extra special. But alas, who cares about me as much as I do?
For this, I will never have sex with a Republican, ever. I shall renew my pledge to seek true love only with a Democrat.
(Which reminds me, when’s the next edition of The People’s Dating Service?)
In the week leading up to the compromise, Fearless Leader was able to add $54.1 Billion to the debt. He then flipped the Rethuglicans the bone and let them deduct a paltry sum. The fact is the debt increased by $15.6 Billion.
Speaker Bo'ner is calling this a reduction, the joke is him!
I believe we have seen the worst of this anyway. The Tea Party is back to work and no longer a threat. Let's face it, these people have no other source of income besides jobs and business. I almost feel sorry for them. It's like taking candy from a baby. But hey, the People need their share so no regrets.
The Good News - energy prices will continue their
But Change has come! Now, when anyone complains about high gas prices, The Current Truth dictates that we laugh at those people. Specifically, we are to point our fingers at them, laugh, and tell them all they have to do is trade in their clunker that only gets 8 miles to the gallon for a hybrid, and problem solved--duh! Oh, and we could also suggest that maybe if they stopped having sex with Republicans, they wouldn't have so many kids requiring the need for a hybrid van.
Besides, just as he promised her during the campaign, Peggy the Moocher is indeed getting plenty of free gas from Obama. We all are!
And anyone who hasn't noticed that by now deserves to be ridiculed.
How many times does Dear Leader have to solve the same problem?
It has already been explained that if people will inflate their car tires properly and get a tune up at least every year. This "crisis" will go away.
Roy: "That's good."
"No, that's bad, because now I have to go to work and don't have an excuse to sit at home and complain.
"no that's good, because my mother-in-law's visiting."
Ummm, but just what happens when the government shuts down? Congress doesn't meet and pass more laws or something?
snookered snookered skunked!
KOOKMaksim! This needs it's own thread. It belongs in a museum. I concur. Start a thread and I'll promote it in the right-hand column.
Laika the Space DogWhat's Barack supposed to do next? Shine Uncle Sam's racissssst boots?!!!
No, of course not. He has other responsibilities.