In honor of Dan Rather, Komrade Kenneth will assist Dan in sending the signal. The frequency is now set. Dan, you may throw the switch and begin transmission:

Today Comrades, millions of socialists are taking to the streets of Amerika to advance the cause of the Welfare State! All borders shall be removed! The Mexicomintern Council has been working very hard with La Raza these past few months, blending fascism and socialism to come up a unique brand of progressive thought which is bound to destroy the Evil Gringo Bush and his capitalist knaves. Assimilation? No! Domination? Yes! Free stuff (hospital care) for everybody! We'll march today and get drunk on Friday, Cinco de Mayo! Even the Mexicans have kicked French Ass!

UnderDog and I took a long deserved holiday... boating in the Black Sea, skiing in the Urals, photographing the people's struggle in France. (which has been mis-labeled as "riots" by the vast right wing media conspiracy) It was mid December when Udie and I made it back to the USSA. At this time Udie popped the question... would I marry him? I told him I had to think it over. After all I was 'married" to the international socialist cause since 1957 and I was unsure about such western bourgoisie traditions, besides, Hillary has promised to abolish marriage when she comes into power. Oh, poor Laika's head was spinning.

Comrades and Members of the Politburo!

I am pleased to report that the Republican show trial of David Rosen over Comrade Hillary's fund-raising fraud has ended in total silence, suppression and acquittal.

After Kommander Kenneth and I jammed the media outlets emitting from the future socialist state of Marxifornia we proceeded to make contact with KGB General David Kendall. Once contact was made, Kendall led us to the secret Laurel Canyon hideout of Warren Beatty (not to be confused with Comrade Betty). There, in his underground laboratory, we were able to use his highly effective mind control wave machine and got not only the judge & prosecutor to roll over and play dead, but also the entire jury.

The judge and prosecutor were easy, I must say, since both are party lackeys and resistence was minimal. The jury on the other hand was quite a challenge! Six hours we struggled comrades! I cannot tell you how many cathode ray tubes were blown up in Warren's lab. At one point we used one of Cher's used crotch tongs to keep the whole thing from falling apart.

At this juncture I ordered a flying squadron comprised of Melissa Etheridge, Brad Pitt and Jennifer Anniston to infiltrate the courtroom and spike the water supply with Ecstasy and they did this with alacrity.

The results were needless to say, astounding. Between the mind control waves and the pyschotropic drugs that were administered, nirvana was achieved and acquittal was declared. After rolling over and playing dead, all awoke and began to cry, with David Rosen himself leading the way. The blubberfest continued until there wasn't a dry eye left in the courtroom. At that point everybody in an act of spontaneity commenced a group hug and began singing in perfect tune "Kumbaya" and the "Internationale". This hardened battle weary Space Dog almost cried, but as you all know, Space Dogs do not cry.

Comrade Her Highness Hillary I am told is very pleased. We have been under a mission communication blackout with Party Central since May 13th for fear of being detected so I have not confirmed this yet. So tell me comrades, what's the reaction from the Kremlin?

Your Humble Party Servant (since 1957),

Laika the Space Dog