Comrades, Space Dog Laika, I must apologize for not having commenting earlier on the wonderful May Day Parade, and the inspiring speech delivered by the Hero Space Dog, Laika. I can not believe that it took me this long to sober up get the official Party photo back and to write up a summary. As you can see below, the Department of Current Truth had to clear this photo for initial release due to a certain comrade who shall we say, was never there. This photo is not cleared yet for release to non-party members.
it was a wonderful day for a parade, the weather was great, the moonbat sheep were in top form, and the vodka Party spirit was flowing freely. The Chairman was as usual, in top form having bested me yet again in collecting contributions that had dropped on the ground or fell out of comrades wallets who were resting. As you can see. most of the more equal than others were in attendance, and there were several others who were passed out or otherwise indisposed in the break room behind us including a certain Comrade Cat who amused the rest of us both before and after he passed out on the Volga pepper cat nip.
We were treated to a parade of the latest Armed Forces for Peace weaponry including the latest Poodle Gun that will help keep the Party's march toward world socialism on track. The usual assortment of moonbats, mimes for peace and impeachment, Boobs for Peace, Code Pink, DNC marching band, and other useful idiots were represented.
As for me, one of my treasured memories came when I took a break from the wall only to find Commissarka Pinkie and Comrade Kalishnakov arguing about whether a shovel or AK47 digs a neater ditch. Then after a few toasts, they were telling jokes and laughing about some appropriations they had taken that had not been authorized. Commissar Theocritus and the Premier were debating finer points in regard to the latest video games and dialectical materialism. It started to get a bit heated, but Comrade Red Square quickly settled the issue in his usual manner. And who couldn't help but be amused when the Chairman secretly switched the fluids in Comrade Betinov's jar with Georgian Vodka to as he said "see just how progressive Comrade Brain in the Jar can be!" Quite progressive as it turns out!
Comrades, I have gone on too long, but I do hope you enjoy the official photo,
"Obama, for the grand prize, can you name all 60 States!"
"Lets see, there's Oregon, there's New York, there's Cuba, there's ah, Washington DC, there's France, um, there's Mexico, um... Oh yeah there's Chicago... um..."
The Glorious Red Army is doing its part to prepare for the coming Glorious World of Next Tuesday, which should be arriving in November with the coronation of the beloved Empress.
In an effort to minimize the jarring transition that some observers anticipate as the new Soviet regime is installed in the Deep South during the coming months, the Glorious Red Army Choir has conscripted enlisted the aid of a degenerate group of "musicians" known as the "Leningrad Cowboys" to produce the following video.
Notice the subtle shift during the course of the performance, from the grating screech of decadent Western "Rock and Roll" we gradually, oh so gradually, lead the listener to the soothing sounds of the toiling Volga Boatmen, pulling together for the Common Good.™ This will lead the listener from darkness into light, from beer into vodka, and from freedom into slavery wage slavery into the perfection that is pure Socialism.
Comrades! It is I Ted State reporting to you from the Glorious People's Repbulik of Taxachusetts. I have often enjoyed your blog with my monthly ration of Vodka and I wish to become a part in something greater than myself, the socialist utopia that Lenin and Marx have promised the world. In my first contribution to this glorious collective, I your humble working party member, respectfully submit this enlightened summer reading selection for you from a fellow New England author, and fellow socialist Stephen King, about our Glorious comrade Kerry who was the victim of the evil George Bush imperialist Diebold voting machines in 2004. Like our all knowing leader, Deval Patrick the Cadillac of Governors says, "Together We Can." I guess that means if we don't read together we get sent to Iraq. Much more on Deval in a later post.....
Comrades! It is I Ted State reporting to you from the Glorious People's Repbulik of Taxachusetts. I have often enjoyed your blog with my monthly ration of Vodka and I wish to become a part in something greater than myself, the socialist utopia that Lenin and Marx have promised the world. In my first contribution to this glorious collective, I your humble working party member, respectfully submit this enlightened summer reading selection for you from a fellow New England author, and fellow socialist Stephen King, about our Glorious comrade Kerry who was the victim of the evil George Bush imperialist Diebold voting machines in 2004. Like our all knowing leader, Deval Patrick the Cadillac of Governors says, "Together We Can." I guess that means if we don't read together we get sent to Iraq. Much more on Deval in a later post.....
Comrades, I know you have seen some of the ups and downs of getting your quota of contributions and appropriations that are so necesseary for us to achieve the final goal of the World of Next Tuesday. But have you ever considered the horrid scenes that the Chairman has witnessed? Sadly, due no doubt to the depression and starvation that has resulted from the war mongering Bush regime, there has been an upsurge in resistance to our efforts. I would like to show you just one recent scene the Chairman came across on one of his missions. It's not for the weak of heart,
"Them rats! Them dirty, cold-blooded, sore-headed, stinkin' Proles! Them ThoughtCrime™ Thinking, atrocity-committin' skunks ..."
Lately I have witnessed a disturbing trend on what I once thought of so fondly as The People's Cube.
Every time I log on, I don't know if I'm on The Dog's Cube or The Cat's Cube. An interspecial feud--or vendetta, if you will--is being waged between Dog and Cat on at least three different threads. It's like a virus, and it's spreading.
Moreover, your constant squabbling over these past few months threatens to split and ultimately fracture The Party. I need not tell you of the many ways our enemies will exploit that in the months to come.
Already they're nitpicking over things like who Mousey-Tongue associated with in the National Guard over thirty years ago. Or whether Pupovich thought he could pander to people like me, showing his softer, more gentle, sensitive and--dare I say--feminine side by wearing pink for his interview with that mendacious popinjay O'Reilly. It really makes me lugubrious, when you two pinheads (Pup and Mousey, not O'Reilly even though he's the biggest pinhead of all) should be concentrating on The Real Issues.
My sources (the same ones who told all those Green candidates that Bush would nuke Iran before the end of April--which he did, but the shameful corporate media refuses to cover it because they think they'll sell more papers and get higher ratings beating that Miley Cyrus photophlap into the ground). . . what was I saying? Oh yes--my very reliable sources inform me that The Party's enemies are paying Big Fur Hat to muddy the waters, stir the pot, so to speak, by creating Big Hat Envy among Party members to distract them from what Pupovich and Mousey-Tongue are doing to The Party. In fact, it's even possible that Big Fur Hat is an operative for the hatemonger Rush Limbaugh.
Either way, his chaos tactics are working. Everyone is now whining and wringing their hands over the size of everything from hats to signature blocks.
This must stop!
Obviously, the first step toward doing that is to Raise Awareness of this crisis. Copy and paste this post at all Progressive sites. Stand on the street corner holding up signs and chanting slogans. Wear your awareness ribbon! Write to your representative, demanding that they pass an immediate resolution against the Pupovich/Mousey-Tongue Vendetta. And above all, never underestimate the power of hand puppets.
The next step is to contain the unrest you two critters have caused. Therefore, you will consider this thread a cage for your on-going death match.
THE KINKS recorded this song about Jamaican black theology in 1978. Ray Davies obviously learned firsthand that racism calls no color home. This is a rare protest against one flavor of black racism. As a 16 year old traveling alone in Jamaica in 1972 I met more than a few prophets. Some crossed the blurry line towards the messiah side themselves. It was as if every third man was possessed with the need to lead the world to the Promised Land, each by a different route. Haile Saliase was one messiah candidate even though he totally rejected the nomination.
In the 1980s I lived eight years in the Dominican Republic. The entire time I never ran into anyone even remotely inclined towards this way of thinking. The Spanish Catholic and the English Protestant culture spawned two completely distinct minds. But I digress.
Here's our chance to make a 25 seconds political TV ad to be selected for broadcast not by network apparatchiks, but by people who will see it on the Internet (the apparatchiks still can veto it if it doesn't meet the FCC standards). Read this exchange, then post your ideas. You can use both your sense of humor and your sense of serious.
...
The Department of Political Engineering (DOPE) has announced a new program to build the new progressive comrade while at the same time enabling the Party to make former non-persons whole again using cutting-edge medical technology that's regrowing human tissue, in some cases, on the backs of volunteer mice.
The new technology uses volunteer, politically reliable voter's own stem cells to grow skin, muscles, tendons and even bone. The Party Commissar General Surgeon described it as being similar to a salamander regenerating a lost tail -researchers want to take amphibian technology and use the same concept for both live voters and necro proxy voters.
"Sadly, the technology is still in it's early stages, and it is not expect to be ready in time for this coming elections in November" according to an anonymous researcher who has not been cleared to comment.
There has been speculation that this technology has already been used with devastating results, but the Department of Political Engineering could neither confirm nor deny this.
I have decided to mandate that everyone undergo intensive sensitivity training due to the white patriarchal corporate-controlled media’s decision to bombard us on a daily basis with the so-called "racist" comments – which are really out-of-context comments – made by the honorable Reverend Jeremiah Wright.
Below is a video series made by America’s premier Tolerance Nazi, the Godmother of White Guilt herself, Ms. Jane Elliot, who will help us all feel the plight of those we oppress on a never-ending non-stop cycle. This video will help you walk in the shoes of those you oppress so that your guilt will drown out whatever feelings of rage you may have developed after hearing the so-called "offensive" comments made by the honorable Reverend Jeremiah Wright.
Each video clip is roughly nine minutes or so long. After the clip finishes, the corresponding part will appear in the menu for your collective enjoyment. There are 12 clips in this series and all are worth viewing to get a good glimpse of what Party-mandated sensitivity training looks and feels like.
Comrades in the USSA! As you approach the glorious November revolution, it may be time to consider the variety of groupthinks, summits, talk-fests and committees to be formed by your new leader, to give The People the illusion of improvement an explosion of feelgood progressivism!
If you need ideas, look no further than down under where Chairman Kevin launched his 47th and most public forum yet; The 2020 Summit.
This is the perfect model of the progressive groupthink, with a celebration of The Best And Brightest ™ journalists, script writers, comedians, potty-mouthed youth radio announcers, actors, prostitutes, green groups and artists gathered in glorious taxpayer-funded orgy of ideas, ideas and ideas. More money for the arts? Check. Want to talk about doing something about Global Warming? Check. Want to "end disadvantage"? Check. Want to "be able to dream"? Check. Want to get the ideas reduced to vapid t-shirt cliches? Check. Hope? Change? Check.
Want to be a part of bringing up all the same re-hashed crap ideas pre-determined by Chairman Kev and The Party fresh, new, revolutionary ideas to draw attention to yourself be a pioneer of Hope and Change? Check.
And all packaged in a glossy conference where your Chairman Prime Minister can chase celebrity autographs. Or in your case, where BHO can be surrounded by swooning, fainting womyn. As a hand-selected summiteer, you will be guaranteed to emerge to smiling, adoring, cheering masses.
Get the jump for the post-November revolution, get on the list of your Best And Brightest ™ now, put your ideas together, bring your whiteboard, a marker, (autograph book), hope and a desire for change.
I have been troubled these past few months, and tonight have came to the only conclusion possible. It is something I must do, not for me, but For the Party, For the Common Good™, and For the Children™.
Regretfully, I have felt that there has been a slackening in the values that the Party holds so dearly. Sure, there has been a lot of lip service to the values and needs of the Party, but it seems there has been a slackening in the discipline and committment needed if we wish to achieve the Glorious World of Next Tuesday. Perhaps this is due to the recent uncertainty that has creeped in due to the rise of Obamaism. I remember a time not that long ago when the party was solidly behind the Empress and no dissent was even imagined. True, there are some who would say this is healthy for the Party, and perhaps it is, but it has perhaps caused some distraction. It is one thing I hope to correct. In addition, we have seen a most welcome increase in the number and diversity of comrades here at the Cube. But they have yet to see the Party at it's best as I have been fortunate to have seen from a close, too close view 3 times.
So Comrades, Commissars, esteemed members of the Poliburo, it is my sincere hope that you will see my love for the Party, my devotion to the cause of World Socialism, and dedication to the World of Next Tuesday as I throw myself upon my own shovel for the Common Good™.
I do have but one wish, and hope. If it is not too much to ask, I would request that the Chairman act as my defense council till I am proved guilty.
I DENOUNCE COMMISSAR PUPOVICH!
Among the charges:
I have engaged at times in promoting competition, both between species and between teams, having boasted openly about my beloved National Champion LSU Tigers.
I have questioned the usefulness of continued promotion of Global Change theory.
I have questioned the Party's support of Islamic terrorism.
I have implicated other comrades in ThoughtCrime™ with the aim of moving up in the Party. (Hmmm, I suppose that could be an argument in my defense.)
I have failed to turn in 100% of the contributions and appropriations I have collected and set aside some for my own good. (Perhaps that will also be a good defense?)
I have on a few occassions, either failed to promptly report ThoughtCrime™ or Wrecking committed by other comrades, or have been too lenient at times in correcting said behavior.
Again comrades, I know this is a rather shocking thing for a Commissar to do, but I do this out of my love of the Party, and the sure and certain hope in the Peoples Justice™.
I throw myself on my shovel... and pray that the Chairman, or perhaps Laika will come to my legal defense as required by Party regulations.
A revolution without firing squads is meaningless.
V. Lenin
I've watched in amusement for years as the Democratic Party operates like drunken monkeys squirrels in their quest for supreme power. Why on earth they chose this path of creeping socialism, instead of all out revolution is beyond me. Nothing illustrates the folly of this strategy more than the current primary problems.
Hillary’s victory in the Pennsylvania has guaranteed many more weeks of strife, embarrassment, and bloodletting.
There's a view among Democrats and the MSM that the reason for the party's failure to pick a candidate is that we have two most extraordinary candidates: talented, attractive, and in their gender and race, excitingly new.
Which is exactly what they are suppose to think. However because we must work within a broken free election model, certain facts have been revealed, putting at risk our plans for The Progressive World of Next Tuesday.
Democract presidential hopeful Barack Obama has definitely taken the world by storm; he has rallied Oprah, George Clooney, Halle Berry, Will Smith, and a large laundry list of others to his cause. However, now Obama's list of supporters not only transcends this world, but the netherworld as well.
According to the article by the LA Times deceased actor Roy Scheider contributed $50 to Obama's campaign despite two months of advanced necrosis. Scheider was also unavailable for comment.
While Scheider's contribution was mostly due to"clerical error," several members of another demographic have already been inspired to speak out in favor of Obama. Yesterday at City Hallin Los Angeles, several members of the zombie community came out to voice their support for Barack Obama.
"If Scheider can voice his opinion despite his deceased status, then so canwe!" Chanted dead actor Denholm Elliot, who died of an AIDS-related illness in 1992.
Zombie voters are now sprouting everywhere in the nation, from graveyards, hospitals and raves. Zombified Gregory Peck was speaking out against the Iraq War in Los Angeles, George Lucas was eaten by Sir Alec Guinness outside Skywalker Ranch (thank God!),and Henry Fonda has formed a new zombie group. Here is their new poster.
Democratic-supporting celebrities are already taking advantage of this new emerging demographic. Controversial actress Jane Fonda met with seveal zombified members of the former Weather Underground but was interupted when members of the Zombie Vietnam Veterans for McCain burst in and ate Jane Fonda. One veterans described it as "poetic justice."
Ball of fire actress Lindsay Lohan was spotted staggering with a group of zombies outside the White House the other day sparking media hysteria as to the cause of her death. Upon further examination, it was discovered that she was just drunk.
Barack Obama was surprised at this new demographic, but is seemingly embracing it.
"They're not much different than my supporters on college campus; only difference is they're zombies while the college kids are just drunk."
"Liberal" bloggers achieved a swift scientific consensus last night as they familiarized themselves with the People's Cube on this thread. That the consensus was scientific is evident from someone's dropping a scientific word "dissertation," and the tendency to categorize everything in the world, including humor, into "liberal" and "conservative." As we know, the world consists of two types: the ones who split the world into two types, and the ones who don't. At least now we know who's doing it.
...
“...civilization will end within 15 or 30 years unless immediate action is taken against problems facing mankind,” biologist George Wald, Harvard University, April 19, 1970.
----------
By 1995, “...somewhere between 75 and 85 percent of all the species of living animals will be extinct.” Sen. Gaylord Nelson, quoting Dr. S. Dillon Ripley, Look magazine, April 1970.
----------
Because of increased dust, cloud cover and water vapor “...the planet will cool, the water vapor will fall and freeze, and a new Ice Age will be born,” Newsweek magazine, January 26, 1970.
----------
The world will be “...eleven degrees colder in the year 2000. This is about twice what it would take to put us into an ice age,” Kenneth Watt, speaking at Swarthmore University, April 19, 1970.
----------
“We are in an environmental crisis which threatens the survival of this nation, and of the world as a suitable place of human habitation,” biologist Barry Commoner, University of Washington, writing in the journal Environment, April 1970.
----------
“Man must stop pollution and conserve his resources, not merely to enhance existence but to save the race from the intolerable deteriorations and possible extinction,” The New York Times editorial, April 20, 1970.
----------
“By 1985, air pollution will have reduced the amount of sunlight reaching earth by one half...” Life magazine, January 1970.
----------
“Population will inevitably and completely outstrip whatever small increases in food supplies we make,” Paul Ehrlich, interview in Mademoiselle magazine, April 1970.
----------
“...air pollution...is certainly going to take hundreds of thousands of lives in the next few years alone,” Paul Ehrlich, interview in Mademoiselle magazine, April 1970.
----------
Ehrlich also predicted that in 1973, 200,000 Americans would die from air pollution, and that by 1980 the life expectancy of Americans would be 42 years.
----------
“It is already too late to avoid mass starvation,” Earth Day organizer Denis Hayes, The Living Wilderness, Spring 1970.
----------
“By the year 2000...the entire world, with the exception of Western Europe, North America and Australia, will be in famine,” Peter Gunter, North Texas State University, The Living Wilderness, Spring 1970.
----------
“The battle to feed humanity is over. In the 1970s, the world will undergo famines. Hundreds of millions of people are going to starve to death in spite of any crash programs embarked upon now. Population control is the only answer.”
Paul Ehrlich, Stanford University biologist, ‘The Population Bomb’ (1968)
----------
"It is already too late to avoid mass starvation."
Denis Hayes, chief organizer of the first Earth Day, The Living Wilderness Magazine, Spring 1970
----------
"[A]ir pollution... is certainly going to take hundreds of thousands of lives in the next few years alone."
Paul Ehrlich, Mademoiselle Magazine, April 1970
----------
"Demographers agree almost unanimously on the following grim timetable: by 1975 widespread famines will begin in India; these will spread by 1990 to include all of India, Pakistan, China and the Near East, Africa. By the year 2000, or conceivably sooner, South and Central America will exist under famine conditions. ...By the year 2000, thirty years from now, the entire world, with the exception of Western Europe, North America, and Australia, will be in famine."
Peter Gunter, North Texas State University, in The Living Wilderness Magazine, Spring 1970
----------
"Most of the people who are going to die in the greatest cataclysm in the history of man have already been born. ... By...[1975] some experts feel that food shortages will have escalated the present level of world hunger and starvation into famines of unbelievable proportions. Other experts, more optimistic, think the ultimate food-population collision will not occur until the decade of the 1980s."
Paul Ehrlich, essay, ‘Eco-Catastrophe!’ in Ramparts Magazine, Earth Day Special issue, 1970
----------
"The threat of a new ice age must now stand alongside nuclear war as a likely source of wholesale death and misery for mankind."
Nigel Calder, International Wildlife Magazine, June 1975.
----------
"Scientists have solid experimental and theoretical evidence to support... the following predictions: In a decade, urban dwellers will have to wear gas masks to survive air pollution... by 1985 air pollution will have reduced the amount of sunlight reaching earth by one half..."
Al Gore uses Earth Day to unveil two new Inventions to save Mother Earth from ravages of humans: The GAIA HAT to deflect sunlight into space and The Gorbels Cube In Orbit to cool Mother Earth by partially eclipsing the sun once each orbit.
Gore's invention to save us from getting "too hot" is mainly known by its acronym, "GAIA HAT," which stands for "Gore's Aluminum Invention Abating Hot Air Temperatures," but it's also known by an alternate acronym, which stands for "Dynamic Universal Climatizer Ending Hot Air Temperatures."
...
I see our useful idiots are using the Beijing Olympics and Facebook to spread the Truth™, Joy™, and Freedom™ about Communist China to the masses. Just look at the Bejing '08 Olympic Facebook group!***You will need a facebook account to view the Group***
Beijing Olympics 2008 Group Info... wrote
Beijing…Where there would be no political conflicts, no ethnic, religious, or ideological borders, is the place for athletes, for those who applaud them, and for people who progress and pursue unity. Beijing aspires to share these opportunities with the rest of the global community, just as the slogan says: “One World, One Dream”
Won't you please click on the link below, and light a candle for our beloved Empress? And perhaps you could leave an encouraging message of hope, or even a packet of yeast while you're at it.
My thoughts and prayers are with you constantly. May the fruits of your labor be enjoyed on the 22nd!! Rise Hillary Rise!!
— Sabrina from CA, United States
Dear God give Hillary a Big win in PA..please she our only hope for true change.. Rise Hillary!!!!!!
— from Trinidad and Tobago
Offering of light and strength to fortify your core. Rise Hillary! Rise!
— ms in la from CA, United States
They all can say whatever they want but we know who the real winner is HILLARY CLINTON!!! Rise up Hillary, rise up!!!!
— HRC from Canada
Hillary wins HUGE in Pennsylvania. Hillary gets many important endorsements. Hillary is the democratic nominee. Hillary is the first woman prez of the USA.
— Hillfan from Canada
please give hillary a ninety percent victory in pennslyvania and double digits in all the states after. make her our next president. god bless
— mcgowan.swan from NY, United States
Rise Hillary Rise!
— Miggy from NY, United States
MAY GOD FROM AFRICA SEND HIS LIGHT ON YOU, HILLARY. RISE, RISE. YOUR SISTER FROM AFRICA
— SNB from Cameroon
RISE UP HILLARY RISE! GOD SHINE YOUR LIGHT ON HILLARY, AND REVEAL EXACLTY WHO B.O. IS. BLESS AND PROTECT SO THAT SHE CAN HELP ALL OF US.
— GKM from United States
(Pinkie off)
Boy, copying and pasting sure is a lot of work. No wonder liberals don't have time to find real jobs.
Former Presidential candidate John Edwards awoke very irate this morning.Edwards found himself lying in his bed in an open field.Expecting to awake in his glorious mansion he instead awoke to the waft of cow dung.
Apparently in an overnight operation by the CIA (because they can do ANYTHING). Operatives teleported his mansion to Baghdad to use as the New US Embassy there.
A CIA spokesperson stated "It was the only thing big enough we could easily get our hands on".
A spokesperson for Mr Edwards stated that the CIA should return it asap to it's rightful owner.
The CIA has suggested Mr. Edwards can move and live in his Mansion/Embassy as there are plenty "poor people" in Baghdad to help.........
This is for those whining about Obama’s unwillingness to take a hard, clearly defined stance on a number of issues.
He has released the following document, which precisely explains his position on several important issues. I hope this clears things up.
We received an email today from Nick Olds who wanted to promote his site The Panda Page. I told him to get registered and post his stuff on the Blog. The first post I'll make myself. Today’s subject: College Revolutionaries
The uncontested absurdities of today are the accepted slogans
of tomorrow. They come to be accepted by degrees, by precedent,
by implication, by erosion, by default, by dint of constant
pressure on one side and constant retreat on the other -
until the day when they are suddenly declared to be the country's
official ideology. ~ Ayn Rand
Write down this number and report to your Kommissar at the nearest railroad station.
Don't forget warm clothes and a shovel!
Muanmar drafts Mayor Nagin and Gov. Blanco to help with cyclone clean up
New Orleans Mayor sends school buses to Myanmar As
Darfur violence surges, world vows not to give a crap unless the US gets
involved Chinese citizens crushed by bricks and rubble; tanks have day off Friendly fire: BBC office hit by
al-Qaeda rocket
Al Gore knows what caused Burma cyclone but won't say it
International community promises to suspend anti- Americanism until after
American aid reaches Burma
Mainstream media saddened that Austrian pedophile isn't a Catholic priest,
a Baptist minister, or a GOP senator
North Korea's nuclear technicians protest outsourcing jobs to Syria
Earth
Day: save the planet, starve the children!
Focus group: if water boarding was a sexual preference, they'd be teaching
it in public schools
Study: Wall Street losses unfairly target the rich
Mixed month for MTV: teen pregnancy drops, however STDs are on the rise
Obama pledges to give every typical small town family a possum
sandwich
Delays at American Airlines: a sneak peak into proposed government healthcare
Stop and smell the Sharpies
Obama: baby is punishment; tax increase is bundle of joy
Media: this year's Global
Bad News Awareness week to overlap with International Good News Obliviousness
month
NPR journalists go on truckers-style protest over high price of lattes
Most popular April Fools joke: "A Democrat president won't raise taxes"
click here
Obama denounced extreme statements in Osama's new tape but urged voters
to listen to the entire message before making judgment
Obama's speech calls for change in stereotyping "the typical White person"
Hillary distances self from Rush Limbaugh but not from his Operation
Chaos: "I can no more disown him than I can disown the crossover
Republican voters"
Spitzer denies applying hardball tactics in front of bathroom mirror and threatening to come after himself
New York State House retires Spitzer's #9 jersey
KKK
endorses Harvard's
gym segregation policy: 'Blacks and Jews are next' Hillary picks up endorsement by Supreme
Superdelegate
London quake caused by SUV, now impounded by
Scotland Yard
Hillary's healthcare plan to include smelling salts for Obama's supporters
and mandatory amputation of Chris Matthews' leg
USMail Service to publish Obama's resume on new stamp
Obama: one man's plagiarism is another man's audacity
Candidate Barry O'Bama to court Irish vote
Berkeley ousting US Marines gives hope to al Qaeda: 'If hippies can do
it, so can we!' Hillary's
empty pants suit collection evokes yawns
Berkley builds wall around self; man trying to flee 'Peace Sanctuary City'
shot at checkpoint
John McCain apologizes for going
to Vietnam, earns Jane Fonda's endorsement To avoid scorn and ridicule,
Tom Cruise converts to Islam
NY Times: Backward, close-minded, inbred southern hicks vote for Obama
Rhett Butler Clinton and Scarlet O'Clinton's house in ruins. Plantation empty. New supply of undocumented workers expected soon
NY Times: All the news that's fit to pimp
Dems offer first female for President, first Black for President, first pretty pony for Attorney General
Brokeback Mountain loses climber NASA's
Spirit Rover finds Dennis Kucinich campaign on Mars Las
Vegas: candidates offer plans to bail out flustered gamblers
Feds: subprime borrowers' relief package to include subprime rib
Silence in Cuba: Castro too ill to speak in public, Cubans too afraid to speak
Dems adopt old British "don't mention the war" strategy for '08 campaign
Obama's 'Take a penny, leave a penny' economic plan sparks new
hope
Obama's campaign hires homeless people to talk about change on
street corners
Panhandlers
Union endorses Obama's plan for change Al Gore's children receive carbon
credits for Winter Solstice Holiday
Democrats call for troop surge in the War on Bush Murtha:
if we quit now, capitalism will win
Pelosi
declares she likes class war, pledges to stay the course
Expert blames Republicans for not attacking all Democrat candidates equally
High school Meth teacher starts
new class Holy Mitt!
Violence in Iraq down 60%; media stories reporting this down 6000%
Imus covers all bases by hiring undocumented-Black- Jewish-homeless-
transgendered-vegan- disabled-obese-Kartina- victim as a sidekick
Poll: most Muslims find curvature of Riemannian manifolds offensive
"How The Grinch Redistributed Winter Solstice" opens on Broadway
Truthers: "Clinton bomb threat was an inside job"
Left-wing bloggers hold vigil hoping suspect is connected to GOP candidate
Hostage situation expected to be politicized in the next 20 minutes "Mall security" takes over operations in Baghdad
New study suggests that 1 US gallon of Latte is 170 times more expensive
than 1 US gallon of Regular gasoline. Al
Gore sterilizes self to protect planet: 'Having children is selfish'
NY Times: some news is fitter to print than others
Study: most Americans will be worried about economy if told so often
enough
Musharraf changes name to Chavez to avoid being called "dictator" by
MSM and Democrats in US Congress
Media changes old adage "no news is good news" to "no good news is news"
US Congress extends hurricane season until the first Sunday in November
Hillary: I've always been a Yankees Red Sox Fan
Lack of bad news from Iraq causes
media recession. Women and minority journalists hardest hit. LA
Times drops term "wild" describing fire, uses "undocumented" fire
instead
USA Today: big fires are getting bigger, small fires are getting smaller
Reid: Global Warming caused fire by overheating arsonist's head, provoking
delusional paranoia
MoveOn.org
pressures Congress to stop fighting fire and bring firemen home
Reid: The war on fire is lost
Pelosi: The number of fires has gone up since we started fighting fire
Kerry: If you don't do well in school you'll get stuck fighting fire in California
NY Times: Fighting fire creates even more fires
Hillary: Rush Limbaugh's abuse of power proves need for Fairness
Doctrine
Harry Reid auctions clothes, furniture, car on eBay in effort to make
millions off his name. "If Limbaugh can do it so can I." No takers so
far.
Princess Leia Organa presents the Alderaanian
Medal of Honor to Al Gore
Did Che Guevara descend from Prophet Mohammed?
San Andreas Fault in California preemptively renamed George Bush's Fault
Media Matters editor blows self up over Limbaugh's 'bomber' remark
End of Ramadan brings new rioting season to France
Harry Reid bangs shoe on table: "We will bury you!"
Dutch follow Ahmadinejad's lead, declare "there are no dykes in Holland"
Cheney to Hillary: I find your lack of faith disturbing
Ahmadinejad to Amerika: "Don't tase me, bro!"
Bomb Girl and Taser Boy sell rights to their characters to Marvel Comics
Cindy Sheehan hires Bomb Girl and Taser Boy as image consultants CBS
stands by firing of Dan Rather: "He couldn't
tell our logo from a hole in the ground" Jessie
Jackson on Obama: "too White." Obama on Jackson: "I'm
a smoke dat biatch if I see him"
Hillary silent about connection between her Healthcare plan and the Skull & Bones
Society
Tasered victim at John Kerry's speech to receive Purple Heart Mugabe blames Zimbabwe's meltdown on Global Warming
Hillary:
Some people have skeletons in their closets,
I just have Hsus
To stomp out possible confusion, MSM changes spelling
of Obama to Ubama
Craving acceptance from liberals, General Petraeus gains 300lbs and debuts
report at Cannes.
George Soros stops funding Democrats, converts to Islam
Edwards: 41% of American children don't have lawyers
John Edwards proposes "single payer" trial lawyer insurance for all,
mandatory pre-jurisprudence care
Illegal aliens kill people Americans won't kill Democrats
select 2008 presidential slogan:
"Death to America"
Larry "Happy Feet" Craig uses Michael Flatley's Riverdance defense
"Americans Coming Together" admit they had timing issues
Presbyterian clergy issue fatwah calling
for Pope's death New
Jersey teen cracked iPhone with his face
Vick awaits doggie-style welcome in prison Rock
star behaves like rap star: huge media outcry China's recall of defective Daily Kos bloggers causes suicides among Democrat strategists
Al Gore to recall the Internet
Media declares September National Bridge Awareness Month
First New Orleans, now Minnesota:
Anderson Cooper travels up the Mississippi without a paddle
Ray Nagin pledges to build a chocolate bridge instead
William
Jefferson spotted under collapsed bridge retrieving mystery package Cannibalism,
rape, looting, republicanism rampant in Minneapolis Lindsay Lohan to enter astronaut training
program
Nigeria's plan to nationalize local spam industry
sparks massive riots in Lagos
Democrat Congress's two major victories: minimum wage increase and al-Qaeda's restored operating capability
London Mayor Livingston mandates Sharia law at nightclubs
to prevent further bombings
Taliban spokesman blames media bias as civilian deaths from US air
strikes grab headlines: "Taliban has murdered thousands of civilians and
we can't even get mentioned on Countdown with Olbermann. What gives?" Back alley massage parlors now offering "better ending than Sopranos"
Bush to close Gitmo, detainees released into Mexican custody
to be put on fast track to US citizenship
Study: Dan rather still unable to tell the difference between Paris
Hilton and Katie Couric
Civil war in Gaza: if it's not in Iraq why report it?
US media increasingly impatient at lack of civil war in
Iraq US
Embassy in Syria warns of sex attacks. So how long will Bill be visiting
for?
Delighted Dems: "The surge has failed!" MSM spokesman: There
are no civil war clashes in Gaza!
Palestinians still wonder why their real civil war can't knock Iraq "civil
war" off the front page
As Albanians welcome Bush and show love for USA, NY Times offers them free
subscriptions to "solve problem"
Paris gets out of jail faster than an illegal immigrant
Socialist utopia takes foothold in Venezuela as water cannons salute victory
Pelosi: "I've seen climate change." John Fogerty of CCR also wants to know "if she's ever seen rain"
Troubled by vanishing bees, ...ush and ...lair meet at the
White House to share concerns
Pope Benedict XVI laments the deep divide between Marxism and capitalism in Latin America
Democrats call for troop withdrawal from Jersey
Harry Reid: "Troop presence in New Jersey creating
more terrorists"
French riot police deployed as open minded, tolerant
socialists expected to react to election results
Progressives concerned with Sarkozy's "extremist
agenda
" of rule of law and assimilation to French
culture
Dems: War needs deadline; only social policies can
run indefinitely
Sheryl Crow to wipe out global warming one butt at
a time
Va Tech lessons for MSM: must ban guns, rich kids
ACLU calls for calm, fears backlash against innocent gun owners: 'all gun owners aren't terrorists'
Liberal groups join gun tolerance and awareness workshops
Gun owners converting to Islam in droves to ward off profiling
Sharp jump in number of 'non-decapitated' babies following Supreme Court decision
Sharpton makes a list of 57 Don Imus sympathizers on public airwaves
Al Gore and John Kerry agree: people who live in greenhouses
should not expel noxious gases
Al Gore hired
by K-Y to pro-
mote Global Warming
Jelly
New study shows Earth's 'fever' contagious; Mars asks
planets to kick 'Greenhouse Mary' out of
solar system
Schumer demands Karl Rove be indicted on 1976 parking ticket
Al Qaeda reacts to Schumer attack: "Thank Allah we're
not Republicans!"
Dems: Khalid Sheik Mohamed just watched
too many episodes of 24 and made all that stuff
in his confession up
Fitzgerald to prosecute Ann Coulter for disclosing
identity of presidential candidate John Edwards
Following Scooter Libby success, media demands journalists
be included on all future juries
Kent
State professor calls for bin Laden victory:
time to bring in the National
Guard again?
buy
a T-shirt
more on Deval in a later post.....
Here's our chance to make a 25 seconds political TV ad to be selected for broadcast not by network apparatchiks, but by people who will see it on the Internet (the apparatchiks still can veto it if it doesn't meet the FCC standards). Read this exchange, then post your ideas. You can use both your sense of humor and your sense of serious.
Murtha:
if we quit now, capitalism will win
CBS
stands by firing of Dan Rather: "He couldn't
tell our logo from a hole in the ground"
New
Jersey teen cracked iPhone with his face
MSM spokesman: There
are no civil war clashes in Gaza!
