At 7am this morning the story of Senator John Kerry appeared to be missing from the front pages of all major newspapers.

DESCRIPTION: The story can be recognized by three major attributes: (1) Sen. Kerry claims that he is smarter than the troops, (2) Sen. Kerry claims that he is smarter than their Commander in Chief, and (3) Sen. Kerry claims that not only he is smarter than the troops and the President, but that the American people are also incredibly stupid if they think Kerry would ever question their intelligence.

POSSIBLE LOCATION: The missing Kerry story is suspected to be hiding in the same cave as Osama bin Laden story, together with the record high Dow Jones story, low unemployment story, increased government revenues story, and positive changes in Iraq story. If not found within the next 24 hours, it'll disappear forever as expected (unless it contains the word "Foley").

We'll try to help the confused media with this report:

Senator John Kerry, who after losing the 2004 election was purged and declared "non-person" by Communists For Kerry (CFK), may now be at large again.

Our search for answers has led us to John Kerry's former handlers, a non-partisan 527 organization known as Communists For Kerry, a powerful pressure group that acts as a shadow Politburo behind the DNC.

Here is what they had to say:

---

J.F.Che - Great Leader

The non-person formerly known as Komrad Kerry has been purged for failing the 2004 revolution. He has been sent off for re-education and replaced with a cardboard cutout in the Senate. Nobody could tell the difference anyway. What? He escaped? ¡Ay, caramba! Put 'em all against the wall!

---

General Secretary, Fearless Leader

He must be that talked-about Karl Rove's October surprise! Once again Rove proved to be in a possession of a mind-controlling machine, inducing Kerry to say things that normal Democrats would only say after the elections are over.

---

Ivan Lenin, The Party's Brain

I can't believe he managed to escape from the Gulag by posing as his own cardboard cutout. He then went on campaigning as a real self - and nobody spotted the change. No wonder he got stuck again in an unwinnable argument, forcing us all to relive the pain and embarrassment of the failed 2004 revolution. A real cutout would never do that. Live people can't be trusted with upholding standards. Just ask my mummy!

---

Komrad Red Square-Eye, Chairman of the Artists Union

I think I know what happened here. This non-person waited two years until Halloween 2006. Then he foolishly summons the spirit of Nov. 2004's political corpse hoping this would give him a second chance. Of course this doesn't save him from the oblivion and exile, but it does ruin our hopes for the midterm elections. What amazes me is that he still imagines himself to be the brightest bulb on the Politburo's switchboard.

---

Kommander Djin, Courageous Bureaucratic Official

By letting himself be pulled into this mess, non-person "K" created a false mpression that all progressive leaders are as easy as that. You'd think that stepping on the same rake often enough would knock some sense into this traitor. That was why the Party had purged him in the first place. It just proves once again that the Party is never wrong (not that it needs to be proven).

---

Komsomolets Rob, Mascot of the Revolution

The prescribed Party line is once again: "Who is John Kerry? Never heard of him." That's what all the subservient people's press organs have been saying ever since the news broke.

---

KGB Officer Shmersh, The Party Hammer

He was probably consuming too much Heinz ketchup. If this is what Heinz does to your brain, the logical question is, are the troops eating enough of their prescribed Heinz ketchup?

---

Carlos the Jackal
More ketchup please!

---

In other news:

An unnamed DNC apparatchik (Chairman Meow) delivers Democratic talking points to all progressive media: "Why can't we all get along and keep the discussion on Mark Foley? Why can't it be all about Mark Foley or Jack Abramoff or the stupid comment made by Cheney! How about Rush? Why can't we keep talking about Rush and how we skewered his comments about the people's saint, Marty McFly?"

Troops rally in support of John Kerry's statement

Stop by at John Kerry's Memorial Kiosk

---

UPDATE:

More of it on the People's Blog:

Kerry returns from exile, denounces George Mcbushitler

Triumph of Hyprocrisy: We Are Invincible....AGAIN!!!

We the members of The Union of The All Progressive Committees of the Hooteroki and Organic-Farmer Organs call upon the Central Dicktator Comradess Hillary and the Party Chairman Dean to immediately hold Peoples' Public Trials where it will be revealed that the non-person is none other than a counter-revolutionary, double agent and -worst of all- a closet transvestitefatty-food loving CAPITALIST of Bushitler's KKKarl Rove. He has betrayed the Progressive Cause -again- just when the media story concoction and historical revision brigades had declared the phony and fixed "elections" over and won by us -the progressives. Collectivize his 5 mansions and redistribute them to our exploitated and oppressed undocumented workers -upon which at least 4 million can be accomodated!
Public Trials NOW for the counter-revolutionary agent of KKKarl Rove - puppet of Bushitler- or else all Hooteroki will Strike until no borsch beets nor buffalo wings are avialable!

::Press Conference::

Meowsevich S. Punchenko: For the last time, this non-person “K” never made any statements calling U.S Imperialist scum in Iraq “stupid, un-educated boobs” it never happened and I really don't know what all the fuss is about.

Reporter: Mr. Chairman, will this hurt Demokratic efforts to take back the House and Senate?

Meowsevich S. Punchenko: Absolutely not you peon, take your question and SHOVE IT! Next question please.

NYT Reporter: Comrade Punchenko. Do you view these latest allegations that Kerry made a statement to hurt the troops, who we all support by the way, just vicious Republican attacks?

Meowsevich S. Punchenko: Yes I do, I will go on to tell you that the so called “K” you saw is nothing more than cheap Republican animatronics. The real “K” was windsurfing that night and apologizes for the statements made by the animatronic “K”. I would also like to thank the New York Times for using the talking points and approved question list we provided in the press packet. OK, Helen, you're up.

Helen: Comrade Chairman, thank you for taking the time to talk to us…………

Meowsevich S. Punchenko: Can someone please resuscitate Helen?

Charles F. Flunkey: I got it, CLEAR! (doompf) CLEAR! (doompf).

Helen: *cough* *cough* errrhaaaaggg, eck, as I was saying, thank you for talking to us tonight. Do you think it would be better for our country if we keep the discussion solely on our victory this November and also keep the debate on Foleygate, Martygate and brag about our latest polling data?

Meowsevich S. Puncheno: Helen, anything could be better. I made two statements at The Peoples Cube about this and all of you have special clearance privileges to information there. I will also remind the MSM once more that this election is not over yet, just put this “botched” joke BS to bed now. It was ANIMATRONICS, not a real person! I have a fundraiser to attend, that's all for tonight.

(Comrade Chairman! Comrade Chairman! One more question! One more question!)

Meowsevich S. Punchenko: I said that's all. I will see you all at the fundraiser tonight. This matter will be reviewed by the proper Party organs and I am more than certain a purge will follow. Thats all dammit!

Well of course the right wing media is covering for him. Why would they cover an obvious Rovian attempt to make it sound like What's-his-name said something that he said? Besides, his mea culpa was delivered in classic "I'm sorry that you were upset after mis-reading what I said" fashion, so now it's over, dead and gone, almost like it never happened!

At any rate, how does a non-person say something that people misunderstand and get angry about anyway? Kos said What's-his-name did what he should have done so that should be good enough for everyone. We need to focus on poor starving women and children being terrorized by evil Bushitler Storm Troopers in the middle of night, three year old I.M.s from a gay RepugliKKKan congressman and just how racist George Allen is. Oh yeah, and the illegal, immoral war for oil and profit that isn't fair 'cause $oro$ isn't making the profit.

Now, it's time to ignore anything that might have happened here and refocus on all that free government money you'll get when you vote Demokrat!

Say - Comrade Carlos the Jackal - you bear a striking resemblance to our Glorious Hero and Pple's Cosmonautic Dog - Laika.
Do you come from the same bitch?

Clem Chugunkin wrote:Say - Comrade Carlos the Jackal - you bear a striking resemblance to our Glorious Hero and Pple's Cosmonautic Dog - Laika. Do you come from the same bitch?

FROM CARLOS THE JACKAL'S FILE ON COMMUNISTS FOR KERRY:
https://communistsforkerry.com/GPU/viewtopic.php?t=30

<table width="100%" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="4"><tr valign="top"><td><img src="https://communistsforkerry.com/images/A ... Jackal.gif" width="120" height="120"><td><span class="HeaderRed">Carlos the Jackal</span><br> Born in a Soviet laboratory in result of an experiment involving Laika the Space Dog getting artificially inseminated with Lenin's brain for added intelligence. Underwent fierce kosmonaut training as part of Doomsday Program.

Contact:[email protected]</table>

In case you missed the update above - more of it on the People's Blog:

Kerry returns from exile, denounces George Mcbushitler
<br>Triumph of Hyprocrisy: We Are Invincible....AGAIN!!!

Comrades!

Important Signal from Party H.Q.

Kerry to be rehabilitated to full Party privileges STOP
Executions to begin immediately STOP
Hillary to be arrested STOP
Awaiting reply STOP

Comrades, for the 1st time in my career, my loyalties are divided.
I think it may be a hoax.
It may be Rove, the capitalists may have cracked our code!
49 years of hard work down the tube (My anniversary is coming up in a couple of days...hint)
What say the CUBE?
Shall we follow these dubious orders?
Are they for real?

Laika the Space Dog wrote:It may be Rove, the capitalists may have cracked our code!

Rovian...thoroughly Rovian. DO NOT OBEY THIS DIRECTIVE!!!

Sweet merciful Stalin, it's a coup de ta! They are trying to divide and conquer us! What to do? What to do? No, ignore it. But just to be safe, have the jet standing by, a bag of ca$h and our passports. They can implicate us all to Her Excellency, our potatos are cooked if it's a coup!

Chairman Meow S. Pun wrote:Sweet merciful Stalin, it's a coup de ta! They are trying to divide and conquer us! What to do? What to do? No, ignore it. But just to be safe, have the jet standing by, a bag of ca$h and our passports. They can implicate us all to Her Excellency, our potatos are cooked if it's a coup!

Calm yourself, Comrade Meow. Cooler heads must prevail. I say we do whatever Hillary says we do (or else).

Just look at what happens to everyone who stands in the Clinton's way; this once non-person will once again become a non-person...impotent as always.

Alright! Hands up! Hillarite scum.
Come on, lets see em'. Pravda, Betty, Square, Meow, Dog, get em' up
Commissar M, put the tarkov down and slide it over to me. Alright then, good. All the rest of you useful idiots can cross the line or share a box car with these New Democrat scum bags!
Let me inform you traitors of what is going on in the reality based community, we are taking control now because you Hillary worshipping fleas are not going
to send Marshall Kerry to the gulag when he should be sitting in the Oval Office.
We have been in hiding for to long now! We are coming out of the closet and we are taking control! We will tear the whole party if necessary, but Marshall Kerry
will not be silenced! You have a choice, join us and the Real Deal or share a cell with your precious Red Queen!

Hey! how y'all DOIN'???!! Why all the LONG FACES???

You can't imagine the feeling of satisfaction I am experiencing right now, at this very moment, at y'all's expense.

Thank you, John Kerry!! hahahaha!!! And you people think I"M stupid!!! You people are the smartest people in the room...hahaha!!! What a bunch of hacks. All you had to do was keep this guy purged for 1 more week but NOOOOOOooo. YOU had to let him escape from the gulag and hit the campaign trail.

Now if you'll excuse me, I'm off to gloat with Rove...hahaha! And you STILL think I'M stupid??!!!!

Oh Stalin, save us! sabotuers! sabotuers!!! Archie, you told me you were in it for the money? You said you were a useful idiot! LIES! ALL LIES! Your not going to get away with this! Her Excellency will send The Guild and the ACLU! Kerry will never rise again! Progress shall prevail! PROGRESS SHALL PREVAIL!!!!!

Kerry was right, and this is a serious post. Yes, Kerry is a loathsome person -- but for once, he does not deserve the criticism.

Everyone from the Wall St Journal to my comrades here are making a serious logical fallacy by attacking Kerry on this point -- specifically, they are "affirming the consequent".

Kerry didn't say that soldiers are uneducated; he said that uneducated people are more likely to become soldiers -- and there's a big difference.

By way of example, say that there are 99 educated people and one uneducated person in the USA. And also say that the one uneducated person decides that he's better off enlisting in the military than pursuing a career in theoretical physics. Now, say that our fictitious army has 20 soldiers. Using the above numbers, it will be comprised of 95% educated people.

Put another way: A => B does not imply that B =>A. Less-educated people joining the army does not imply that the army is full of uneducated people.

And when I see otherwise sensible people pouncing on Kerry for no good reason, I think it ruins the credibility of their otherwise good arguments.

Like I said, Kerry is a vile freak -- but there are plenty of other things that he can be correctly accused of. (Starting with his asinine retractions.)

As you were, Comrades.

Chairman Meow S. Pun wrote:Sweet merciful Stalin, it's a coup de ta! They are trying to divide and conquer us! What to do? What to do? No, ignore it. But just to be safe, have the jet standing by, a bag of ca$h

easy moiw moiw kitty!, tsar friday is dead!

komrade K is with us inder undervasser boat. shsss. Komrade K spends so much time in the head, i think it is because of the mirror there, made of good soviet steel.

he says that his comments have been spinning thru his brain 57 different ways, and he dosent relish it.

and he keeps calling out for momma T. (is that the dead nun?)

and is "bula bula" some kind of code?

we are pinging constanly for the Kenndy killbox (the ever so silighty submered oldsmoble) to obtain instruction for the jr. comrade senator from massassholeis

piny

ps ask miow miow kitty to break out some of the "frozen food"

Ok, thanks for the update, Comrade Ping.

Oh, Archie! Joo got some 'splainin' to do!!

Private Pravda wrote:

Chairman Meow S. Pun wrote:Sweet merciful Stalin, it's a coup de ta! They are trying to divide and conquer us! What to do? What to do? No, ignore it. But just to be safe, have the jet standing by, a bag of ca$h and our passports. They can implicate us all to Her Excellency, our potatos are cooked if it's a coup!

Calm yourself, Comrade Meow. Cooler heads must prevail. I say we do whatever Hillary says we do (or else).

Just look at what happens to everyone who stands in the Clinton's way; this once non-person will once again become a non-person...impotent as always.

OK, I'm calm, shaking and soiling myself, but calm. We will wait for Her Excellency to speak, but Archie, your gone buddy boy once this is all resolved, you and Fancy Pants are going to share the same choping block. Comrade Ping, why break out the "frozen food", your not going to feed peoples enemy "K" are you? I should hope not, all that botox has rendered his jaw useless, he would have to suck his food with a straw (not that there is anything wrong with that, this is 2006 and a brave new world)

Oh, and Lenora. Are you serious serious as in character off serious, or serious as in equality for appliances damn that Rove and his twisted mind control machines? Because I'm a bit confused.

Wait comrades!! A test!! Ha ha! This has been a test to flush out the dastardly agents of Bushitler!! I knew Glourious Uber Comrade HRC is not a traitor!!

Yes executions will commence indeed.....

O'Brien

WAR IS PEACE
FREEDOM IS SLAVERY
IGNORANCE IS STRENGTH

Ah, Comrade Limpold. Perhaps I should give you the ammunition first? One round at a time. One does not abandon Her Excellency so lightly. After she assumes her rightful place as Glorious Leader, I expect that she will send our dear Senator <PURGED> on a "fact finding mission". Her Excellency has a vast network of operatives within the media, The Party, among the PACs/527s and even within the pundit community and challengers and dissidents are not taken lightly. Even OUTSIDE of the apparatus of The Party and the loyal media, her ability to "take out" enemies and potential challengers is remarkable. The Clintons have survived things that would have destroyed normal people many times over while the careers and personal lives of their detractors and challengers have been utterly wrecked. Tread lightly!

Reading the websites of one's class enemy can sometimes be useful (Of course it should be limited to the most trusty elite who will then provide the masses with a politically correct digest and analysis).

The class enemy must have been thinking the same when they posted this story on Free Republic:
https://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-chat/1730610/posts

A poster named "beyond the sea" offers a curious comment:

I wonder: How many Democrats in Congress right about now would want to cut off ears, cut off a head, tape wires from portable telephones to his genitals, and cut off limbs of John Jacques Strap Effin Shove It Maria Teresa Thierstein Simoes Ferreira Kerry?

My only question is, how could he possibly know what we discussed last night in exact same words? Responsible organs must look into a possible leak at the Politburo.

As the People's Red Head of Legal Affairs, I'm required to notify all members of the Party of the next blessed victim to be sent to the Gulagosphere for re-education...Sir Tim Berners-Lee. See his blasphemous claims at:
https://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/technology/6108578.stm

Har har har! This stupid capitalist tool of the dying English monarchy thinks he invented the internet. Of course everyone knows it was the People's I.T. Guy, Al Gore, who invented the internet...and anyone who thinks differently should be forced to beat him or helself with his/her own shovel during re-education.

A leak, this is of great concern. Where is SMERSH when you need him? Comrade Commissar, I wouldn't worry about Mr. Limpold, he will make a fine patsy for the purge, and he has a skeleton in his closet you see, a surgically altered one. Isn't that right Archie? Why don't you come clean and tell us why you are siding with the non-person. I'm sure the collective WOULD love to hear your connection with Fancy Pants.

Death to all spies!

Alright, I give up! I will go quietly and will confess all crimes. Just please,
for the love of science, do not purge Nanners. She is a good womyn!

Chairman Meow S. Pun wrote:
Oh, and Lenora. Are you serious serious as in character off serious, or serious as in equality for appliances damn that Rove and his twisted mind control machines? Because I'm a bit confused.

Chairman Meow:

[Character OFF]

I don't see how the evidence (Kerry's statement that uneducated people are more likely to join the military) supports the widespread conclusion (he says soldiers are dumb). Also, note that I am neither supporting nor denying the "fact" of his assertion; I am only saying that the rules of logic do not, again, lead from evidence to conclusion.

Politics is repellent for many reasons, including the tendency to demonize those with whom you disagree -- instead of countering their points. Democrats are excellent at whipping up the populace with this technique; e.g., opponents of the minimum wage hate the "working class", opponents of affirmative action are "racist", etc., etc., etc. Instead of discussing an idea on its merits (which, given their ridiculous causes, is nearly impossible), they attack the person who said it. And that is a big reason (among many, many others) why I have never, and will never, support the Democratic Party.

And, so, with this new Kerry nonsense, I see the same thing being done by a whole lot of people who ought to know better. Kerry made a claim that may or may not be true. (FWIW, it's not implausible that there's a predictive element, however weak, between formal education and the likelihood of joining the military.) But he is being attacked for something he did not say. As a tactic, it might be effective; i.e., before Election Day, it might be a method of influencing voters. But if you're not in the business of swaying voters (and what sort of voter will be swayed by this anyway?) then it just smacks of, "Here's another point for our team."

Given Kerry's miserable record on just about everything, and his repugnant Vietnam schtick, it seems counterproductive to go after him for something he really did not say or do. In the long run, it damages the credibility of sensible people when they use tactics like this.

[Character ON]

Wonk.
H.

Thank's for clearing that up for me Lenora.

Executive Order No. 2006-1

<purged> will be executed January 21, 2009 at 1200 hrs underneath the platform on the Capitol steps.
<purged> will be executed with a lethal injection of Clostridium botulinum resulting in death by botulism.
Archie Bane Limpold is to report to the nearest re-education center immediately or the Ivy League school of his choice.
Private Pravda is breveted to Field Marshal Pravda for meritorious bravery and unwavering faithfulness during a time of extreme crisis.

Sweet merciful Stalin, it's a coup de ta! They are trying to divide and conquer us! What to do? What to do? No, ignore it. But just to be safe, have the jet standing by, a bag of ca$h and our passports. They can implicate us all to Her Excellency, our potatos are cooked if it's a coup!

Chairman Meow, change your panties.

Signed,
HRC

Lenora - now how would it make you feel if someone said that if a girl studies well she'll succeed and find herself a husband, but if she does drugs and skips classes she'll end up in the United Independent Party? Is that what you deserve for constantly risking mental and nervous breakdown while organizing local minority groups in a fight to smash the fascist state?

Of course a statement like that would make you feel unloved. Unappreciated. Stupid. It would make you want to personally rape, cut off ears, cut off heads, tape wires from portable telephones to human genitals and turn up the power, cut off limbs, blow up bodies, randomly shot at civilians, raze villages in fashion reminiscent of Genghis Khan, shoot cattle and dogs for fun, poison food stocks, and generally ravage the countryside.

Right?

That's how the troops and the Republikkkans feel right now.

<off character>

The point in this story is not as much what he now calls a "botched joke" (which would be suicidal for any politician) but what happened later around it - his ridiculous counter-attack at a special press conference, and the sleazy media reaction to it.

</off character>

Panties fresh and clean, pink too!

Tight also?

H.

Of course, how else would I accentuate my weak, spineless, beady eyed and paranoid disposition?

--Meowsevich

Red Square wrote:Lenora - now how would it make you feel if someone said that if a girl studies well she'll succeed and find herself a husband, but if she does drugs and skips classes she'll end up in the United Independent Party?

I'd answer, "It worked for me, muthafucka!"

<off character>

The point in this story is not as much what he now calls a "botched joke" (which would be suicidal for any politician) but what happened later around it - his ridiculous counter-attack at a special press conference, and the sleazy media reaction to it.

</off character>

<off character>

Here's another analogy to make my point. Suppose Kerry said, "If you walk off a roof, you're going to fall and die." Should that be interpreted to mean "most people who die just walked of roofs"? That's why I'm disappointed that everyone in the entire otherwise-sensible world (including people who are much smarter than me) violated a rule of simple logic.

Anyway, your point is well-taken and I agree that he performed like an idiot afterwards.

Oh, lighten up!
Both of you.
Either way November 7th will be a victory for the Cube and the People!
Remember comrades, there is no such thing as "defeat"!

I'm not trying to stray off topic here, but does anyone else feel that BSNBC is getting desperate for some good news after the Kerry debacle? I mean honestly, they are running NYT Polling data now to suggest Dems have the advantage.

Poll numbers are giving me 04 deja vu.

What are we voting for this year? President? Well, Kerry's got my vote. In fact, I'm voting the entire party line this year.
<br>The importance of voting cannot be overstated.

Oh, that Kathy, she is just so brilliant. Reading her words have so much truth and understanding for the working class that it moves me. Oh no, I was moved and have soiled my panties again. Her Excellency will be disappointed. But just read this beautiful line by Kathy...

if i throw it up and eat it again, that makes me a closed ecosystem!

So profound. We could solve war, hunger, tax cuts and inequality with this one solitary line of poetic beauty.

Chairman Meow S. Pun wrote:Poll numbers are giving me 04 deja vu.

Are the poll numbers as good for us as they were in '04? You must agree, Chairman, that even though we didn't win then, the sweet anticipation of victory we all experienced in the weeks preceding the election, the exaltation of news anchors, and the tears of joy and happiness were well worth it.

In other words, illusion is always sweeter than reality anyway. Who knows how it might turn out if Kerry had won? Could be a big disappointment, just like he is today.

Do you remember the first time you drank Kool-Aid? The rush, the lights, the visions, the dancing Lenin? Compare it to not drinking Kool-Aid. Nothing. But the illusion gave you that unforgettable koolest half hour in your life. Was it worth it?

Reality be damned. We don't have to win! We can imagine. Tuning in to CNN or MSNBC may help. Imagine. There's no capitalism. And no Bushitler too.

To see the revolution and die! Experience the strongest thrill possible. We're dealing with the realm of emotions. It's all very personal, very subjective. If you can feel it, what difference does it make whether it's real or it's just a Kool-Aid-induced hallucination?

Comrades! Here's a compromise - we can end our political squabbles and the depressing polarization in our society. We can have a sweet deal with the Republikkkans. We'll stop fighting for progress - and in return they'll agree to place all of us in some virtual "Strawberry Fiels" like in the Matrix movie with an unlimited supply of intravenous Kool-Aid so we don't even have ever to interrupt our dream of progress and wake up to drink it.

We can then live in a perfect dream world where everybody is equal and can marry each other including pets, kitchen appliances, and baked goods. This alternate reality will have elections where only one party will nominate candidates who will always win. Nobody will work but somehow we'll all have all the stuff to each according to his needs. Instant gratification will be the law of the land. There'll be no threat of global warming because all industrial production will stop along with oil drilling and animal farming. Yet somehow there will always be food, clothes, iPods, disco lights, video games, hot tubs, condoms, MTV, and all sorts of free prescription pharmaceuticals. You must agree, comrades, this will never happen in the real cold, selfish world of delayed gratification. So which world would you rather live in? Honestly?

Am I having a nervous breakdown over the elections before they even happened? Somebody hold me. I mean hold me, not hug me, idiot! Tie me up! Stick a stapler between my teeth before I bit off my tongue! Hold my head down so the drool doesn't clog my windpipe. Now gimme some Kool-Aid.

Hillary wrote:Executive Order No. 2006-1

<purged> will be executed January 21, 2009 at 1200 hrs underneath the platform on the Capitol steps.
<purged> will be executed with a lethal injection of Clostridium botulinum resulting in death by botulism.
Archie Bane Limpold is to report to the nearest re-education center immediately or the Ivy League school of his choice.
Private Pravda is breveted to Field Marshal Pravda for meritorious bravery and unwavering faithfulness during a time of extreme crisis.

Sweet merciful Stalin, it's a coup de ta! They are trying to divide and conquer us! What to do? What to do? No, ignore it. But just to be safe, have the jet standing by, a bag of ca$h and our passports. They can implicate us all to Her Excellency, our potatos are cooked if it's a coup!

Chairman Meow, change your panties.

Signed,
HRC

Thank you, Your Excellency, thank you!
I am but your humble servant and Party Tool...err tool of the Party...you know what I mean!

Yes! The Marxtrix (which in itself is brilliant, Marx-trix). A whole dream world built just for us! But maybe we are already living in the Marxtrix as my once great Ethics Professor once stated, maybe this world is not the real world, but instead a a mock up of the once bloated capitalist society as we remember it before it fell all apart and gave way to a socialist utopia where myn and appliance live in harmony! Perhaps, if we wake up from this "simulated dream world" of capitalist expolitation, we will be in the real world where our socialist dreams have come to realization! But no! The KKKarl/Bushitler/Creepy old guy tri-fecta of exploitation have us all prisoner here in the Marxtrix! Where we live our mundane lives day after day working for a living (or studying! remember what happens if you don't study!). Yes, the puzzle pieces come together, it all makes sense now. If we were in the "real world" we wouldn't be faced with defeat during elections, don't you see, there is a glitch in the Marxtrix! We are reliving 04' over and over and over again! We must break free comrades! Take the pills! Wake up from this prison of exploitation!

Congratulations on your promotion, I mean, position of more-equal ness Bvt. Field Marshal Pravda. Maybe someday with time you will become as equal as myself and take over all the responsibilities that I hold, whatever they are....

More of non-person's shenanigans

THE ULTIMATE JOHN KERRY AD

https://johnkerryads.websiteanimal.com/

This is now on YouTube. All hail Communists For Kerry!
After watching this video you may wait for a kind permission to sit down.

<object width="425" height="350">
<param name="movie" value=">
<embed src="" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" width="425" height="350">
</embed>
</object>

Isn't it nice! NBC says "Enough already! Too much Kerry" on November 2, 2006. The American people are sick and tired of listening about how Kerry forgot the pronoun "us" and botched his otherwise subtle and hilarious Bush joke. Instead, the American people want more Foley and Macaca! They just can't get enough of Foley and Macaca. Foley and Macaca please!

https://www.nbc11.com/politics/10227758/detail.html

The banner has several apparently deliberate misspellings.

Aides said Kerry mistakenly dropped the word "us" from his prepared text and meant to say, "You end up getting us stuck in a war in Iraq," referring to President George W. Bush.

As one Democratic pundit sees it, Americans are "about to throw the shoe through the television" if they hear any more about the Kerry story.

Strategist James Carville said people are tired of hearing about Kerry versus Bush. He told NBC News the 2004 election was already run.

That's exactly the fair, non-partizan reporting that may help us stop this unfortunate, unbearable, crippling polarization!

Oh yes! I am sick and tired! Foley, Macaca, poll numbers, Oreo cookies, Gay Reverend, Foley, Envangelical depressed turnout, Foley, Marty Mcfly, Repug campaign Ad's, torture, Foley, poll numbers, Tidal Wave, Foley. Please, use these topics, repuglicans never get sick of hearing about these things of important national interest. Let's just forget all this Kerry hubub and get back to putting the Repukes down. OK? I'm not asking much.

I agree, we need to focus more on what the republikans did wrong and less about our, as they call it, "flaws".

Premier Betty wrote:I agree, we need to focus more on what the republikans did wrong and less about our, as they call it, "flaws".

Change "less about our, as they call it, 'flaws'", to "more about our superior morality and intellect".

Remember! "More" is "More"...and so is "Moore"...you know what I mean, Comrades!!

Speaking of more being less Red Square wrote "Tape wires from portable telephones to human genitals and turn up the power", is this some twisted joke because I thought this was training at Karl Marx treatment center this is some weak repuglicking camp Med federal prison torture because to turn the power up all you have to do is put 50 cent in the pay phone and dial a number right ??No respectable repuglickin would use a pay phone and the troops are to dumb to know how to use one....

Red Square wrote:That's exactly the fair, non-partizan reporting that may help us stop this unfortunate, unbearable, crippling polarization!